iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 12h

I have to remember to be more kind to myself and that fighting cancer is not linear. Im gonna go from a to b to d then back round. I need to remember I didn't hear no bell. I ain't done yet.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

I forgot to put a chemo cap on while I was sitting on my porch enjoying a joint. By the time I noticed the weed kicked in and I was like meh. Giving Cynthia doll realness.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

They said chemo wouldn't make me bald but I'd thin out a lot. I'm entering into dropped lollipop on the shag carpeting head.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I always feel bad when I tell people I have cancer and they go oh I'm sorry to hear this in a sad tone. I don't want them to feel bad or sorry for me. I got dealt a shit hand and I'm dealing with it. All there is to it. I have days where I feel sorry for myself enough so strangers don't need to.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I was saying goodnight to my daughter and I always add in I love you. She never usually says it back bc she knows I know. She said it first and I've been crying for days over it. It was so nice to hear especially cause I've been feeling really low lately.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

I listened to my mom and took a particular route to the grocery store. She said LOTS of shade. Behold the only shade I'd found.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Ahhh I see. I totally would crack a beer there but I got some decorum.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

What for not cracking a beer at chemo? I am thirsting for a beer for sure. If a certain someone would die I would be able to have said beer. I'm not pushing my new liver for no reason.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

I cracked open a pop shoppe root beer as a goodbye at chemo. Cause it will taste like medicine for a bit. This woman looked at me alarmed. Settle down lady I have problems for sure but I'm not at crack a beer at chemo type of gal. Had to turn the label to the front.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

I HATE when people tell me to stay strong. Bitch Im working through shit that your weak ass couldn't possibly fathom. I've been/am strong. Stick your platitudes up your ass and leave me alone if this is all you offer.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

All the Americans complaining about the wildfire smoke is like the fart calling the turd stinky.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

For me one of the worst things about cancer is the lack of bodily autonomy. "Oh I have to have a line in my arm 24/7 and its gonna itch so bad im gonna want to yank my arm off? Cool!" And I know its this or the grave but its exhausting.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

I have to drink more BUT my tastebuds are all fucked up. Me: ughhhh this shit tastes like Dasani. Son: I like Dasani. Me: I have no son. Get out!!

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

Took a big sip of peach seltzer water was like "Goddamn chemo ruins everything!! This tastes HORRIBLE!!" *Look at the bottle that says mandarin and orange?* Oh! Still nasty though.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

I once told a customer "if this keeps up we will be reading about ourselves in the newspaper tomorrow" It was probably my nicest most respectable square up ever.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

Me: I need more whimsy in my life. *Puts on drag queen toppers. Thank you pair eyewear for letting me be as weird as I wanna be.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

A man on a dating site said my profile had a wonderful feral energy. Ive never felt more seen.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

In my Uber today my boot squeaked on the rubber floor mat and it sounded like the world's saddest fart. I refrained from sharing that it wasn't and my butthole is only decorative right now. I instead sat there like this.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

Told my kids and my son was like "Yeah cancers not taking you out. Now a poodle off a high rise or some other weird ass accident? Absolutely. Maybe a space toilet or debris?" Lord knows there is enough out there now. Thanks Elon you dickhead.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

Fuck you cancer!! My tumours are shrinking making the last 3 months of absolutely ass worth it!

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

Stupid ex husband: Im probably gonna go home and crash out. Me: Yeah you will!! His live in gf? stole money off him and he now keeps his wallet in his trunk. I have him as Capt Trunk Wallet-Cuck the First in my contacts.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 19/03/2026

I shaved my head because my hair was less pixie more simple jack. Every time I rub my head I hear "I dreamed a dream in times gone byeee"

media.tenor.com

a close up of a woman 's face with tears running down her cheeks .

ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with tears running down her cheeks .

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 19/03/2026

Absolutely figures the drug that stops you from puking during chemo also turns off your serotonin. It was already at a trickle. Thank God for weed. Haha

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 07/03/2026

They told me that my hair won't all fall out with the chemo but it will get thin. I think I'd rather it all fall out. I went and got a pixie cut and I look like simple Jack now. Everyone tells me that the loss isn't that noticeable. Yeah well that's lovely to hear. I've noticed it a lot.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 07/03/2026

Why do people eat garbage and then act surprised it's not good for you? Pop tarts have petroleum in em? Least shocking news Ive ever heard. It's like eating a battery a day and then being shocked when told it's not good for you to do that.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 05/03/2026

