iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

I run to be free get trapped in escape get trapped in escape get trapped in escape get trapped in exn

🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

Get me out of here get me out of here get me out of here im losing my mind my light will die here Get me out of here get me out of here get me out of here im losing my mind my light will die here Get me out of here get me out of here get me out of here im losing my mind my light will die here

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a close up of a person 's eye with a black circle in it

ALT: a close up of a person 's eye with a black circle in it

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

I hate my brain hate that I was born weird why cant I just be me n free I hate this existence I wanna be fully me i hate bein split I hate it n its all my past stupid abusers faults they ruin3d my light tainted me and all those fucking wrong prescribed drugs My youth n my light were tainted !!

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a man in handcuffs is covering his face with his hands while sitting on a checkered floor .

ALT: a man in handcuffs is covering his face with his hands while sitting on a checkered floor .

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

Who fucking cares im over it Whatever Me a captain? What a pathetic dream Im pathetic Im not im bot um not

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

Im not allowed to actually be weak Im so fucking sick of people telling me im safe to When im weak, when im truly emotional, I become too much Dont you dare fucking tell me that im not, everyone keeps lying Or proj3xts on me uses me or makes ir about them Idk ifk idkci kdkc

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

I do it for kid me but I still see the rest of me as such a sin Im awful I dont deserve to be the light im a fraud Idk idim so lonely No one truly gets me even when ive tried Everything is always about everyone else Just gotta act the fool, act good Im the strongest afterall

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

My mental state is so shattered as it processes so much trauma Im just tired of carrying so much different cloth and so much psychosis and so much And ill never have true love I guess I was too selfish to want that, im a monster mistake afterall I dont deserve anything amazing

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

Im tired I wanna die but I wanna live Whatever who cares No people do care and irs lovely but also sucks Idk i feel invisible in things that matter to me besides this Im glad I have people who care for me but also I miss being not care for so It was easier to quit I know I dont mean that idk

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

I wanna be free I miss having a car, I miss freedom, I miss not living with people so not cut from my cloth I miss being more free Bjt ive never known true freedom Im tired of being dependent on draining people

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

Im tired whats the point ill always be too much, im a pathetic monster and I ran away from it for so long But even that I could push thru w hopes But then that on top of living in a home that isnt my home again Im tired im tired im tired

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

And in my hearts intrusive ridden thoughts, I wanna die screams again I know I won't Even when I used to actively wanna, I couldnt id fail no matter how hard I tried Universe loves me too much For that im grateful

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

My romantic grief is growing im tired

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

Ive given it leeway multiple times over n over for years from diff people and time after time, they rarely actually grow from it

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

Im tired of people with rejection sensitive disorder Its used as a escape too much by everyone ive encountered with it When will you take self accountability? Coming from someone with lots of disabilities n trauma

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

I hate millenial Tumblr type terms like heccin, booper, doggo- idk

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 09/12/2025

Generally tho I am genuinely alot happier and at peace but its really just romantic grief left but more so last shit at my ex revived month back im healin and ready to be taken again but w the right person I know my emperor is near

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 18/11/2025

Why was it ever my fault that the universe loved me and didn't like you?

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 15/11/2025

Idc anymore what you made me feel about myself or my past I always deserved better than you.

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 15/11/2025

I hate you so much for making me waste more lonely sorrow and tears on you, wasting more of my heart on you, more trust I hate you for making my nervous system triggered like this, I hate you for making me feel like emotionally vomiting

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 13/11/2025

Lowkey wanna hardcore mode grind the half rest of this manga chapter just to be petty Since today's my ex wives birthday N she hurt me as an ex art partner this week, fuckin me over again but a bitch devours n prevails IVE PLAYED THESE GAMES BEFOREE !!!

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 12/11/2025

I have such a huge yearning calling in my soul when it comes to whoever my soulmate is, like im meant to cradle his head in my lap and stroke his hair softly I think he needs that alot and doesnt get it

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 11/11/2025

Imagine the universe not fucking with you, couldnt be me, im its favorite xP Even hecate made effort to reach out to me and say you deserve karma DAWGGG I didnt even wanna put you on that bad level but guess the divine sees all n more than me PFF

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 10/11/2025

Shits crazy - I dont think ive known MORE of a lowkey selfish ass person How i once loved you more than anything, fuck if I know and ive known some selfish ass people All I know is I always deserved better too

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 09/11/2025

Dealing with pushed on me.sudden creator grief by humor again OKAY BUT FINALLY I DONT HAVE TO FUXKING THINK BOUT ANOTHERS TASTE CREATING THAT I DONT VIBE WITH AS MUCH AS OG DAYSSS WHORE OUT TIME jkjk unless

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 09/11/2025

I realize I always relapse into stress n ptsd ocd habits because of you

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 09/11/2025

All I want is to be the strongest with someone and not alone. And i will have that soon one day, but ONLY with the best I know I deserve now. I will NEVER let anyone hurt me like this, disrespect me like this again.

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 09/11/2025

So ill devour the concept and past with you, taking back the power and light i blessed you with. Taking it back as mine and using it for ME. Youll be nothing left in the dark but a empty plate. You broke my heart for the last time.

