iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

what’s more horrifying - a tourist couple at a cafe ON MICHIGAN AVE wearing flip flops? or said couple v obviously cosplaying JFK Jr and Carolyn Bessette?

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Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

have come to the unfortunate conclusion that I am no longer conditioned for Chicago Drinking. two evenings ago I had one (admittedly life-threatening) cocktail and a white claw and woke up four hours later, fully clothed, in bed, with a headache so bad I couldn’t move.

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

back in the day when i was an aged out manic pixie dream girl at a marginally cool cafe in chicago, i got the owner to stop playing Racist Paris Suburb Talk Radio in favor of a vibey bossa nova-ish french station came into the shop just now and it is all Emily in Paris slop

static.klipy.com

Sue Sylvester's Shocked Reaction in Glee

ALT: Sue Sylvester's Shocked Reaction in Glee

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Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

anyway one thing yall need to know about me is last week i noticed at my local walgreens that they had virginia slims menthol 120s on sale for less than $6 a pack so if you need a metric yard of mentholated tobacco don’t worry i gotchu

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Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

did i pass up a sardine dish straight from france today? yes. did i pay for a potential influencer’s bday drink bc i maybe scared her talking about my kentucky lawyer cousin? also yes. did i also get these insane scarab beetle earrings for a steal at the same place? YES. so we’ll call it a wash.

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Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I WILL BE AT KONAK TONIGHT. OFFICIALLY SETTING OFF THE BAT SIGNAL. BE THERE OR BE YE SQUARE

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Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

one of the first things I like to do in chicago is engage in some light vehicular mayhem. really set expectations early.

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

earlier today my wife looked at me and said “huh. Party on, Wayne”

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

LORD it is 2.5 weeks til Chicago and I am CHOMPING AT THE BIT. i am gonna be SO FUN and SO UNSOBER and SO HOT and i am going to drink some COCKTAILS and eat some SMALL PLATES and im gonna get that damn sardine server

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

been out here camping for 14 hours and I have: 1. successfully started a fire 2. cooked (well, reheated) dinner 3. drunk several seltzers 4. been stung by a GINORMOUS PISSED OFF WASP 5. started another fire 6. cooked an amazing breakfast

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

in another instance of “you can take the girl out of the doomsday cult, but you can’t take the doomsday cult out of the girl” - at work we make our own sours mix, which means once a week i have to juice ~30 lbs of lemons and limes. brought home a giant cambro of the spent rinds (🧵)

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

upon rewatching Steel Magnolias: - Clairee and Ouiser are in love - Dylan McDermott’s character is an even bigger fucknut than I remembered

Diedrich Bader @diedrichbader.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Reposted by Laura H

youtube.com/watch?v=w_-Y... She said this was her favorite song she wrote

youtube.com

Dolly Parton - Coat Of Many Colors

YouTube video by gussie5555

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Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

did i just use half a home-grown cantaloupe as a bowl for cottage cheese? yes. do i now feel kinda ill? also yes. would i do it again? absolutely.

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

felt hard done by bc I only made $200 tonight and then went to B-Dubs and had 2 drinks for less than $9 (TOTAL) and watched the bartender haul ass trying to close up while people ordered long islands. boy howdy that was the perspective i needed. i’ll just shut my mouth and count my money quietly.

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

it’s almost virgo season. i impulse-bought a planner.

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

what up had a table of europeans and got tipped big bc i called them cowards for not ordering raw oysters

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

pulled up beside a subaru outback that looked EXACTLY like a hiking boot, and it had an “ultra maga” bumper sticker on it????! on the one hand, my culture is not your costume, Straighty. on the other hand, LOLLLLL you know Aunt Sharon was SO PISSED when she found out about the Connotations

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

okay I have to talk about the most irritating, STUPID work situation - we are currently overstaffed by 2 bartenders at work bc of a truly idiotic series of circumstances that I don’t even want to get into. anyway, that means we’re all scrambling to get shifts, trying to pick up server shifts, etc 🧵

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Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

enormously stressful night last night at work. so now i’m out in the garden eating ground cherries, being inspected by hummingbirds, and gathering up a pocketful of calendula seeds.

