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Lauren Parker

@laurenparker.bsky.social
314 followers 281 following 396 posts

I have never heard of punk music. Dark Way Down (Animal Heart Press, Feb, 2025) Spells for Success (Simon and Schuster, Jan, 2025) laureneparker.com

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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 16h
@inbedwiththeright.bsky.social might have well called me out by name in their reference to ancient spinsterly women writing fanfiction in our bustles and stays. I was there for the great Xanga Wars and we all spoke in grave whispers about the Livejournal Crusades.
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I'm researching prohibition and I'm starting to understand the temperance movement because HOW WAS EVERYONE THIS DRUNK ALL THE TIME.
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
It is time to make the offerings to the ancestors
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
“The cure is in the dose.” When Madison is involved in the disappearance of a cop, she becomes the apprentice of the witch that runs the Taco Bell. With the opioid crisis raging in rural Ohio, she has to do dark things to keep her friends alive. The Bell Witch, YA horror. #dvpit #amquerying
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Ah yes, the holiday season. Where I will be advertised for The Man Who Has Everything a series of convoluted contraptions to make alcohol more tedious
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Couldn’t remember the name so I called Warhammer “Gwar Barbies” and now I’m being lectured
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
My friends while I describe the querying process #amquerying
static.klipy.com
Alec Baldwin's 'There, There' Comfort in 30 Rock
ALT: Alec Baldwin's 'There, There' Comfort in 30 Rock
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
I'll be teaching Ancestor Work Through Poetry with @spiritusarcanum.bsky.social on 9/19. Come embrace the blend of mediumship and poetry. There will be writing time and an optional poetry reading. Beginners are more than welcome! Tickets: spiritusarcanum.com/products/anc...
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
I'll be teaching Ancestor Work Through Poetry with @spiritusarcanum.bsky.social on 9/19. Come embrace the blend of mediumship and poetry. There will be writing time and an optional poetry reading. Beginners are more than welcome! Tickets: spiritusarcanum.com/products/anc...
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
I believe everyone deserves food, healthcare, housing, and that everyone must identify a bicycle 9 times to use reply all.
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
HEY GRASS VALLEY! I'm teaching a class on spellwork on October 3rd at The Cauldron, and I'd love to see you. Get your tickets here: www.thecauldron.love/events-2-1/6...
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Witchy season is upon up! Spells for Success is a deck of spells and instructions on how to make magic for yourself and your community. I’m really proud of this deck and I’ll be signing copies at Innisfree Books in Meredith, NH in October.
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
In honor of Labor Day, the witch as a worker
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina x Starling House Madison Stewart didn’t expect to become the apprentice of the witch that runs the Taco Bell. But when the housing crisis & opioids shatter Ohio, Madison has to do dark things to keep her friends alive & out of jail. #questpit #amquerying #YA #Horror
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
In honor of Labor Day, the witch as a worker
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Witchy season is upon up! Spells for Success is a deck of spells and instructions on how to make magic for yourself and your community. I’m really proud of this deck and I’ll be signing copies at Innisfree Books in Meredith, NH in October.
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
I’m working what I’m calling My Chaos Book. This book I’m writing to stay sane by making it not sane. Small town cozy monster? Sure! Autumn vibes? Absolutely. Disappearing rich guys? You betcha! Surprise random ghost of possible fake relative in chapter 7? Why not? This is about my giggles now.
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CrimethInc. Ex-Workers' Collective @crimethinc.com · 23/08/2026
When ICE has finished the first wave of ethnic cleansing targeting (mostly) undocumented immigrants, they will begin to abduct political dissidents and other targets of the Trump regime. Solidarity is self defense. Fight them every step of the way. crimethinc.com/escalation2026
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
One of my neighbors has a camera that shouts “you are being recorded!” whenever you walk on the sidewalk by their house so I hope they are enjoying several recordings of me shouting “Fuck off”
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
I had the honor of performing on @storyhour.bsky.social last night but my cat consistently upstaged me. Watch the show here! www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWlP...
Author Lauren Parker, a woman with pink hair, sits on a zoom show with the looming spector of her giant black cat behind her. Author Lauren Parker, a woman with pink hair, sits on a zoom show with the looming spector of her giant black cat behind her. Author Lauren Parker, a woman with pink hair, sits on a zoom show with the looming spector of her giant black cat behind her.
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Story Hour @storyhour.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
This week, two favorites return to challenge and entertain us! Lauren Parker and Wole Talabi will read their own SFF stories. Join us Wednesday at 7:00 p.m. PDT! @laurenparker.bsky.social @wtalabi.com www.storyhour2020.com
Waist-up color photo of writer Lauren Parker, a fair-skinned woman with short hair dyed bright pink. She wears a wheat-gold peasant top (or perhaps a dress?), a Y necklace and a larger one with a sickle pendant, dangling earrings, a septum ring, and snakebites. She is in what appears to be a store, posing in front of shelves full of prayer candles. She looks directly into the camera, beaming.Head-and-shoulders color photo of author Wole Talabi, a Black man with medium-brown skin, a shaved scalp, and a short black beard. He wears a black zip-up jacket. He poses in a blurred interior. With his face in three-quarters view, he looks directly into the camera, smiling enough to make a dimple in his visible cheek.
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
“You pray for rain and you wish it would stop, you hate your family and they’re all that you got.” - Steve Tannen Podunk: - folk horror - Great Lakes gothic - family drama - religious monsters - witches #amquerying
