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Martin Wickham

@martinwickham.bsky.social
288 followers 81 following 1.6K posts

A cynical soul. Legacy Chelsea. Ranting. Sarcasm. Occasional podcasting. English by birth, Irish by blood, passport, head size and skin paleness. Views my own or recycled from somewhere or other.

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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 29m
There was a bit of grown man behaviour outside but most of them were stunned into silence
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 33m
I didn’t think we’d been held back. It was just that we couldn’t get down the steps for laughing
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 37m
I walked back to the club coach trying to conceal the smile on my face
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Oh it’s done. Final night is tomorrow with a tournament to send it off properly
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
One board in the corner with an automatic counter to help with outshots. A photo from the time Steve Beaton did an exhibition left in the office.
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
www.thetimes.com/life-style/f... Daniel Craig/Soho House vs darts. Reckon @jonathanliew.bsky.social could get a story out of this mad development
thetimes.com
Meet the new pub landlords: why Daniel Craig is running a boozer
When he was a child, people partied hard at his grandparents’ tavern. Now the actor is hoping for lively sessions at the Clerkenwell watering hole he co-owns with Nick Jones and Charlie Carroll
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Does Cristiano Ronaldo not realise what a fucking child he sounds like in that statement?
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
As soon as I saw the news of death I thought about Monica Coughlan.
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
He gave the heebie-jeebies a year ago. I’m a Burnham sceptic but if he’s blown this spoofers political career sky high I’m seeing positive signs.
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
This fucking coward has disabled the ability to quote tweet here. So from a non-Jew who opposes the vile actions of the current Israeli government in regards to Gaza and Palestine I’ll say this. You’re an utter, utter cunt.
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I reckon that’s self evident….
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Arse Museum - Muse
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Burning Arse - Elvis
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
This is so bad I half read the description and assumed it was related to QEII
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
youtu.be/wLwBRI6dcBM?...
youtu.be
Jed Thomas - All Around My Arse (Original & Live Versions) The Fast Show
YouTube video by Jimmy Barnes
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
All Around My ARSE!!! A Fast Show reference there
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Every reservation I had about Zack Polanski has been proven horrendously correct. That’s my politics tweet for the month. Back to football and nonsense…
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Just saw a quote attributed to Jeffrey Archer’s editor. That sounds like a job I wouldn’t admit to…
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Seeing that Jimmy Mac lad on Instagram talking about the closure of a pub I play a lot of darts in is surreal to say the least. RIP The Horseshoe…
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
When he was going through the house looking for some to eat I had “I demand to have some food!” in my head
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
They fucking killed off Acaster haven’t they?
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
For Christs sake get rid of Amol Rajan first
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
A quick look at the skyline of central Manchester explains this I reckon…
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Adverts for the film Disclosure Day on Sky Sports News ads tonight.
static.klipy.com
Big Oof Size Meme
ALT: Big Oof Size Meme
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
My missus just clocked Miguel Delaney on Sky Sports News and said he looked like he was about to cry. Had to explain he was currently like a dog with two dicks what with the City verdict. Also SSN, you do not need to do the ALL CAPS on the ticker!
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
It’s never a good look if your accountancy could cause an 8 page feature in Private Eye… BlueCo have got themselves down to an In The Back column. For now.
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
and plenty of time to wean themselves off it once Kawada didn’t jump to NOAH…
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
@leftback.bsky.social just seen that awful news about the AEW lad dying at 40. Last I recall of him he was a wisp of a kid in Dragon Gate. Vitamin S?
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
The players were put in an absolutely despicable position by a spineless FA and UEFA. I praise Bazunu for pulling out but won’t condemn the players who are playing. That said, I don’t have to watch either fixture and I won’t. Remember how quickly they drummed out Russia
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
A multiple window ban and a massive fine. Maybe a deduction but I can see that getting appealed.
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
And now I can’t find the market at all
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
That said, after we got humped by Brentford I looked at the relegation odds in a dark moment. Coral had Citeh at 16/1 last week. I’m guessing it was a hedge considering the appeal process would go into next season?
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
And Man City’s spending spree makes sense now. I’m assuming a multiple window transfer ban and a fine (not that it will make the owners worry about where the next meal is coming from) I’m going to ignore the fantasy scenarios out there. Can’t see the PL giving out Lance Armstrong penalties.
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Just think, if a certain crusader had been as strident on that chant as he was others. Couldn’t make any money out of it though
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Just listening to the latest Football Weekly and the discussion regarding a pair of international games that shouldn’t be happening (in my view at least). Will keep an eye out for passive aggressive Jacob Steinberg tweets for the remainder of the international break
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Bloody thing ran like it had three legs when I backed it Galway 🤬 Owned by my uncle, bit of a distant man but my aunt Mary was as involved as any in those horses. We lost her last July and Willie Mullins turned up for the funeral service despite the arseload of work he must do day to day…
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Sky have the rights to Saffer home games and their T20 competition. Just trumpeted exclusive rights for the England tour over there. Which at least gets it off TNT Sports!
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Anyway, played singles league darts for the first time in six months and burgled a win. I appear to throw like a left-handed Chris Dobey but with less accuracy. I appreciate only @leftback.bsky.social gets this!
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Spent years reading all the nonsense about “oh you can’t dismiss their opinion like this” - enough of that. The best thing that could happen to the left of this pox ridden hole of a country is a collective decision to dish out pure verbal wallops to the dumbest people in this country
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
The saddest thing is I’m not shocked in the slightest. I just selfishly breath a sigh of relief I live in the London that scares them so much so I don’t need to interact with these inbred cunts.
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
If you’re on Disney+ have a look at the La Liga highlights and possibly the worst AI commentary of all time
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Just watched SNL UK and I feel like my brain was scraped for the sketch about Lime bikes
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Can’t take a man seriously who looks like he still wears stuff like this…
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Flicked channel just in time for the second goal from Malard. You’re all welcome
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
last night even. Might have taken the same tablets. It’s early and I’m at work. Leave me be. Aargh!
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
He looked like he was playing on a diet of sleeping pills and propofol tonight.
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
You’ve just reminded me of a former work colleague who walked past a construction site on High Holborn and heard the sound of a glass panel hitting the ground from a great height behind him. My top lip is now all sweaty…
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
No algorithm so no
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
There are people I know and usually like on there who genuinely believed that shit about a title challenge and are losing their heads accordingly… If someone invents a feature that automatically mutes accounts over there based on location my timeline would be cleansed beyond recognition…
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Martin Wickham @martinwickham.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Got my Fouracres/Burnham prediction right judging by the one clip of SNL UK I’ve seen… “Makerfield?” “Maybe I will”
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