iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

Really excellent and helpful note I left myself in this draft 🙃

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 12/03/2026

Waiting in an airport for my ass o’clock am flight to DC for Awesome Con. If you’re attending, I’ll be in the Romancing DC area, table 311!

031

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 01/02/2026

AN AMATEUR WITCH’S GUIDE TO MURDER from @alcovepress.bsky.social / @crookedlanebooks.bsky.social is part of the Kindle Monthly Deal!!!! Meaning the kindle version is super duper cheap at $1.99 right now! Check it: a.co/d/2uKGgdU

022

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 11/12/2025

What better gift this season, than the gift of magic (done by a guy who only sort of knows what he’s doing and might accidentally eat you)? Available now from @alcovepress.bsky.social www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/799919...

Mateo Borroro
Occult specialist
This holiday season, let his expertise help you...

Break a curse
Disclaimer: curses are complicated and sometimes trace back multiple generations and across multiple bloodlines and no result or safety or continuation of life is guaranteed.

Disperse negative energy

Disclaimer: I'm going to rub an egg all over you and I promise it's magic but also sometimes the problem's coming from inside the house and I can't really do anything if you just have a bad personality but I'll try my best and also, I can't stress enough, no result or safety or continuation of life is guaranteed.

An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder

Disclaimer: a broke goth wannabe brujo with a demon trapped inside him, takes on a rich, cute, and very cursed client to pay for an exorcism—but ends up enmeshed in a deadly magical finance bro conspiracy.

Available now in paperback, hardcover. ebook, and audiobook!

053

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 14/11/2025

Did you read my book?! If so, it would really do me a solid if you’d drop a review on Barnes & Nobles and Amazon. Help me fight the algorithm 😭😭😭 visibility is everything for new authors. ✨Barnes & Noble: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/an-amateur... ✨Amazon: a.co/d/6aUlEID

Review me on BARNES & NOBLE & amazon

I've got loads of amazing Goodreads reviews but only a tiny amount of Amazon and Barnes & Nobles reviews.

If you read my book, please consider dropping a rating and review on Amazon and,
Barnes & Nobles!

Not having very many reviews does weird stuff to my discoverability so it would really help me out!

Image shows a cell phone with amazon pulled up showing I only have 14 reviews on An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder.

IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T READ IT YET BUT ARE INTERESTED!

AVAILABLE NOW!

-HE'S A 10 BUT MIGHT EAT YOU
-DEMON POSSESSION AS FLIRTING
-HE'S GOT DEMONS.. LITERALLY
-DEADLY WIZARDS ON WALL STREET MAGICAL CONSPIRACY
-SO SLOW BURN HE HAS NO IDEA IT'S
HAPPENING
-ONLY A TEENY TINY BIT OF CANNIBALISM

Join one wannabe witch as he tries to undo one clueless rich guy's curse for the promise of a payday that can finally get him that exorcism he really needs.

Preferably before he eats someone.

Image shows the cover of An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder. The cover is purple with a goth guy using a magic spell book. A black inky demon hand has been summoned from the pages.

031

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 06/11/2025

It's Indie Ink Awards nomination time! If you happened to have enjoyed my book, please consider nominating AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER! Link to register in order to nominate: indiestorygeek.com/register?nex...

NOMINATIONS OPEN!

For the Indie Ink Awards

AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER BY K.VALENTIN

INDIE INK AWARD

CONSIDER NOMINATING MY BOOK FOR:
• BEST AUDIO NARRATION
• BEST FRIENDSHIP
• BISEXUAL OR BIROMANTIC REPRESENTATION
• LATINX/LATINE REPRESENTATION
• LGBTQ+ REPRESENTATION

https://indiestorygeek.com/nominate/7/10419

0105

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 06/11/2025

This Sun, Nov 9th at 11am PT, join Mara Rutherford and me for a non-spoilery virtual bookclub! Hosted by the fantastic Laini Taylor. @lainitaylor.bsky.social has a wonderful Patreon full of amazing writers and readers that are super supportive and creative! INFO: www.patreon.com/posts/142750...

Black background with mystical star elements in pink. Two book covers are shown. The first one is teal with a magical hourglass and mushrooms and other magical elements. The second one is purple and shows a goth guy at a table with claw fingers summoning a shadow demon hand from a magic book.

