iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

He was great, but did he ever walk with the Queen like his son?

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

I used to have sea monkeys, but then I fell on hard times and had to sell them to the prawn shop.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Been a couple of days without a decent bowel movement, got me wondering where I can get my hands on some of that tainted lettuce.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

I'm really livid over this Odyssey casting! Victor Isaac as Musician #2! GTFOH!!!

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Reposted by Stewart Goldstein

Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @nothoodlum.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Procol Harum’s Denmark performance of “A Whiter Shade of Pale” is regarded as one of the greatest live renditions of the song ever recorded. The band performed with a 72-piece orchestra and a 50- to 70-member choir. Edited for format. Watch the full version on YouTube.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

We need a new Battle of the Network Stars. Let's pit Netflix against Prime.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

To make ends meet, I've joined OnlyFans; the more money you put in, the more clothes I put on. I look like this now.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 21/05/2026

You just know he's going to rename it the Strait of America and then claim ownership.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 17/05/2026

Dracula on his YouTube channel, traveling the world: "Okay, one bite, everyone knows the rules."

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

I've just gerrymandered my home, if you want freedom you can stand in the northeast corner of the guest room.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

When a priest picks you up hitchhiking: Cash, grass or mass?

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

Mr. President, we must not allow a grand ballroom gap!

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 21/04/2026

Blood from the Mummy's Tomb Tears from Dracula's Crypt Sweat from Frankenstein's Grave Snot from the Werewolf's Walk-In Closet Bile from the Creature's Laundry Room Earwax from the Phantom's Foyer

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 11/04/2026

"Are the monkeys behind all the bees?" (the first time I saw an apiary)

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 04/04/2026

You know when you get a hunch about something, and you can't stop thinking about it, so you think about it some more, only to find that hours have passed: I think King Kong would love peanut butter.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 04/04/2026

Trump reminds me of Jason Mendoza from The Good Place, "Any time I had a problem, and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Right away, I had a different problem."

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 04/04/2026

Just took a job as a propmaster for a new staging of Hamlet; think I'm gonna replace Yorick's skull with a flan that keeps trying to slide off the plate.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 01/04/2026

Prediction: the USA wins the world cup (because we're going to deport all the other teams)

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

The older I get, the more I reflect on the important people from my childhood and how I wish I could have thanked them back then; so, thank you, guy with the blue hat and red jacket, and thank you, miss brown hair with glasses — you really meant a lot to me.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 25/03/2026

Actually, it's really the Kruger-Dunning Effect.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 18/03/2026

Icarus (flying too close to the sun): This is what I voted for!

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 22/02/2026

Forgotten Blaxploitation films of the '70s: Black Caesar Black Shampoo Blackenstein 12 Angry Black Men Black Jaws On The Black Waterfront Black Citizen Kane Black Rocky Black-Hur Black Cassidy and The Sundance Kid Casablacka

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 21/02/2026

You can keep your candy, but I will get into that unmarked white van if you offer me some smoked Gruyère cheese.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 08/02/2026

Oh, yeah, how do we know the kids weren't molesting him? Checkmate, libs!

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 07/02/2026

Maybe a certain group of people would believe the Epstein files if he wrote more about pizza.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 16/01/2026

Now that he has his Peace Prize, I think he's going to go for the EGOT next.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 13/01/2026

Sisyphus was the original rock 'n' roller

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

"There's no such thing as a free lunch," said by someone who's never bought me lunch.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

Arby's slogan, "We have the meats," kinda sounds like the beginning of a ransom note.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

He won the Presidency so he can fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming an interior decorator.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 05/12/2025

Excuse me? Why, just this morning I ended 12 wars, I think I deserve that second bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 27/11/2025

What did Jesus eat for Thanksgiving?

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 25/11/2025

It's time to come clean: I've been a Macedonian bot farm the whole time.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 15/11/2025

We're probably just days away from discovering he spent a million dollars to be flown to a remote island where he was permitted to club baby seals.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 28/10/2025

You remember that little house on the prairie, it just sold for $1.5 million.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 26/10/2025

No matter how good Oscar Isaac is in Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein, he will never beat Udo Kier in Andy Warhol's Flesh for Frankenstein, who said, "To know death, Otto, you have to fuck life... in the gall bladder!"

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 15/10/2025

It's harder to be a perfect democrat than it is to get into the good place.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 12/10/2025

The one reason why it's better to be a Jets fan: We're never disappointed, we never expect anything from them.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 10/10/2025

I'm gonna give you an offer you can't refuse: either you give me the Nobel Peace Prize, or you're gonna get a knock on your door from the Department of War.

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Stewart Goldstein @mantleclinic.bsky.social · 07/10/2025