iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

*Astronauts meme* "Wait, it's all cave?" "Always has been."

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I just wanna exist within union between analytical detachment, empathy and compassion. It would allow me to love more fully and simultaneously let go more/worry less. I have faith I can get there and be the person I need to be, but still, this is my +7th Plato's Allegory of the Cave. Hurts.

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It sucks having eternal understanding that you have higher levels of comprehension you can exist within, but those moments are fleeting, often requiring being in an altered space to access clearly, and it's like being enlightened and then inevitably brought right back down to emotional dial-up.

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Tim Gaedke @timgaedke.com · 26/09/2026

Lamenting the life I was robbed of, the good things I've lost/ruined and the relationships I failed to be present for because of my great inaccessibility to empathize, intuit and introspect.

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Reposted by [Lavendeer]

talent is a lie

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Reposted by [Lavendeer]

Naynay's Naynays @naynaysnaynays.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

PLEASE SHARE: I'm running a fundraiser for all the storm damage Hawai'i has taken in the last month. I'm selling shirts and stickers, and all of my proceeds go directly to Kāko‘o Mai (Big Island, Maui Nui and O'ahu) and Kāko‘o Lāhui (Kaua;i and Ni'ihau). Please watch to find out how to participate!

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[Lavendeer] @lavendeer.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Sound on bsky.app/profile/lave...

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[Lavendeer] @lavendeer.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Sorry for anyone who hasn't checked my YT for a while and came back to it nearly barren. I've got a bunch of projects going on rn and some of them involve restructure on existing, finished or later video works. There'll be more stuff back on there eventually!

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[Lavendeer] @lavendeer.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Love me some Macroblank, great album if you wanna enjoy some great low-fidelity 80's lounge jazz fusion www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS-k...

youtube.com

Macroblank - ARCHANGELS

YouTube video by Macroblank

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[Lavendeer] @lavendeer.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Genuinely who tf would ask AI anything when you can just ask the moon your questions Like, she's just up there, beautiful, ready to give you all the answers you need

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[Lavendeer] @lavendeer.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Truly we all are forced to live in the godforsaken madhouse

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[Lavendeer] @lavendeer.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Many years ago Adult Swim's Moral Orel introduced this song to me and to this day it still digs deep into my being and scrambles up my inside-feelies www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ImA...

youtube.com

Valentine

YouTube video by Io Perry - Topic

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Reposted by [Lavendeer]

Creeps! @creepincrawl.com · 28/09/2026

🔥🔥🔥

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[Lavendeer] @lavendeer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Yo these are siiiiiiiiiiick B)

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[Lavendeer] @lavendeer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

If I made a discord server would any mutuals be interested in joining? It'd just be really nice to have some like-minded peoples/friends to chat with in the same space, share ideas, be less lonely.

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[Lavendeer] @lavendeer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Literally feeling all these and so much more

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Reposted by [Lavendeer]

Deerposts @deerposts.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

No does? #deer 🦌

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Btw, gonna try and build that website now, even if it's imperfect and seems futile, given everything. Whatever. Social media itself is often poisonous for me, so it'll be fun (and relieving) to have my own space for expression and interests without being bogged down by constant stressors. yeyheehee

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Things are finally changing inside...... 😌

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But I do matter, and I want to be me, even if others don't like that. I want to be beautiful, inside and out. I want to breathe life into my interests and fascinations again. I want to be absurd and happy again. And I'm gonna do these, and keep doing.

I was actually just barely above water, fatigued, actively drowning. Treading in place without knowing fully I can use my arms. My whole life, fighting, flailing. Trained to give up and believe in my heart that nothing I do matters, because I don't matter.

Anyway, point is, I don't want to be some loser or clown for the remainder of whatever time I have left on this earth. I've spent my entire existence just trying to breach the surface of the water to get a single breath in, and while I thought I was finally swimming......

Recently had what seems to be the final epiphany as well on what/who through which means specifically wounded that inner child, causing my stunted ability to navigate the world, from a mechanical breakdown-type POV. Things I sorta understood for a long while but lacked real comprehensive depth on.