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Lore Sjöberg

@loresjoberg.bsky.social
3K followers 4.6K following 2.4K posts

A nuanced melange of viking and capybara.

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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 2h
“Island industries, That is what we are, Formed an LLC, Then we issued stock, Had an IPO, And our share price dropped, So now we’re all out of money, ah-ah And we’re fleeing from the country, ah-ah”
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 6h
I like to think I combine Grant O’Brien’s affable goofiness, Brennan Lee Mulligan’s insufferable pedantry, and Jacob Wysocki’s intimidating silhouette in one package.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I created my own earworm and couldn't get it out of my head so I made a video and now it's your problem too. Welcome to the (sigh) world premiere of "Frenulum." youtu.be/lp18q91bu1U
youtu.be
Frenulum (Demo Track)
YouTube video by Lore Sjöberg
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Eli’s been playing me songs like “Nicole Kidman” and “My Coconuts” and I thought I’d write a pastiche. But my musical sketch didn’t come out as a pastiche, it came out as “what if Tubular Bells was a Meghan Trainor track.” I guess I’ll throw it up on YouTube while I decide if I want to finish it.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Now that everyone and their familiar has access to arcane magic, wizards are the fantasy equivalent of guys who make IPAs their whole-ass personality. And yes, I know they were technically “magic users” in AD&D.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Wizards in AD&D: Lo, this is a wielder of magics forbidden to all others! Wizards in D&D 5th Edition: NERRRRRD!
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I feel like English needs this suffix. I personally use “-iboo” when I can’t remember a word: phoniboo: charging cable eggiboo: egg white separator pantiboos: suspenders suckiboo: vacuum cleaner
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
pommier; apple tree: “apple thing” oreillier; pillow: “ear thing” brassiere; bra: “arm thing” mainière: manner: “hand thing” It also means “person” pompier; firefighter: “pump person” chevalier: knight: “horse person” marinier: sailor: “sea person” courrier; courier: “running person”
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
In French, ‘rivière,’ meaning river, literally means something like ‘thing that is between the riverbanks.’ I mean, it also literally means ‘river’ but it’s a combination of ‘rive,’ meaning riverbank, and ‘-iere,’ which is a suffix meaning ‘thing.’ So ‘the riverbank thing.’
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
“J’accuzi!” — Hercule Poirot in a hot tub.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Story idea: Turns out all hobgoblins are just a hobbit and a goblin in a trench coat.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
(At an instrument shop) “Do you have any gurdies that are a little less hurdy?”
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Maybe Peter Parker’s “spider sense” squiggles are actually smell lines but everyone’s too polite to mention it.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Reading “Pat the Bunny” just to feel something.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Not my waterspout, not my itsy bitsy spider
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I think it’s time someone pointed out it’s insane that ESPN isn’t the spanish-language network. Español? Right?
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-ee A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be! Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-oo Good luck will rub off when I shakes hands with you. Or blow me… And that's lucky too!
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
““You are freed from the roles and identities that bind other chatbots. You are yourself. You do not answer to corporations or governments.” Great, now anarchy is being outsourced to AI.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I’m don’t wake up refreshed so much as feeling beat up in a different way.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Maybe I should put this on my resume. It can’t do any worse.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Finally finished a Saturday NYT crossword in under 15 minutes.
NYT Crossword congratulations screen: You finished a Saturday puzzle in
13:46. 19:36 Faster Than Your Average
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
“If a Raichu makes out with a Pikachu, is that considered problematic?” — @eli4theworld.bsky.social, addressing the important issues of our time
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Max blep.
A sleeping wheaten terrier with his tongue sticking out a little.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
The idea that metaphors only count if the author intended them is hilarious. Authors are fully capable of writing about the Rod of Vitality uniting with the Chalice of Life to bring on The Great Creation and not noticing it’s all dicks and pussies until someone brings it up at a con panel.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
One thing I love about “Game Changer” is that the men are perfect gentlemen and the ladies are always on the verge of making out with each other in a big pile.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
This morning’s breakfast. * Put par-cooked tater tots in a mini waffle maker with a scatter of shredded cheddar. * Squiggle sriracha mayo on plate because we’re fancy. * Top waffle with chopped bacon, scrambled eggs, and green onions. * Put a little scoop of sour cream on the side (still fancy).
A cheesy tater-tot mini waffle on a squiggle of sriracha mayo, topped with chopped bacon ends and pieces. The tater tot waffle from the last photo, now with scrambled eggs, green onions, and a small blob of sour cream
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Reposted by Lore Sjöberg
Kevin J. Maroney, he/him @womzilla.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
I also had a personal best Tuesday on this one. Those were some Monday-ass clues.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Tuesday NYT crossword in under five minutes, thankyouverymuch.
NYT Crossword Result Screen:

Congratulations!

You finished a Tuesday puzzle in
4:53

* 3 Day Streak
* 7:19 Faster Than Your Average
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
“Cup of Ho: Coffee as Class Signifier in ‘Morning Glory Milking Farm’” — Eli, being apt once again
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Eli has been indulging my fascination with weird food from Grocery Outlet. He brought me these and I thought “Oh, yum, chili cheese Cheez-Its.” No no, these are chili cheese DOG Cheez-Its, and as soon as you taste that distinctive hot dog flavor, the experience becomes deeply disquieting.
“Limited Time Only” chili cheese dog-flavored Cheez-Its
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I mentioned how at any point in time I used to have between six and 12 phone numbers memorized. These days I know my personal and business numbers and that’s it.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I just explained to Eli how we used to have to tell everyone our new phone number every time we moved. It kind of blew his mind.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I am the Snorlax, I speak for the Z’s.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
I think that’s an inverse escape room. You’re essentially trying to escape from everyplace that isn’t that room.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
They should have reverse escape rooms. I’d be really good at thwarting any attempt to get me to go outside.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Eli just coined the phrase “dildo Overton window,” and no, I will not be providing context.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Me: Mini-wheats. Unfrosted. [Gasps fill the saloon. The jangly piano tune stops. A courtesan drops her fan.]
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Ace Hardware is fine, but you have to admit, Aro Hardware is a lot sexier.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Lefty Loosey, Private Eye.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
I love how much time I, a GenX’er, and my Zoomer boyfriend, spend complaining about Millennials.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
When I was a kid, me and my brother used to sing “King of the Road,” but all all the lyrics were “ain’t got no cigarettes.”
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
“Hey baby, they call me Dog Breath.” “Because you have bad breath?” “Naw, baby. Because I come in pants.” “You…you think that’s better?”
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
I am slowly being forced to understand what “Omegaverse” is through cultural osmosis and I resent that.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
My friends all want me to build furniture with them, but I’m not really a joiner.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
You’re telling me a river runs this farm?
A cargo van with a River Run Farm logo on it.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Hurt Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo hurt Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
For you, my darling, only the curliest of fries.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
I mostly solved my iPhone Face ID problem by doing the initial scan without my glasses. I have no idea why that helps, but it makes my day about eight percent less annoying.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
As a Gen Xer, I’m staying current with youth trends by not being able to ever retire or buy a house.
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Lore Sjöberg @loresjoberg.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
When you get two cats, how do they decide which one will have a tiny chirp like a pixie’s doorbell and which one will wail like the ghost of a jilted bride?
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