iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I always feel bad when I tell people I have cancer and they go oh I'm sorry to hear this in a sad tone. I don't want them to feel bad or sorry for me. I got dealt a shit hand and I'm dealing with it. All there is to it. I have days where I feel sorry for myself enough so strangers don't need to.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I was saying goodnight to my daughter and I always add in I love you. She never usually says it back bc she knows I know. She said it first and I've been crying for days over it. It was so nice to hear especially cause I've been feeling really low lately.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

I listened to my mom and took a particular route to the grocery store. She said LOTS of shade. Behold the only shade I'd found.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

I cracked open a pop shoppe root beer as a goodbye at chemo. Cause it will taste like medicine for a bit. This woman looked at me alarmed. Settle down lady I have problems for sure but I'm not at crack a beer at chemo type of gal. Had to turn the label to the front.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

I HATE when people tell me to stay strong. Bitch Im working through shit that your weak ass couldn't possibly fathom. I've been/am strong. Stick your platitudes up your ass and leave me alone if this is all you offer.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

All the Americans complaining about the wildfire smoke is like the fart calling the turd stinky.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

For me one of the worst things about cancer is the lack of bodily autonomy. "Oh I have to have a line in my arm 24/7 and its gonna itch so bad im gonna want to yank my arm off? Cool!" And I know its this or the grave but its exhausting.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

I have to drink more BUT my tastebuds are all fucked up. Me: ughhhh this shit tastes like Dasani. Son: I like Dasani. Me: I have no son. Get out!!

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

Took a big sip of peach seltzer water was like "Goddamn chemo ruins everything!! This tastes HORRIBLE!!" *Look at the bottle that says mandarin and orange?* Oh! Still nasty though.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

I once told a customer "if this keeps up we will be reading about ourselves in the newspaper tomorrow" It was probably my nicest most respectable square up ever.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

Me: I need more whimsy in my life. *Puts on drag queen toppers. Thank you pair eyewear for letting me be as weird as I wanna be.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

A man on a dating site said my profile had a wonderful feral energy. Ive never felt more seen.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

In my Uber today my boot squeaked on the rubber floor mat and it sounded like the world's saddest fart. I refrained from sharing that it wasn't and my butthole is only decorative right now. I instead sat there like this.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

Told my kids and my son was like "Yeah cancers not taking you out. Now a poodle off a high rise or some other weird ass accident? Absolutely. Maybe a space toilet or debris?" Lord knows there is enough out there now. Thanks Elon you dickhead.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

Fuck you cancer!! My tumours are shrinking making the last 3 months of absolutely ass worth it!

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

Stupid ex husband: Im probably gonna go home and crash out. Me: Yeah you will!! His live in gf? stole money off him and he now keeps his wallet in his trunk. I have him as Capt Trunk Wallet-Cuck the First in my contacts.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 19/03/2026

I shaved my head because my hair was less pixie more simple jack. Every time I rub my head I hear "I dreamed a dream in times gone byeee"

media.tenor.com

a close up of a woman 's face with tears running down her cheeks .

ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with tears running down her cheeks .

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 19/03/2026

Absolutely figures the drug that stops you from puking during chemo also turns off your serotonin. It was already at a trickle. Thank God for weed. Haha

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 07/03/2026

They told me that my hair won't all fall out with the chemo but it will get thin. I think I'd rather it all fall out. I went and got a pixie cut and I look like simple Jack now. Everyone tells me that the loss isn't that noticeable. Yeah well that's lovely to hear. I've noticed it a lot.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 07/03/2026

Why do people eat garbage and then act surprised it's not good for you? Pop tarts have petroleum in em? Least shocking news Ive ever heard. It's like eating a battery a day and then being shocked when told it's not good for you to do that.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 05/03/2026

I was discussing the weather/winter with the cancer assistance driver Me: I never found out how cold it was. I thinking how much I hated working Jan and Feb in dec. Well found this out on December 31st. Guess I REALLY didn't want to work. Driver: awkward chuckle Me: silent the rest of the way home

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

Literally me today when my mom was talking to me about what I wanted on my pizza when I got home from my chemo disconnect. I don't want to think of greasy pepperoni right now thank you. My fault for not eating all day to be fair.

youtu.be

Sylvester drinks some Seasick Remedy

YouTube video by Dfroggy20

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

I don't know how those 70 year olds are handling their cancer and chemo better than me. I'm 30 years younger and I'm STRUGGLING, and it's only been 2 doses of chemo. People need to stop being tough and start being honest. This shit is really hard.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 09/02/2026

I'd rather be seen as mean than kind with no boundaries.