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Really excited to be signing Spells for Success at Innisfree Books in Meredith NH in October. Store purchase gets you a one card tarot reading! (Linocut flyer because AI blows)
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
“The AI will get better if we teach it!” So will people
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Tressie McMillan Cottom @tressiemcphd.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
I like this notetaking example. it is a good case of how gender works. Notetaking has never been about producing a transcript. It is a bureaucratic skill in the 20th c. organixarion because it is SENSEMAKING. Those women socialized to take notes? They have been doing men’s metacognition for them
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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 10/08/2026
Listen here, pal: this is a Megan Follows bar. You don’t come to the goddamn Avonlea Alehouse and start shit-talking Megan Fucking Follows unless you want someone to take you the fuck out." buff.ly/C6klcGj
mcsweeneys.net
Say “Megan Follows Is the Best Anne of Green Gables” or I’ll Beat the Living Shit Out of You
“Listen here, pal: this is a Megan Follows bar. You don’t come to the goddamn Avonlea Alehouse and start shit-talking Megan Fucking Follows unless you want s...
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Bartender, keep em coming
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yaoi gagarin @mel.bzky.team · 05/08/2026
me impulse ordering indian takeout when im hungry
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
“I wish you were here I’m collaging cassette covers and there are so many ugly jewelry advertisements I want to show you” - my love letters
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
How’s 37 treating me? Well I’m teaching myself ukulele and just finished reading my AAA magazine
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
A reminder that Ai flyers are dogshit. If you like poetry and libraries, come to a show at the SF Main Library on Aug 13 at 6pm #sanfrancisco #poetry
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Panic writing a paper hours before it was due was what actually taught me how to develop a thesis concept and stick to it. Don’t use AI to write your papers. Use redbull and sheer audacity.
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Catherynne M. Valente @catvalente.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Wow people just shrugged and stopped asking where tf Mitch McConnell is, didn’t they?
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
People are making those fleece no sew blankets again. You know what this means. Snuggies and their rival the Slanket will be in your Christmas stockings this year
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina x Starling House Madison Stewart didn’t expect to become the apprentice of the witch that runs the Taco Bell. But when the housing crisis & opioids shatter Ohio, Madison has to do dark things to keep her friends alive & out of jail. #questpit #amquerying #YA #Horror
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
I’ve started querying a novel and I have been an absolute no-fun guy about it. Just whining to my friends, lamenting like I’m auditioning for the school play. But this morning I finished a chapter of my new project and I’m so pumped I could kick a door down. She’s BACK, baby! #amquerying
static.klipy.com
Pudgy Penguin's Grand Entrance
ALT: Pudgy Penguin's Grand Entrance
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Today a person on the internet said “he loves doing things in nature” and the image is of a man using a leaf blower
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Today’s nonsense AI author spam "What truly stands out about Dark Way Down is the vibrant, uplifting energy you bring to the canvas of everyday experience.” Reader, my book is about being genderqueer and having sex in the desert with women that are too good for them.
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
I did not expect for people to be able to buy my poetry book about David Bowie at Walmart but okay
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Sold out event in CT. In the airport having a salad and glass of wine that costs a kidney but tastes more like a wisdom tooth. Life is good.
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
The audiobook for We Are Now the Thing in the Woods is LIVE! I think that poetry is a medium that works best in the auditory, so I am proud to have audiobooks for both of my poetry collections. Listen to more poetry this summer. fuckyeahlaurenparker.bandcamp.com/album/we-are...
fuckyeahlaurenparker.bandcamp.com
We Are Now the Thing in the Woods, by Lauren Parker
19 track album
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
So excited to be teaching Spellcasting 101 at In the Dustlight next week!
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Thanks so much to @iamb for featuring me as part of their Seen and Heard project. I wrote and recorded poems about crimes, love, and witchcraft and you can listen to me read them over on iamb’s site.
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Thank you to iamb for featuring my work this quarter!
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
My first collection, We Are Now the Thing in the Woods, will be an audiobook this midsummer. Add some poetry to your summer reading pile and listen to poems as you garden or go on walks. fuckyeahlaurenparker.bandcamp.com/album/we-are...
fuckyeahlaurenparker.bandcamp.com
We Are Now the Thing in the Woods, by Lauren Parker
19 track album
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
“Bourdain’s blue collar sensibilities are his strongest artistic flavor. He’s as pungent as fennel, as sharp as sumac about the realities of culture and food.” Rest well, Bourdain. theracketsf.com/home/laurenp...
theracketsf.com
NON-FICTION : Les Halles in Rural Ohio / Lauren Parker — THE RACKET
NON-FICTION Les Halles in Rural Ohio by Lauren Parker
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
Authors! A game! You die. You go to hell, the elevator doors open onto the author floor where you will serve your penance for your literary crimes. But as a treat you get to kick the shit out of one fellow author for five minutes. Who is it? I’ll go first: Norman Mailer
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
Hey CONNECTICUT! I’ll be teaching a workshop at Oxford shop In the Dustlight on June 26th and spots are limited! I’d love to see you there. www.inthedustlight.com/products/spe...
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Lauren Parker @laurenparker.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
I went all the way to Spirit Northwest and all I got was a lovely time
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