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

we’re having my parents over for dinner and i’ve made novelty ice cubes with homegrown nasturtium flowers and mint for mocktails, bc dad’s on The Shot and ma’s smack dab in the middle of her deconstruction era

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Reposted by Laura H

Laura “y’all’d’ve is grammatically correct” Stone @stoneyboboney.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Been offline today & just now saw that Carol Lynn Pearson, a lone feminist/queer advocate in Mormonism has passed. She gave my “what if I realized I’m gay while on a mission?” novel a blurb that included “to read this is to know what love is.” She was a firebrand & living kindness. RIP.

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Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

IT IS ACTUALLY ✨CHILLY✨ UP HERE ON THE MOUNTAIN THIS MORNING!

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

ovulating, driving to aldi. just got so pissed off while listening to bald and the beautiful that i had to turn it off. the pink one said some cheap shot “joke” about katya being idk, fat or dumb or smthg. immediately made it about me, catalogued everyone who wronged me since grade school, etc etc

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

went out to the garden to attempt to manage cortisol levels, came back with a shirt full of cucumbers and beans and having had to eat half a dozen white currant tomatoes bc i accidentally squished them trying to get the damn stem off the plant mission accomplished

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Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

rainforest vibes on the mountain this morning

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

reason #1938572 i say im an industry lifer w no parole: hashed out a tentative bartering system w the CDC wherein he gives me biquinho and habanada peppers and i give him lemon cukes and white currant tomatoes

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Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

came up with a deeply stupid Halloween drink for my job and I can’t stop cackling about it. I’m calling it “This Is the Skin of a Killer”

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Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

managed not to tell my very mormon 17-year-old niece who ~really just wants to be a mom and doesn’t want a career~ that when I was her age I thought I was a straight republican too what do i win (answer: a drink and a smoke and not having to share a house with a man 👍)

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Reposted by Laura H

👻 SHEET GHOST 👻 @twolemonades.com · 13/07/2026

Saw a post recently calling Amanda Palmer "Steampunk Ghislaine Maxwell."

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Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

tonight we wound up at my workplace for dinner bc everywhere else closes sunday and monday, and D and I baited some real estate dudebro into leaving my bartender coworkers alone by talking to him about myspace and alkaline trio so i expect my canonization to be fast-tracked upon my death

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

when it happens, i am seriously considering dropping everything, calling out of work for the next week, and driving up to chicago and stopping at every disreputable fireworks stand between here and illinois.

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Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

accidentally tricked some of my algorithms into thinking i’m french (NOT parisienne, def plouc) and am here to say the online french are fucking weird, but in a way that seems very familiar, as an umpteenth-generation hillbilly with more taste than liquid assets.

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

so i got lip filler for the second time yesterday (the last time was 5 years ago at a balkan chop shop “medspa” in ukie village) and wow! did yall know that getting lip filler actually ISNT supposed to introduce you to physical pain so intense that you shake for 2 days after?

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sidebar: did Thomas Keller threaten to sue for the Joel McHale impersonation? is that why they’re letting him be saintly uncle tommy in the last couple seasons?

it’s a good garden, folks. i had to come back up to the house briefly and put on bug spray and re-up post-bear zoomies supplies

trying to regulate my admittedly insane reactions to this fuckass show by sitting in the garden, drinking an aldi white claw ITS MY DAY OFF #thebear

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

upon watching ep 6 of the last season of the Bear: EVERYBODY BOH IS CERTAINLY TAKING A LOT OF FUCKING TIME MONOLOGUING ABOUT THEIR FUCKING FEELINGS WHEN THEYRE ALREADY IN THE FUCKING WEEDS WHAT ARE YALL FUCKING DOING GET THE FUCK BACK INSIDE NONE OF YALL ARE EVEN *SMOKING*

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arrrgggh i hate stupid afternoon me who fucked around and didn’t get gas on the way to work so now i have to get gas on the way home. FUCK YOU, PAST LAURA.

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

UPDATE: it was a temporary skin freakout at the beginning of summer, thank god. no nicole kidman in the others for me! (am i a little disappointed not to be given an excuse to swan around the house with the shades drawn looking consumptive? maybe.) (has that ever stopped me before? GOOD POINT!)

Laura H @lauratoday.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

IT IS SUH-MUHL-YAY, NOT SOMALIA. FOR SHITS SAKE.