I was discussing the weather/winter with the cancer assistance driver Me: I never found out how cold it was. I thinking how much I hated working Jan and Feb in dec. Well found this out on December 31st. Guess I REALLY didn't want to work. Driver: awkward chuckle Me: silent the rest of the way home

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

Literally me today when my mom was talking to me about what I wanted on my pizza when I got home from my chemo disconnect. I don't want to think of greasy pepperoni right now thank you. My fault for not eating all day to be fair.

youtu.be

Sylvester drinks some Seasick Remedy

YouTube video by Dfroggy20

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

I don't know how those 70 year olds are handling their cancer and chemo better than me. I'm 30 years younger and I'm STRUGGLING, and it's only been 2 doses of chemo. People need to stop being tough and start being honest. This shit is really hard.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 09/02/2026

I'd rather be seen as mean than kind with no boundaries.

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Reposted by Madretailmonkey

🇨🇦 👊🇨🇦 @sorry-iamcanadian.bsky.social · 07/02/2026

Canada is having ‘a moment’. Everyone loves someone who stands up to a bully. #Canada #2026Olympics

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 07/02/2026

Had the thought that I'm gonna treat myself to a nice breakfast. Head to the kitchen to put some water on for my poached eggs. Look at the eggs on the counter...... Stomach's like "yeah I think the fuck not. How about you grab the saltines and we go put our ass back into bed?"

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

Nurse: Just colon cancer? Me: Well it's decided to taste my liver and so it's both. Nurse: Did you just say taste? Me: Yeah I mean it kinda did. 🤷‍♀️ Nurse: *starts laughing and stops immediately* Im sorry its not funny. Me: Its ok. I've been finding the humor in it. Some of its funny.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

My 55 year old ex husband blocked me on Facebook. I don't even use Facebook. I will spend the rest of my day ripping on him for being a teenage girl. Gonna ask him if he's got me in his burn book.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

I learned today I enjoy going to the hospital. I was there for 7 hours for treatment because of a mix up and I didn't care. Its the most under-stimulating place on the planet.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 29/01/2026

My kid cracks off a joke so insultingly funny my only response was "You better go while I'm still laughing." And she kind of sat laughing with me and I was like "no im serious. I might be mad when I stop laughing. Get moving." I would have been justified but I didn't get mad. Kids MEAN!

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

I bought some new T-shirts for work and now instead I get to wear "live laugh toaster bath" and this to chemo and oncologist apts.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 27/01/2026

My 16 year old told me when I left to go to the hospital "have em drill you a new butthole." I came home with a colostomy bag.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 26/01/2026

I put 8 out of 10 on how good my mood was when I went to get my cancer scan results. I bet that poor Dr was nervous to come tell me what I already knew.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 25/01/2026

It's so incredibly freeing to potentially know your cause of death.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 18/01/2026

I would tell you basically anything about myself but my poop/fart habits were private. I don't care how comfortable I was. I wasn't farting in front of you on purpose. On New Year's Day I got a colostomy bag. I've not shut up about it since and it's not shut up either.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

I've been sick so I've spent the last week watching American politics like it's a telenovela. It is so absurd and ridiculous. And absurdism is high comedy to me.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

So in conclusion, thank you for making such a delicious product that I went full goblin pig mode ate far too much of it at once it landed me in the hospital which got me a diagnosis on my potential cancer so much faster.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

If I hadn't eaten two cans of your delicious, buttery sugary cashew popcorn and upset my gallbladder so bad, I never would have found out as fast as I did. Eventually I would have eaten something fatty and did this. But this really really got me going.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

I also don't have a gallbladder and I shouldn't be doing this. Anyhow, as expected I got horrible pains in my belly. They were so bad. I went to the hospital thinking I had appendicitis. Turns out, nope, it's not appendicitis. It's more than likely colon cancer.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

@conagrabrands.bsky.social I was able to pick up five cans of poppycock on clearance after Christmas. My plan was to eat as much as I wanted the first little bit and then I would put the rest away for later in the year. Well I ate two cans over the course of 4 days.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

Well I spent another Christmas with them.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 13/10/2025

Dear customers: I do not care that you have money in your account and you can't understand why your debit card's not working. I'm not judging you. Do you really think I want to go back to organizing funko pops? Fuck no. Also I don't really have anywhere to be because I'm already standing in work.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 13/09/2025

How can democrats be soft blue haired sissy pussies who melt down over pronouns but also cold blooded snipers that can peg a man in the neck from 200 feet away?

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