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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 6h

Glad you clarified, as my first thought was "Mustard? A bit niche and possibly ouchy". Not in a judgemental way, though...

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 18h

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars... Unless it's the gutter running off the latrine, in which case you'll be unlucky if you're conscious enough to look at anything

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 19h

Tend not to bother much with litigation in these parts, so you're safe (on that front, anyways)

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 22h

Tenuous excuse alert... Perhaps the fumes of the Mead Hall sprouts are addling his brain

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 22h

Is that sung to the tune of "So bring us some figgy pudding"?

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 23h

Me mam used to make a lovely ham and Boston baked beans

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 23h

I think he may have had some help 😉 At least it wasn't me for a change!

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Note to self... Remember not to read the Wülferhampton feed whilst eating!

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

I have just remembered she was called Jill. I was trying to remember this a few days ago...

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

The amount of uncleaned stuff that gets handed in beggars belief (and quite often contaminates good quality stuff depending on how it's collected). And all so that they can a) make dumping it someone else's problem and b) do the "we hardly throw anything out, we either recycle or donate to charity"

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

That sounds like a good shout... With proper Scotch morning rolls, we just have butter

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Also, on a Monday, my mum had her own take on the club sandwich. Between tge first two slices would be cold meats from the Sunday roast and then between the other two, sliced leftover roast potatoes and brown sauce. They were fab!

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Chip butties are wonderful things, as are crisp sandwiches (cheese optional)... In Scotland, tattie scones on a morning roll is a favourite (personally, I prefer hash browns on a bacon roll, but I try to keep quiet about it)

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

If it's egg n chips, surely has to be fried... Buttered slice takes me back. If we went for tea (dinner) at some of our mates, there was always a loaf of bread and a slab if butter on the table 😋

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I thought these were all things that were standard, even expected, behaviour for that lot...

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I also appear to have lost the ability to spot typos...

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Not sure I was quite ready for seeing the words "see my masthead"* *I gave lurgy, my filthy mind is nit my fault** **must remember to think if another excuse for when I don't have lurgy

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I read that first time with an extra "h"...

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

You forgot to add the trademark symbol for good measure...

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Surely "top of the range" is the only type of cat there is...

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

How does he manage to look like he's wearing a bowler hat...

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

If that had been (5,4), I'd have suggested "faffy shit"

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Reposted by Marchioness

Mark Thompson @markreckons.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

New from me on Political Sandbox: Not Everything Has Two Sides The PM said the security services told him Russia interfered in the Brexit referendum. The BBC found a pro-Brexit lobby group to rebut things he never said. politicalsandbox.substack.com/p/not…

A noir illustration of a dim broadcast studio. Under a single red-tinted light, a set of brass scales hangs perfectly level: one pan holds a thick government dossier tied with red string and sealed with red wax, the other a battered megaphone. A television camera on a tripod watches from the shadows.

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Don't sell yourself short* - I think you could lay claim to "might be more than one of them" *saying this as a shortarse** **never really understood this expression, as my arse is a perfectly normal length

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Is this the Winston Churchill who first appeared on the £5 note in 2016 (taking over FROM A WOMAN)?

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

We partake of a lot of that type of meal deal as well

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Fingers crossed for your OH. Try to switch off completely to pollys and focus on your OH. Take time to look after yourself too...

static.klipy.com

Pengu Pudgy

ALT: Pengu Pudgy

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Channelled correctly, this could scorch and burn our glorious leader's nasal hairs to perfection (a la Turkish) and save him precious moments that could be better spent on telling us all how cuntly we've been

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

If it's hung over his personal latrine, I'm surprised he can stand there long enough to trim his nasal hair. After all, it's only the nasal hair that's holding back the stench (the Mead Hall sprouts may only be 3 months in the cooking, the after effects last the whole year long)

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Perhaps they should start by not being mean to people (and animals) first. Once they've got the hang of that, we could maybe consider a pointless conversation about being mean to AI... Though I suppose being nice to Siri might train / trick them into being nice to others

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Shhh - I was trying not to scare the livestock. I've only just got the cows down off the roof of a cotton house from the last time someone mentioned KP...

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Marchioness @marquessofailsa.bsky.social · 09/10/2026