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Matthew Simmons

@matthewjsimmons.bsky.social
645 followers 422 following 631 posts

Neutral good hedge wizard. Orzhov with a Golgari chaser. I write about writing and games: matthewjsimmons.substack.com troublednecromancer.bandcamp.com/al…

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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 2h
Made a Marina Vendrell Haunted House deck and did a little linocut for the outside of the deck box.
House and mouth print for a Marina Vendrell deck box.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 9h
In Seattle there’s a fence company called Cool Cat and they have a cartoon cat logo. I see their trucks a lot. Yesterday, I was driving to class and I saw a truck for Rare Bears, also a fencing company. Also with a cartoon logo—this one a bear, natch. Something is going on here. Investigating.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Okay. I pretty much got the only Reality Fracture card I need in my first pack.
Mind Meanderer, bird fish illusion, MtG card. Kinda rad.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Dan Clowes is back!
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Has Google renamed it The Gulf of Super Intelligence yet?
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Thinking of replacing TTRPG Game Night or Commander Game Night with Pit Game Night.
A picture of the box for the Parker brothers card game Pit.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
In “well, that’s the first time I’ve ever seen that” news, I just saw a crow have a sneezing fit.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
The press ban is just a way to keep people from seeing him fall further and further into the depths of his dementia.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Yes. We know.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I like those "Opening Hands with..." such and such commander videos that some of the creators make, and I think it might be fun to make some of my own--especially because I'm so middling at Magic that I'd basically say yes to whatever as long as there are three lands. "I guess this'll work. Dunno."
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Soccer practice
Soccer practice in the background, House of Leaves in the foreground
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Dang @portrayalofguilt.bsky.social is fucking rad. portrayalofguilt.bandcamp.com/album/beginn...
portrayalofguilt.bandcamp.com
…Beginning of the End, by portrayal of guilt
11 track album
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I made a Kibo, Uktabi Prince deck for my son and thought it might be fun to try linocut printing for the first time. And so I made Banana tokens. Not terrible for a first try.
Yellow and black linocut Banana MtG tokens, reminiscent of the banana from the cover of The Velvet Underground and Nico, which I used as a template.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
“We need to have the moon. We really need it. America’s moon. Many people are saying it. Many people are saying we need the moon.”
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Where has Mastiff been my whole life? mastiffhchc.bandcamp.com/album/deprec...
mastiffhchc.bandcamp.com
Deprecipice, by Mastiff
10 track album
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
currently listening to: februusdm.bandcamp.com/album/constr... floating-label.bandcamp.com/album/hesita...
februusdm.bandcamp.com
Construction of Conflict, by FEBRUUS
8 track album
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Found a guitar-playing alligator sticker on the floor of my kids room, so I looked up “dragon bards” on Scryfall and made a Korlessa, Scale Singer card.
Korlessa, Scale Singer, except it’s a kids alligator sticker on a blank playing card, with the text and suck attacked. And the o painted a color field behind it.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Playing around with collage #mtgalters. This one is The Belligerent, but it’s the GOOP cruise ship. You too can have an Izzet vehicle deck with Gwenyth Paltrow’s MLM artifacts! Up next, Mishra’s Bauble, but it’s a vaginal egg.
Collage of the Magic card, The Belligerent, with an image of a “GOOP cruise ship” from a Harper’s article about them.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Playing around with collage #mtgalters. This one is The Belligerent, but it’s the GOOP cruise ship. You too can have an Izzet vehicle deck with Gwenyth Paltrow’s MLM artifacts! Up next, Mishra’s Bauble, but it’s a vaginal egg.
Collage of the Magic card, The Belligerent, with an image of a “GOOP cruise ship” from a Harper’s article about them.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
My HTMLGiant essay about MtG and anxiety got a comment, which is exciting because it's the first post on the site in three years, and this is the first comment in probably the same amount of time. htmlgiant.com/random/magic... Watch for my essay on Cookie Clicker and Universal Paperclips in 2028!
Someone commented to say: "This makes me want to play magic the gathering so bad"
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Sigh. An hour sitting online trying to get some Gene Luen Yang for my kiddo.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
For today's post, I interviewed the game designer @alfredvalley.bsky.social. Good stuff!
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Five days, five posts on A Sympathetic Destroyer. Thanks for reading. matthewjsimmons.substack.com/p/i-have-a-b...
matthewjsimmons.substack.com
“I Have a Borderline Superstitious Belief in Listening to Chance and Seeing Where It Leads Me,” An Interview with Alfred Valley
A Week of Very Short Pieces, Day 5
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Day four of my week of posts. It’s Three Fake Walks. matthewjsimmons.substack.com/p/three-fake...
matthewjsimmons.substack.com
Three Fake Walks
