iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Hah! Tell the truth, how long have you had "K. Mumsy" in your locker, just waiting to go? (Sat in your B. Locker, perhaps I should say.)

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To a whole generation of British people "Aztec" just means old temples and loads of sand.

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THEORY: The level "Angry Aztec" from off of Donkey Kong 64 is called this, not because of anything to do with the Aztec civilisation, but because of the Aztec Zone from off of the 1990s Channel 4 game show The Crystal Maze.

Donkey Kong (tie wearing gorilla) stood by some stairs leading to an old temple in a sandy environment. The temple door has a picture of a llama on it. At the foot of the stairs there is a circular pad with his face on it. There are also bananas on the steps, which is an accident waiting to happen if you ask me.

The Aztec Zone from off of the Crystal Maze. Old temples in a sandy environment. Not pictured: Richard O'Brien.

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Good choices! Though I remember someone on DK Vine (possibly Hyle come to think of it) suggesting Funky should be Captain Jack. Does that break the rules?

Krazy Kopter @krazykopter.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Reposted by Matt Cornah

BREAKING: The Weasels will no longer be opening for Ed Sheeran

The Weasels, a trio that performs at the Cock and Plucker bar in Conker's Bad Fur Day.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Huge astronomy news! Not only has Pluto been reinstated as a planet, it is now larger than Saturn and Uranus. Source: children's ruler I found in a shop.

A children's ruler decorated with images of celestial objects (pictured: Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto) against a starry backdrop. You can't tell from the picture but it has a funky 3D effect when you move it around, it's amazing.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

I like to listen it on a loop whilst staring at this picture. Days, I've lost.

Tiptup the Turtle and Bumper the Badger (pre-arrest) in small planes dodging a missile attack on a distant planet. You can tell it's another planet because the sky is red and the rocks are purple.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Spacedust Alley/Star City from off of Diddy Kong Racing makes me feel like I CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING.

youtube.com

Star City - Diddy Kong Racing

YouTube video by Gamesost

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Post a computer game creature you'd quite like to have as a pet. I want one of these, please.

One of those weird spherical creatures with tiny legs and a giant beak from off of Super Mario Sunshine.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

It would be fucking amazing Karla. It's the world's loss.

Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

Every time I think of a funny photoshop to do I just think, "ah what's the point, some twat with an AI could do it".

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Reposted by Matt Cornah

Andrew Ellard @ellardent.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

There should be a legal requirement not to label “long term online rental until the platform loses rights” as “Buy”. Call it what it is, “long rental”. At which point companies are incentivised to figure out how to make buy *mean* buy, or else lose sales to cheaper short rental and physical media.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Instead of capslock we should make it so that letters are capitalised if you PRESS REALLY HARD on the keys. Can someone sort that out? Okay, thanks.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

"Remember when we all used to wear silver suits and jetpacks? What was THAT all about?"

Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

I miss '80s nostalgia, when are they gonna bring that back?

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Imagine finding out that you've been wearing your shoes the wrong way round all these years.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

She's a very nice lady and I won't hear a bad word said about her.

Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

"I thought you were going to say--" I'm going to stop you there. I didn't say it though, did I? What you thought I was going to say is neither here nor there, and I'll thank you not to interrupt me.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

11 crisps and 1 Wotsit. Basically 12 crisps yes.

You've made me google "water drips emoji meaning". I was not disappointed.

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Oh, I love The Being That Claimed To Be God in Star Trek V! I'm holding out for a The Being That Claimed To Be God in Star Trek V spin-off series - presumably called "Star Trek: The Adventures of the Being That Claimed To Be God in Star Trek V".

Do one from off of the Star Treks please.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

Right. This is gonna go absolutely viral so get ready for this. I like crisps.

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I have an un-posted draft on here which begins "when I am World King" and then elaborates no further. This is probably an excellent argument for why I should not be World King.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

I can foresee no negative consequences from this.

Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

This is how money should work in real life. Once you hit 99999 it just won't let you have anymore, that's your lot.

Coin counter from Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3. Total is maxed out at 99999 after having added all of the treasure. Wario is giggling in the bottom left corner whilst wearing a Victorian pith helmet.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

I'm on my holiday in the Scottish highlands this week and I've just seen something in the loch! This blows the whole thing wide open.

A strange creature apparently emerging from a loch. Some might say it looks very much like a human hand but to them I say SHUT YOUR FACE.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Staying at a hotel. Full view mirror wall facing the toilet. The true horror of self-reflection. Whose idea was this? Anyway, pics will follow.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

Hi Americans! In honour of your big birthday I have made a list of the BEST AMERICAN THINGS. • That Wesley Willis song about McDonald's • Clippy the Microsoft paperclip • The American woman who says "battery low" in my Bluetooth headphones • Worf off of Star Trek Okay, that's the end of the list.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

Can British people stop saying "zee" please? Have some self-respect.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

What do you mean "Dunnop who"? It's me! Dunnop! How many other Dunnops do you know?

Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

Please help my friend Alastair out with this one if you can. #Urgent

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

Watching an episode of Blake's 7 where they're clearly freezing their tits off on location. WHY CAN'T *I* BE FREEZING MY TITS OFF ON LOCATION?

Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

ONLY IF YOU'VE BEEN VERY NAUGHTY.

Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

As we're currently equidistant from 25 December in both directions (more or less), I hereby declare today to be ANTICHRIST-MAS. Merry Antichrist-mas everybody!

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

Going for a run. If I don't survive, AVENGE MY DEATH.

Tom Neenan @tpneenan.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

Reposted by Matt Cornah

so were they just lying about having written the kier starmer christmas special?

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

Funny how the first three episodes of Star Trek (broadcast order, obvs) are "a person with magic powers has infiltrated the ship", "a person with magic powers has infiltrated the ship", and "a person with magic powers has infiltrated the ship".

Nancy Crater, a human woman (actually a salt-sucking furry alien, not pictured).

Charlie Evans, a human boy. Looks a bit naughty.

Gary Mitchell, a human man with scary silver eyes.

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

Hang on a minute, "costume"? So are you saying Mr Blobby isn't real??? 😭😭😭

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Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

Well I won't pretend I'm not a little bit disappointed.

Matt Cornah @mattcornah.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

If this post gets a million likes I will post a picture of my bum. I might post it anyway.