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Lawrence Miles

@lawrence-miles.bsky.social
515 followers 12 following 933 posts

That's nothing, there was a guy in here yesterday with a chicken.

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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
"AI is the future!" The cry of people so conditioned by tech-consumerism that they've forgotten how horrific most imagined futures are. I remember '80s survivalists filling bunkers with guns and baked beans because "nuclear holocaust is inevitable". If a future is shit, you're allowed to resist it.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
To someone my age, the sentence "Fortnite adds Five Nights at Freddy's" is like hearing that one of the neighbourhood twelve-year-olds has taught the toddler next door how to draw pictures on the walls using their own excrement.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Toy idea: a range of robots that have replaceable body-parts, with blind booster packs of limbs, heads, and weapons. They'll be called "Bolt-On Wanderers" and nobody outside the UK will know why it's funny.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Not since "Breakfast at Tiffany's" have I seen cats looking so cheesed off.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Ahhh, yes, but when is Bi INvisibility day? Seems pretty intolerant for you supposed "wokes" to focus only on bisexualists who reflect light in the 400-800 terahertz range. #Science
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
[Mark E. Smith voice.]
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Servalan origin story. www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3T0...
youtube.com
F&F AW26 Style It Out | The Entrance
YouTube video by Tesco
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Are there Furries in the "His Dark Materials" world? Because presumably they'd dress up as their daemons, which implies their daemons would dress up as tiny humans.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Pope Leo XIV gives his blessing to the new Quality Street.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Actually it's for the best that COVID delayed the 2020 Olympics until 2021, because it gave them time to finish the plexiglass moon-dome. (From "The Usborne Book of the Future", 1979.)
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I am not complicit, I am a free man! [Sound of a billionaire's mocking laughter.]
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Based on Mario / Wario logic, "Piddington" is an evil racist bear from darkest Peru.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Had no idea that Human Bait Guy from "Babylon 5" was a larval-stage Bryan Cranston. Rest in peace, you 41-year-old child soldier. #UKb5watch
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Okay, I've got it. You know how the people who voted for Brexit hate Europe, but have no problem being controlled by a North American country? What we do is, we make the UK part of Canada. Then we get Canada to join the EU. Everybody's happy.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
#BayeuxTapestry
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
In the "Columbo" universe, there's a whole wing of San Quentin specifically for mystery writers, publishers, TV producers, and actors. Every year they put on a play, and the cop character is always an incompetent one-eyed Italian who just gets lucky. #Palombo
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
It's 25 years to the day since Channel 4 (UK) pulled "Friends" from the schedule because they were worried about showing anything set in New York, but replaced it with "Futurama", which is also set in New York and features a vehicle flying into a building at the start of every episode.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
It's one year to the day since the first time I heard the name "Charlie Kirk".
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
BRITISH PEOPLE! EVERYTHING'S OKAY, IT'S FINALLY GONE COLD AGAIN!
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I sort of like the way that Gillian Anderson now appears out of nowhere seemingly at random. Playing Thatcher? Up for it. "Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma"? Why not. Narrating anime about Scandinavian bandits? Hai hai, självklart. Advert for Lego...? www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhHK...
youtube.com
Gillian Anderson reopens the X-Files | LEGO® Ideas | The LEGO Group
YouTube video by The LEGO Group
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
1973: The Vauxhall "Griffin" ad campaign. 1974: "Penda's Fen". CO-INCIDENCE? #BBC4 #PendasFen
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
The headline is already funny, but the picture looks like a TARDIS crash. www.latimes.com/california/s...
latimes.com
Malibu residents evacuate after massive, expanding sinkhole opens at Nicolas Cage's house
Evacuation orders were issued for 31 Malibu homes due to a massive and expanding sinkhole in the driveway of Nicolas Cage's property.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Today I opened a new packet of medication and got the end of the box that *didn't* have the information sheet in the way.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
"Watership Down" is a High Fantasy novel. This is a hill I'm prepared to die on.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
They say one definition of madness is repeatedly doing the same thing and expecting different results. But modern computer tech *demands* you think that way. Keep clicking the icon, maybe it'll work, maybe it'll crash, maybe it'll show you a picture of a bonobo, who knows? We're all mad now.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Still don't know how they get that Sandcrawler into the Royal Albert Hall. #BBC