A Week of Very Short Pieces, Day 4
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
"the return of the thin white duke/throwing darts in lovers' eyes" when the thin white duke enters, you become the monarch
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
<--your favorite writer's favorite writer's favorite writer's writer that they think maybe they remember once seeing at an AWP reading or something.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Whither flarf? (That is.)
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Today’s post is a short visual companion to a new, and much longer, review of Magic: The Gathering that I published on HTML Giant yesterday evening. Enjoy! matthewjsimmons.substack.com/p/mtg-basic-...
matthewjsimmons.substack.com
MTG Basic Lands by Agnes Martin
A Week of Very Short Pieces, Day 3
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Day Two of a week of short pieces on A Sympathetice Destroyer continues with an early draft of a LARP called "Psychopomp," a game inspired by VIGIL by George Saunders, Jane McGonigal, and a video by @rhysticstudies.bsky.social. matthewjsimmons.substack.com/p/psychopomp...
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Day Two of a week of short pieces on A Sympathetice Destroyer continues with an early draft of a LARP called "Psychopomp," a game inspired by VIGIL by George Saunders, Jane McGonigal, and a video by @rhysticstudies.bsky.social. matthewjsimmons.substack.com/p/psychopomp...
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Wirecutter having a bit of a day, apparently.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
I have a new, short piece up today. I'm going to do a little something every day this week: matthewjsimmons.substack.com/p/another-co...
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
I often imagine there is a large text thread featuring all the writers I know except me.
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Reposted by Matthew Simmons
Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
If Wizards won't give me "Bullroarer" Took, I'll just have to make him myself.
Alt version of the MTG card Brion Stoutarm, except it's Bandobras "Bullroarer" Took. Art by Andrew DeGraff. Looks pretty good! I should make a deck.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
If Wizards won't give me "Bullroarer" Took, I'll just have to make him myself.
Alt version of the MTG card Brion Stoutarm, except it's Bandobras "Bullroarer" Took. Art by Andrew DeGraff. Looks pretty good! I should make a deck.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
There’s a Goose and a Geese, so that means you can still name your band Gooses.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
In the continuing story of the Steve Jackson Games 1996 Illuminati TCG predicting the future, I opened up my old cards and found the term 2 Trump saga in four cards.
Currency SpeculationPower CorruptsDictatorshipNobel Peace Prize
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
What did you call me, Strands?
Completed August 7th NYT Game Strands, where the last thing I guessed was DINGUS, so at the top of the screenshot, it says DINGUS, which seems rude.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
I’m writing a new campaign for my gaming group, and it starts with the original Blades in the Dark, moves to Wildsea, and ends in Blades ‘68.
Three books, spine forward. Blades ‘68, Wildsea, and Blades in the Dark.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
Picked up a brand new Orzhov commander I’ll have to beg to people to let me play. Still worth it!
Grand Marshal Macie, Orzhov Unfinity card.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
re-teaching myself to play euchre. might use my bulk to make a euchre #mtg deck.
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dannyodwyer @dannyodwyer.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
Remembering all those years ago, that time when my cat tried to eat my Wild Billy Childish and the Black Hands record. Scamp.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
Actively idling.
Two open browser windows on a desktop—one playing Cookie Clicker and the other playing Universal Paperclips.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
Actively idling.
Two open browser windows on a desktop—one playing Cookie Clicker and the other playing Universal Paperclips.
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Reposted by Matthew Simmons
Niv Mizzet's Right Hand Squirrel @mtgcritical.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
All of these alters are currently for sale! $55, payments made via PayPal, DM me to claim one! #mtgalters #squirrel #shadowwizardmoneygang
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Reposted by Matthew Simmons
Victor LaValle @victorlavalle.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Who do we love? Librarians. Forever and always.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
I don’t know. How’s your morning going?
A screenshot of Jack Nance’s head floating in front of a field of maybe stars and a maybe planet. It’s the opening shot of Lynch’s Eraserhead.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
A fine fine mail day yesterday! Received an alter of Kavaron, Memorial World and some wonderful tokens from @mtgcritical.bsky.social. That Saproling will go great with my Gilder Bairn pauper commander deck!
An alter of the magic planet land card Kavaron, Memorial World and some mtg token cards with art by mtg critical.
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Matthew Simmons @matthewjsimmons.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
My current MtG obsession is the Nita, Forum Conciliator deck, where I steal your spells, but might also offer you a settlement: moxfield.com/decks/qcI_Q7... #MtG #commander #orzhov
moxfield.com
Moxfield — MTG Deck Builder
A modern deck-building website for Magic: The Gathering®
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