MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 19hYou can't work to be this stupid, baby. You gotta be boring with it. 161
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I genuinely love selling jewelry online. I make people so happy with beautiful things and it's also a revolving costume party for me. Just a little too easy to go overboard 140
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 17/09/2026With "friends" like fkn Stacey who needs acquaintances AMIRITE?! (I am available to perform at nursing homes.) 032
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Sometimes, on some occasions, I "think first" and don't hit the send button 172
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Have to look it up I kind of get mini blades from everywhere I can 110
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 24/08/2026My only-for-fun stand completely outside my workspace is getting chaotic but I also really love it 151
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Another week, same old routine. (I am soooo tired of everyone constantly being like: "Oh my god, you are so good at murder! How are so f-ing good at it?" and then telling all their friends. Ugh. I just AM, all right? Leave me alone already. Get a life.) 031
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 20/08/2026There comes a time in every woman's life when she must ask herself, "Have I acted in sufficiently creepy ways this week?" If she finds herself lacking there is but only one corrective action, and that is to purchase a taxidermy bat with a portion of her grocery allowance. 030
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Also look at this masterpiece I'm awaiting from friend It's vibrator & I already know my mom is gonna ask so I have an answer prepared: "It's a sausage, mom. It's so funny & it's a beautiful critique. It's called "The sausAGE OF REASON" here's this divine Ancient Greek statue with a 120
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 19/08/2026I just got these stickers in the mail that are the most me thing on earth 121517417
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 19/08/2026First thing I have to tell people when they walk into my apartment is don't touch the butterflies! They are real and very delicate but you may pet the taxidermy birds, but gently please. 250
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 18/08/2026Moths can be even more beautiful than butterflies and so far I only have the top two on the right but rest are coming (the 3 moths too) and I am unreasonably happy 111
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 13/08/2026"Add it Up" is about a guy who finally gets hard enough to have sex with a female he likes but she stops him to add up days since her period to assess pregnancy risk 😂 070
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 04/08/2026My friend & autism advocate (RIP sweet Steve 🥹) agreed Musk claims autism to boost eccentric genius self-mythology. Autistics are more honest & lower in greed. This is not opinion btw it's documented scientifically. This obsequious a-hole bowing to power & beaming by a mass murderer is 0% autistic 050
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 03/08/2026"Effector" is one of the cutest terms in the already very cutely named arena of "defense technology." "effector autonomous disable capabilities" is a fun google search (keep in mind that these results are the ones not even hidden from public view) 010
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 31/07/2026And in some more extremely autistic behavior I now present you with: “HOW TO MAKE A PHONE CALL” (A helpful flowchart.) 212114
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 27/07/2026I feel the same about this. It still amuses me every single I think about it. Victimless first-world anarchy 051
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 27/07/2026🎶 I never could be happy in the city at night, you can't see the stars for the neon lights Nobody here can dance like meeee, everybody's clapping on the 1 and the 3. Am I... the last of my kind?" == They really cant dance like me tho but cuz sobriety, sense of approriateness, general sanity, etc 141
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 25/07/2026I mean who *wouldnt* fk this bird? Like stop showing off already, bro. We get it. You're beautiful. 1162
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Yeah I'm super fascinated by this because I didn't think it was legal to have any human parts taxidermied. I incorporate taxidermy into some sculptures... 111
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 07/07/2026And stop posting pictures of me without my permission!!! 031
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 05/07/2026Trying to maintain a healthy work-life balance is so hard 061
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 03/07/2026"Why?" Did you mean, "Why not?" and "That's awesome!" It's my apartment I'll decorate it however the fk I want 321
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 22/06/2026I'm driving on water, kids. Like a fucking Messiah 010
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 18/06/2026"This is one of the songs that'll be on my first album which will be multi-genre. First part is fuck the American Dream. Second part is "God lies between these thighs (or dismantle the patriarchy.)" I haven't listened yet. I'm scared!! 130
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 18/06/2026I mean the painting (revealed as she slowly rotates it, and set to music) does not look dissimilar to what I imagined. I hope this is an Andy Kauffman-like bit she's fully committed herself to. Amazing. 110
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 31/05/2026My interaction with a scammer on Facebook. From the bottom of my heart… I could not be proud of myself. Like the laws of physics would literally not allow it. 130
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 31/05/2026Working on some things and wouldn't it be cool to kind of see a structure building itself? What do see say when you look at this series? I just want to know that when I'm trying to convey is coming across 110
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 27/05/2026Every time I think I've reached peak autism I surprise myself and go a little higher 010
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 27/05/2026Good morning, Jerry. Good morning, Goldie Hawn. Who wants pancakes? 120
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 19/05/2026Thanks, ukulele case! I I think I am too. And whoever sees this? So are u! 🙌🙌 150
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 19/05/2026I hardly step foot in my kitchen before Agnes gives me the side eye. Chill, little birdie. Look at her angry little face! We have to share this apartment you know. 032
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 15/05/2026Yes, of course, and you know how much I'd *love* to go. But these antique chandelier arms aren't just going to fill *themselves* with crystals, now are they? 030
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 13/05/2026This hanging light is very low, I'm 5'2" but I couldn't go under them if they were 1 inch longer (above dining table light) A step ladder it's not even that tall and holy cow! No one ever told me the view from being taller was so fucking cool!! 120
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 08/05/2026Everything is terrifying but look at these non-AI chubby birds!! 162
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 06/05/2026I have very good tips and advice of all kinds if you need any 120
MajorFlake @majorflake.bsky.social · 06/05/2026I am extremely shadow-banned there but proud to report that on my musk-trashing Twitter account this clip (made with his AI) has several posts and nearly 1M views combined and I really hope he's seen it 551
