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Lauren

@lkandy.bsky.social
59 followers 171 following 162 posts
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 12/04/2025
RuPaul seeing my wedding dancing last night
Ru Paul in a gold sequinned outfit and blond wig, at the Drag Race judging table. Caption: “yes, honey, that’s mighty white of you”
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 08/03/2025
Insta ads: 30-35 year olds in London don’t realise they can get FREE solar panels!!! Me, 33 year old in London, waiting for the 4 months a year my ground floor flat gets sunlight in the living room:
Homer Simpson looking cautiously but hopefully around a door
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 12/02/2025
Did this @dimension20.bsky.social Adventuring Party moment ever become a meme template and if not, why not? #Dimension20
Ally Beardsley on a Zoom call holding up what appears to be a blank piece of paper while smiling
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 30/01/2025
THE PILES ARE BIG ENOUGH, AUSTRALIA
Australia pile the pressure on England in MCG Test
Women's CricketKhawaja stars as Aussies pile on pressure in Galle
Cricket
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 30/01/2025
Gorgug has returned to his den, saving his barks for a long walk later. He needs a sausage friend to tire him out!
The nose of a black and tan dachshund peeling out from under a duvet
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 29/01/2025
The unmitigated Galle! (Good news about the extras though)
Screenshot of day one of the Aus SL test showing Aus are 330-2. Only 2 extras.
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
Hi Stevie. Gorgug is ignoring the world, recommends.
A black and tan dachshund sleeping on a fluffy grey bed. He has a little smile and his front paws are curled up. He is wearing a yellow collar.
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 14/01/2025
Inspired by today’s threevisiting (in case you don’t dutifully listen to all of them) I hope you can take time today to watch the BBC interruption video (and that you and yours are well)
A sketched gif of the little girl and baby as they entered the bbc news interview in lockdown
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 09/01/2025
I felt like @scottygb.bsky.social when I took this photo
Tv showing BBC news - a plate of peeled bananas on a pavement. The headline says “mystery surrounds plate of bananas”
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 31/12/2024
Marge simpson saying “seems I’m full of rage”
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 16/12/2024
Gorgug did his morning poo at the base of a Neighbourhood Watch sign, then came in and started chewing his pig toy 🥲
Zac Oyama as Gorgug on Dimension 20 saying “do you have a fucking warrant?”
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
Can’t imagine them rapping but an interesting casting choice
Screenshot - picture of a cricketer and a BB headline “NZ vs England: Will O’Rourke and Mitchell Santner star in Hamilton”
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 07/12/2024
Yup, that’s me
Amazon music showing my top artists for 2024:
1 Chappell Roan
2 Phil Ochs
3 Ella Fitzgerald
4 Crowded House
5 Sufjan Stevens
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
Just gently but firmly pushed away my feet which I was trying to warm on his back, but then shortly after overheated and emerged from the covers. His determination not to allow this relationship to be symbiotic is admirable.
A coy looking black and tan dachshund on a grey blanket with closed pink curtains behind him
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 29/11/2024
God knows how my brain decides what to retain. Was this you, @mysteryontherocks.bsky.social ? If it helps I can tell you where I was listening, and that I didn’t have a dog at the time. Getting this information will do nothing other than let me stop thinking about it.
Sent WhatsApp message: Someone on a podcast, god knows who, was talking about a teen who called out to them (in an “uh oh I’m going to be bullied by this group” way) and then was just asking what year the titanic sank
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
@janiehaddad.bsky.social uh oh, you’re going to get cancelled by Degas stans. He painted too! (Also incredible episode of @threedomusa.bsky.social )
The Ballet Class by Edgar DegasL’Absinthe by Edgar Degas
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 22/11/2024
A blank page reading “this page intentionally left blank (to hold space for the lyrics of defying gravity)”
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 20/11/2024
Idea for a band name: Partridge Dictaphone
Alan Partridge lying on his back on a bed, speaking into a dictaphone
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 20/11/2024
One of those heavy duty mittens that goes on motorbike handlebars but to fit over a dog lead handle* *if this exists please don’t tell me, I need to stop buying stuff
Alan Partridge lying on his back on a bed, speaking into a dictaphone
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 19/11/2024
We object
A bed with white leaf patterned sheets and a teal headboard with a tiny black and brown paw emerging vertically from the covers as if raising a hand
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
Just arrived from eBay, looking forward to playing it after work after having Ochs songs streaming on a loop for weeks #treatyoself
LP of Phil Ochs’s album “I ain’t matching any more”The back of the record cover, reading:

And so people walk up to me and ask, "Do you really believe in what your songs are saying?"
And I have to smile and think back to the songs and the hours stolen by flickering thoughts dancing just out of my reach occasionally being drawn in by the magnet of an aroused mind.
And I think of the absurd fears that gripped me as I drove down to Mississippi last summer listening to the accounts of the freshly discovered bodies. Or I think of my car spinning wildly out of control on a Kentucky mountainside just before spending Christmas in Hazard, Kentucky.
I remember climbing up rickety ladders to the tops of speaker-trucks to sing in the cold weather at countless rallies, watching the familiar faces of frustrated radicals.
And my vanity flutters as I hear again the cheers of audiences of thousands applauding an entertainer, or perhaps applauding the slim hope that all is not phony.
And I force myself to wonder that perhaps I am as phony as the world I criticize and that I am the greatest fool of all. I realize that I can't feel any nobility for what I write because I know my life could never be as moral as my songs.
I know I'm sticking my neck out and I know I'll be attacked. I remember the attacks of the reactionaries and I have to laugh; I remember the attacks of those I came to respect and the hurt is still there.
I wonder if I'll be investigated and whatI could say to a Congress consisting of too many spineless men for whom I could hold nothing but contempt.

(Character limit - fuller text available online)
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
Perfect. You’re not far off - the logo had a Pilsbury Doughboy vibe. Bill Bailey had a great joke that Little Chefs were built many years ago on ley-lines then the roads came along and joined them all up.
Little chef logo - a red circle with a white cartoon chef on it. He has a round face and big smile, a chef hat and jacket, and his arms are stretched out wide. The text below says “little chef”
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 16/11/2024
Call him Michael Stipe the way he’s always in REM
A black and tan dachshund lying on his back on a fluffy grey bed. He has a yellow collar. His front paws are brown with a black spot on each and are hanging up in the air. He has a shiny black nose. His neck is at an angle that looks very uncomfortable but his expression is one of extreme comfort
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 16/11/2024
Scratching two specific itches: - drag queens with a big height difference standing next to each other - drag queens in silly campy outfits looking serious #dragracedownunder
Drag race down under image: Brenda Bressed as Bubble O Bill and Lucina Innocence as a stack of pancakes. Brenda is up to Lucina’s shoulder including wig and hat. They are both looking sad and respectful.
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 16/11/2024
There’s a #birds feed on here! Delightful! So here’s one of my favourite poems.
Bird-Understander
BY CRAIG ARNOLD
Of many reasons I love you here is one
the way you write me from the gate at the airport so I can tell you everything will be alright
so you can tell me there is a bird trapped in the terminal all the people ignoring it because they do not know what to do with it except to leave it alone until it scares itself to death
it makes you terribly terribly sad
You wish you could take the bird outside and set it free or (failing that) call a bird-understander to come help the bird
All you can do is notice the bird and feel for the bird and write to tell me how language feels impossibly useless
but you are wrong
You are a bird-understander better than I could ever be who make so many noises and call them song
These are your own words your way of noticing and saying plainly of not turning away from hurt
you have offered them
to me
I am only
giving them back
if only I could show you how very useless they are not
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
The audience for my joke has gone into his Didion zoom (?) so Bluesky can have it while I watch the cricket
A WhatsApp conversation - one person says “Didion time here” and the other responds with a link to Willie Williams’s Armagideon Time with the caption “they’re going to guide you with their oration, it’s time for Didion”
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
Every single one of these leaves has been kissed by my dog’s urine #fallvibes #autumnal #cosycore
A riverside path covered in fallen brown leaves
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
Or whatever the heck this was
A tweet advertising “Easter ham from Ireland”
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
TWO OF THEM
A little black dachshund with a harness that says “hot dog” sniffing at a plush toy dachshund keyring
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
*Obsessive NYT crossworder twitch*
The word “snit” on a page
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
Me @ the NYT every Sunday:
Brennan Lee Mulligan on Make Some Noise looking horny and saying “please don’t fuck me up with those big broadswords, mmm” but edited to read “big crosswords”
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Lauren @lkandy.bsky.social · 13/11/2024
Two posts in and I already regret the precedent I’ve set for my tone on here. Anyway here’s a little dog not picking apples.
A very small black dachshund with a yellow collar holding a dainty paw up. There is an apple in front of him.
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