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Reposted by Madretailmonkey

🇨🇦 👊🇨🇦 @sorry-iamcanadian.bsky.social · 07/02/2026

Canada is having ‘a moment’. Everyone loves someone who stands up to a bully. #Canada #2026Olympics

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 07/02/2026

Had the thought that I'm gonna treat myself to a nice breakfast. Head to the kitchen to put some water on for my poached eggs. Look at the eggs on the counter...... Stomach's like "yeah I think the fuck not. How about you grab the saltines and we go put our ass back into bed?"

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

Nurse: Just colon cancer? Me: Well it's decided to taste my liver and so it's both. Nurse: Did you just say taste? Me: Yeah I mean it kinda did. 🤷‍♀️ Nurse: *starts laughing and stops immediately* Im sorry its not funny. Me: Its ok. I've been finding the humor in it. Some of its funny.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

My 55 year old ex husband blocked me on Facebook. I don't even use Facebook. I will spend the rest of my day ripping on him for being a teenage girl. Gonna ask him if he's got me in his burn book.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

I learned today I enjoy going to the hospital. I was there for 7 hours for treatment because of a mix up and I didn't care. Its the most under-stimulating place on the planet.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 29/01/2026

My kid cracks off a joke so insultingly funny my only response was "You better go while I'm still laughing." And she kind of sat laughing with me and I was like "no im serious. I might be mad when I stop laughing. Get moving." I would have been justified but I didn't get mad. Kids MEAN!

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

I bought some new T-shirts for work and now instead I get to wear "live laugh toaster bath" and this to chemo and oncologist apts.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 27/01/2026

My 16 year old told me when I left to go to the hospital "have em drill you a new butthole." I came home with a colostomy bag.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 26/01/2026

I put 8 out of 10 on how good my mood was when I went to get my cancer scan results. I bet that poor Dr was nervous to come tell me what I already knew.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 25/01/2026

It's so incredibly freeing to potentially know your cause of death.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 18/01/2026

I would tell you basically anything about myself but my poop/fart habits were private. I don't care how comfortable I was. I wasn't farting in front of you on purpose. On New Year's Day I got a colostomy bag. I've not shut up about it since and it's not shut up either.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

I've been sick so I've spent the last week watching American politics like it's a telenovela. It is so absurd and ridiculous. And absurdism is high comedy to me.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

@conagrabrands.bsky.social I was able to pick up five cans of poppycock on clearance after Christmas. My plan was to eat as much as I wanted the first little bit and then I would put the rest away for later in the year. Well I ate two cans over the course of 4 days.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

Well I spent another Christmas with them.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 13/10/2025

Dear customers: I do not care that you have money in your account and you can't understand why your debit card's not working. I'm not judging you. Do you really think I want to go back to organizing funko pops? Fuck no. Also I don't really have anywhere to be because I'm already standing in work.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 13/09/2025

How can democrats be soft blue haired sissy pussies who melt down over pronouns but also cold blooded snipers that can peg a man in the neck from 200 feet away?

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 13/09/2025

Trump's been flirting with civil war and who'd have thought when it came it would be within his own party.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 06/09/2025

I bought the first pair of shorts I've owned in at least 30 years. INSTANTLY we get rocketed into fall. The universe was like NOPE don't need to see those knees thank you very much. You're welcome everybody who also hated the heat.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 30/08/2025

I thought it was only boomers who were useless but turns out anyone retired is just as useless. ITS NOT MY FAULT YOU SAW PICKUP IN STORE AND IT MEANT IN 3 DAYS. Your lack of intelligence and reading comprehension isn't my problem. Why the fuck would I carry mp3 players in 2025 you caveman.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 07/07/2025

Kid: why aren't you asleep yet? Me: I guess since I'm not as depressed I don't need to sleep as much. Seems like it's anxiety's turn to run the meat machine. Can't really sleep when the world is on fire And everything is ahhhhhh!!

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 24/06/2025

Customer: BUT the website said you have this *Insert random bullshit I saw on the website* Me: Well my shelves say we don't. So......

media.tenor.com

a man in a white shirt and tie is eating a piece of food

ALT: a man in a white shirt and tie is eating a piece of food

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

It's a real shame that I hate people and parties bc my Irish goodbye with customers is perfect.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 19/02/2025

There are few things more humbling than seeing your face in the blank loading of your switch while waiting for the game to start.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 02/02/2025

Customer: I need printer ink. Me: ok what cartridge? Customer: I took a picture of my printer. I bought it here. Me: What? Customer *stares at me* Me: Cool. Let me google that for you.

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Madretailmonkey @madretailpanda.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

Its truly insulting when other broke asses say to me "hey I'll give you 20 bucks if you can do this for me." WOW!!! I can lose my job but I'm gonna make a whole 20 dollars!! Gee thanks mister!!

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