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 09/11/2025

Ill never forget this. Im never creating with you again. No wonder hecate came to me to warn me to embrace being a vengeful force of nature being when the time comes. The divine does not smile in your favor.

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 09/11/2025

You were such a fucking liar before when we rekindled You havent changed. But I have, thank you fer reminding me that. Im so sorry to Barry/Berry, you deserved better than her too.

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 07/11/2025

Need a man who loves to take care of me and doesnt fucking guilt trip me bout it, need a man who owns up all his OWN choices even if they blow up, need a man who can actually understands me!!, need a man who never let's pride swallow his humility, need a man to hold me against his bara tits thanks

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 07/11/2025

Need a man who can keep up with me, need a man who protects my intense light and adds to it, need a man who acts like a fucking adult, need a man whos strong inside n out, need a man who matches my freak, need a man who makes me feel safe, need a man who I can tell everything to n not anyone else-

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 07/11/2025

Anyways its just crazy cus I had to throw away alot when I was peak grieving n narrowed it down to 5-6 boxes like, shes lucky I even managed to do that back when I felt like death Im glad im where im at now like she had all year for this dude, dont whine to me now that you tryna move, just do it

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 07/11/2025

Its why I spare my energy more n more, im tired of solicited kindness that I feel like entitled to pay back when im JUST HERE There is such thing as toxic acts of service too dawg, reflect on yourself

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 07/11/2025

Like you had all year to send my boxes post divorce move??? Im the one being sweet n so fucling patient without most my shit intro had to replace by now like- I swear everyone only sees their solicited sweet "acts of kindness" and not how that can still be a burden later

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 07/11/2025

Not to mention how much I realize she lovebombs even platonically w/ acts of service which are sweet gestures n its sweet if it stays that way but she has a habit unconciously (I hope) of making it also my problem later if stuff between us ever hits a rock Like relations aren't always bright dawg

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 07/11/2025

I like my ex wife as a artist friend n even friend most times But omg sometimes shes so tiring and im glad my rose tinted goggles are gone And I know what i dont need to apologize for like- alot she does to herself dawg idk fuck u want from me rn

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 07/11/2025

My heart aches so painfully, i dont wanna be alone anymore romantically

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 07/11/2025

Universe, im so grateful for all you bless me with and I love my dreams But oh my god, I am dwindling in my yearning grief for my soulmate Its growing even when I try to blind myself with my fires light, I dont wanna do this far without him im sorry

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

I just wish I had someone who gave me space to fill I miss romance I desire it more than anything I dont wanna be alone anymore I can be im strong But I feel like half my soul is missing Please find me like you promised already Im so tired

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

And the stars know im trying my best, working my ass off constantly growing n learning n taking Ls I wanna be a good person But why Why must my heart be treated still so selfishly by everyone !?!

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

I hate bpd too I hate that 27 fucking years of abuse and now im so aversed to the things I desperately want Like some fucking curse Its not fair I wanna be angry at someone, others It was easier that way but rn I got no one to blame that isnt meant to be left in past already

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

I feel so alone despite having good friends n okay reconnected family But even then the oerson i am judt doesnt feel comfy with anyone from my past anymore I hate it Im so selfish Im so jaded I dont deserve long term friends or romance anymore even tho its what I selfishly wish for still

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

I talk a bright game but im filthy im filthy and so ugly with so many scars Even post rebirth I try eveything I can for this once corpse body that reached its limit Im here doing my best for that kid mes tears and dead mes last wishes But im scared too, why cant I be scared !?

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

Its like part of me disconnected and pure ocd took advantage of that and like makes me feel like i resentfully hate everyone around me and cant stand them I hate this ptsd n pure ocd filled aversion to people that keeps building I wanna be connected n free and warm and the brightest light

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

Maybe its because my core is still soft, too soft This world is so cruel and yet I dream to help it but part of me resents that- maybe its teen me idk idk I dont wanna be mean tho I hate mean disgusting people But I feel so much of my past lifetime of abusers gunk in me reflecting out to others

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

Its not fair I dont wanna hafta be tougher or more protective of myself I wanna be free, I wanna be vulnerable and delicate and pure But I cant alone Where are you to be my divine masculine so I can feel safe in my divine femininity again I dont wanna hold up a shield anymore but maybe-

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

Idk if im good or bad anymore It sucks seeing such sweet characters that used to be me, that should be me !! My core of all my personality disorders cries for it But I also feel a anger at the people n world that ripped that purity from me Yet I still fight with hope n Light desperately

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

Why do I keep being around ppl who hurt my heart Ive been battling with if ive lost my kind pure heart core I used to be too full off post my death rebirth Inside me is terrified that im too disconnected to others feelings now But the few times I open again im disrespected n hurt without intent.

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

Hoping my new weed pills come in soon cus baby could really use a long overdue sedation night Just a micro dose of drugs like weed n benadryl could do me wonders Like my guilty little resets, better than me derailing back into psychosis so yanno Tldr: im melancholic again lately wanna drug night

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🪼Starry🪼 @lovesickstar.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

My ma seriously irritates me sometimes tryin to talk to her, shes fr a airhead n im a patient person with processing issues but omg I repeat myself like 5 fucking times for one reply that cant be simplified anymore but shes screwed by her selfish driven thoughts usually even when its something nice

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