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
oh my god
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
- This American football player has the most time-traveller name I've ever seen. - This isn't a mistake. It's his given name. - You're thinking "typical American", but he's English by birth. - You can *absolutely* imagine the thought process that led Mr and Mrs Factor to make this decision.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
The more you think about this, the odder it seems. We imagine nature as essentially "green", but the green part of the spectrum is the part that plants can't absorb efficiently. The last thing they want is greenness; they look that way to us because green makes them choke.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Thought for the day: we see an object as having a colour because when light hits it, it absorbs all the colours *except* the one we see, which is reflected away. So when we say "the tomato is red", what we really mean is "the tomato HATES red". Everything secretly resents the colour we think it is.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Mrs Columbo is actually his TARDIS.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
I was a-couple-of-months-ago years old when I found out that despite being a top ten hit in America and a number one in Canada, Thomas Dolby's "She Blinded Me with Science" didn't even get into the Top 40 in the UK. WE WERE THE ONLY ONES WHO KNEW WHO MAGNUS PYKE WAS, WHAT THE HELL? #totp
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
We now know everything we need to know about the people who run Amazon. Therefore we can safely destroy the originals.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Freeview 41 has reached the episode of "Babylon 5" where G'kar has a vision of G'Lan, who's essentially the Narn equivalent of an Islamic prophet. And it's Jim Norton again. Bishop Brennan from "Father Ted" is the alien Muhammad. #DownWithThisSortOfThing #CarefulNow
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
My favourite part of "The Odyssey" is when Odysseus tells the cyclops that his name is Justthedrugs.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
"Minister for AI" is startling because it's a rare case of the Demonstrably Evil Thing getting the official title. Imagine a Minister for Diseases instead of Health, Illiteracy instead of Education, Propaganda instead of Culture, Euthanasia instead of Pensions, Russian Oligarchs instead of Housing -
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Must be a strange life, working as an actor who's cast for their body-type. In 1972-3, Dave Prowse was in both "Doctor Who" and "The Tomorrow People", but did a Russ Meyer sexploitation movie between the two. Surely only dwarf gangster / Oompa-Loompa / baby gorilla Deep Roy has a career more uneven.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
"Heated Rivalry": homoerotic drama set in the 1730s about the relationship between Daniel Fahrenheit and Anders Celsius. #TVpitch
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
The last time I talked about re-watching "Babylon 5", I called it awful. I don't really think it's awful. I just got frustrated by Season Two, especially (1) Captain Sheridan's personality, (2) Captain Sheridan's dialogue, and (3) Captain Sheridan's face. I'm still here for the alien UST. #ukb5watch
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
Yeah, I'm not going to bother with five, I've seen enough.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Never forget this: Daphne & Celeste played the Reading festival in 2000, specifically so they could be the "panto villain" act that everyone would boo. They were, as expected, bottled. AND THEN SOMEONE IN THE CROWD THREW A WHEELCHAIR AT THEM. #totp
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
"Released #OnThisDay in 1995 : Now 31." So yes... it *is* now 31.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
AI is not a victimless crime.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
When I was younger, if an event was poorly attended, I'd use the expression "there'd be more people at a Dad's Army reunion." Seems wrong now that a Dad's Army reunion would be literally empty. Thinking of changing it to Blake's 7, but leaving it ambiguous as to whether I mean actors or characters.
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
So I watched "Spider-Noir", and the fact that these two series turned up at around the same time is... interesting? As if we've decided WW1 is now the obvious battleground for superhumans. ("The Sentinels" is by far the stronger, but lacks the humour of Nic Cage playing the Sexagenarian Spider-Man.)
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
The blather about communists trying to blow up Mount Rushmore has reminded me that in the Marvel Comics version of "Planet of the Apes" (1975), there's a passage in Abraham Lincoln's nose that leads to a secret cache of alcohol and explosives. The story is called "Up the Nose-Tube to Monkey-Trash".
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Lawrence Miles @lawrence-miles.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
#didyouknow When an artist dies, their ghost can see out of the eyes of all their pictures anywhere in the world. That's why Picasso did twice as many eyes as everybody else, he was a big letchy perv. Turner's all right, he just did sad boats and things, he doesn't care what you do in your own home.
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