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Mark Oswin

@markoswin.bsky.social
268 followers 220 following 225 posts

Comedy screenwriter person

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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
A classic Star Trek title card for lost episode “Doohan, Wolf and Nuts” in which the crew’s five year mission is changed from seeking new life and civilisations to taking aging actor James Doohan to a distant world and watching his reaction to a wolf eating nuts.
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
In the new series, PC Plum (Edward Woodward) returns to Balamory following the disappearance of Penny Pocket's daughter. After finding a hare buried in the grave of Josie Jump, Plum's enquiries lead him to the Island's Laird (Miles Jupp) who has sinister plans to revive the island's failing harvest.
A BBC news headline about the new and returning cast of Balamory, after 21 years.
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
Bradford City of Culture closing ceremony. What an amazing year! Huge congrats to everyone involved, particularly the missus.
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 19/08/2025
Grand Prix of Europe opens in UK cinemas this Friday. Positive reviews are already coming in for this fun, fast-paced rodent racing movie - which features a stellar cast (Gemma Arterton, Thomas Brodie-Sanger, Hatley Atwell, Lenny Henry) and smatterings of general script-polishy nonsense by me.
Poster for the animated kids movie Grand Prix of Europe, featuring the animal characters and general animated racing car mayhem.
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 05/05/2025
How much blue and yellow smoke inhalation is a fatal amount? #lufc
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
A screenshot of Uni, the annoying unicorn from the 1980s Dungeons & Dragons cartoon.
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 10/01/2025
At the Bradford 2025 opening ceremony. Spectacular and joyous. Inspiring.
Bradford 2025 stage.
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 23/12/2024
Merr-AI Christmas everyone!
A Christmas card with the message Merr-AI Christmas. The card shows a scene from the original Miracle on 34th Street in which Kris Kringle is replaced by an horrific AI hallucination of Santa with warped face, multiple arms and legs and fingers that are just wrong on every level. Behind him is a weird mass of Christmas tree. Natalie Wood and a child stare at him uncertainly.
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
But it got worse when the policeman at the Lobby Queue asked us what we were doing. He seemed to initially assume we were there for some kind of cause…
Two Spocks and a VHS cameraman in the Lobby Queue outside Parliament (photo taken by remaining, unaccounted for Spock)
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
Finding MPs was pretty easy and we quickly managed to film ourselves following Donald Dewar and George Robertson about - but they were both not-Tories and also disappointingly light on their feet, quickly disappearing into parliament, where it was impossible for the three Spocks to follow.
Us, as three Spocks, outside the Houses of Parliament
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
Soon we were pushing our clothes down into the massive bag, having got changed in the bushes at Victoria Tower Gardens. Next, the serious business of finding some MPs to follow about whilst taking tricorder readings and calling them “Captain”…
Me affixing Jim's pointed ear as we get changed in the bushes near Parliament
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 22/11/2024
RTS award for So Awkward Academy!!
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 14/09/2024
Saw them at a party in some kind of aircraft hanger in Glasgow in the early 90s and then again a couple of months before Keith’s death. Incredible both times (also played him a couple of times in low budget TV comedy shows. Got some fun reactions walking around with that hair)
A screen capture of me playing Keith Flint on the Paramount Comedy Channel in 1998
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 14/09/2024
Decided to look up what alum is…
An clumsily altered article about alum which reads: “Culinary Uses of Alum Powder:
Alum powder has several culinary uses, making it a versatile ingredient in the kitchen. Some of the common uses of alum powder in cooking include:
1. Crispier Pickles: Alum powder is often used in pickling to help maintain the crispness of fruits and vegetables.
2. Firming Agent: It is used as a firming agent in certain types of foods, such as pickles and some fruits.
3. Sour Lemon Substitute: In some traditional CARTOONS alum is USED BY WILY ANIMATED MICE to help MAKE HUNGRY CATS MOUTHS GO ALL SMALL”
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 10/09/2024
I’m not saying the football’s boring, but I spent the first half making this…
The cover of “Grimly Fiendish” by The Damned but hilariously retitled “Fimly Grelish” with Jack Grelish’s face replacing that of the original woman.
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 15/08/2024
“Bumper grades”? When did Whizzer & Chips take over writing Guardian notifications?
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 26/07/2024
And this is her telling me to think once, think twice, think bike.
My cat meowing at me. Again.
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 26/07/2024
This is my cat telling me not to play hide and seek in an abandoned fridge.
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 26/07/2024
Whenever my cat meows at me I pretend she’s giving me safety advice like Charlie the cat in the 1970s public information films. This is her telling me not to retrieve frisbees from electrical substations…
My cat meowing at me
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 12/07/2024
You lucky southern bastards.
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 28/06/2024
Underworld at the Piece Hall. Knickers to your Glastonbury
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 05/06/2024
Back in 1997 the Tories genius NEW LABOUR NEW DANGER poster campaign revealed evil eyes lurking behind a red curtain. What's less well known is that we found the terrifying creature behind the curtain and took it to leap out on Sir Giles Shaw, chairman of the 1922 committee, at his office in Pudsey.
The terrifying New Labour Monster, a kind of hairy wolfman in a suit, growling in front of a NEW LABOUR NEW DANGER poster in 1997
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 28/05/2024
My daughter’s just discovered how pathetic Instagram’s AI opt-out is (and is beside herself, having spent years building a community there). Anyone here know of any alternative thievery-free sites for artists?
A heavily stylised cartoon illustration of someone’s neck exploding with frustration
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 26/05/2024
This is called “going to comprehensive school”. But I appreciate this might be a valuable experience for people who’ve been to public school… so maybe just send them…?
A quote in which James Cleverly says, “The broader point about this national service is that we want to build a society where people mix with people outside their own communities, mix with people from different backgrounds, different religions, different income levels.”
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 10/05/2024
Northern lights over Leeds right now
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 08/05/2024
I know this is a Labour Party online campaign but my god, you could stick this up on every billboard as the only campaign poster of the election… and then bring it back in 2029 and 2034. The horror at what these people have presided over is deeply embedded.
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 21/03/2024
Imagine how bad things would be if we hadn’t of done the Brexits.
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 16/03/2024
I dunno. Constantly having to fucking read about it?
Guardian article headline: How will you be affected by the M25 closure?
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 18/02/2024
Guess I ought to have updated my profile pic...
My cartton profile picture minus eyebrows
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 18/02/2024
Or...
A beanie with eyebrows on it
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Mark Oswin @markoswin.bsky.social · 18/02/2024
This week I did two things: * Accidentally shave off my eyebrows while attempting to tidy them up for Valentine's Day * Joined Bluesky At least one of these was a mistake. Let's see.
The devastated part of my face where eyebrows used to live
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