Words on the picture:

LAINI TAYLOR'S BOOK CLUB

SUNDAY, NOV 9™, II AM PACIFIC

CURIOUS KIND OF MAGIC
MARA RUTHERFORD

AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE tO MURDER
K. VALENTIN

JOIN US ON ZOOM FOR A NON-SPOILERY BOOK CLUB!

DETAILS ON LAINI'S PATREON
LINK IN MY BIO!

142

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 12/10/2025

AN AMATEUR WITCH’S GUIDE TO MURDER got amazing blurbs from some of my fav authors! ✨ @maigadoocy.bsky.social ✨ @mxrileyaugust (on insta) ✨ @henryhneff.bsky.social ✨ @mstevensonbooks.bsky.social Only 2 more days till it hits shelves! 😱 🖤Preorder Here: linktr.ee/kvalentinwri...

Black background with pink stars, pink cobwebs hanging from the top left, and pink drips from the top right. All the text is punk, purple, white, and glowy.

Praise for An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder

— Maiga Doocy
Sunday Times bestselling author of Sorcery and Small Magics

— Riley August
author of The Last Gifts of the Universe

— Henry Neff
author of The Witchstone

— M. Stevenson
author of Behooved

Same background. At the top is says "October 14th"

In the middle is the cover of An Amateur Witch's Guide to murder. It's purple, with black drops coming from the top. The title is at a jaunty angle in neon green. There is a goth guy in all black with black lipstick and makeup sitting in front of a book with tarot cards and a pentagaram on the table. A black shadow demon hand is coming out of the book. The goth's hand itself looks clawed and the fingertips are black fading into normal skin tone further up the hand.

Text below the cover:
Join one wannabe witch as he tries
to undo one clueless rich guy's curse for the promise of a payday that can finally get him that exorcism he really needs. Preferably before he eats someone.

0101

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 03/10/2025

The wonderful indie bookstore Third Place Books is hosting, not just my launch, but my swag!!! You too can have all this crazy amazing stuff if you pre-order through them! Get book + swag here: www.thirdplacebooks.com/book/9798892...

AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE to MURDER

Preorder from THIRD PLACE BOOKS and get:
• A SIGNED COPY
• 3 MINI PRINTS
• 3 BOOKMARKS
• 1 STICKER

The book AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE to MURDER sits on a purple background. Beside it are 3 prints of the characters in the book, 3 bookmarks of the characters in the book, and a sticker of the main character. Better descriptions of those graphics on the next few pics.

3 prints close up.

Print 1: bright green background, black ooze dripping down, and it shows a goth 20-something male with hair swept to one side. His expression is smirking and he’s holding up a hand but it looks like a solid black clawed demon hand. This is Mateo, the main character who is a goth Puerto Rican brujo.

Print 2: shows the main cast of characters. Ophelia to the left with long brown hair Porsches to blond at the ends in an orange dress looking smug, Mateo in the middle in a black working goth outfit with button up and suspenders. His hand is out and black stuff is floating up. His eyes are crying black. To the right is Topher who is super pale with white messy hair and an all gray outfit. He looks worried. Behind them the shadow of a demon rise we up.

Print 3: shows all 3 characters sitting in super sharp outfits that look stylish. Ophelia in an orange flowy dress. Mateo in a button up blazer and boots, and Topher in a tee and jeans rolled up and trendy sneakers. Flowers sit behind them.

3 bookmarks of the main characters. Mateo, Ophelia, and Topher. There is matching black goo dripping from the tops of each.

Mateo sticker. It is chibi style so shirt and big head. He’s in an all black outfit with a demon hand held up with claws out.

0127

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 26/09/2025

If you're available Sept 27th at 1pm PT, check out Flights of Foundry (an online convention that's free to attend)! I’ll be on a 'Navigating Debut Year' panel with 4 other debut authors! It's sure to be an emotionally fraught and educational experience: Register: flights-of-foundry.org

FLIGHTS OF FOUNDRY
FREE VIRTUAL CONVENTION

NAVIGATING DEBUT YEAR

Featuring headshots of:
COURTNEY FLOYD
ALBY C. WILLIAMS
K. VALENTIN
M. STEVENSON
CHRISTY CLIMENHAGE

Save The Date 27th of SEPTEMBER 2025
At 1:00PM PT

Register at:
flights-of-foundry.org

042

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 14/09/2025

These showed up on my doorstep & I’ve been freaking out! So have a glamour shot to commemorate 1 month till this bad boy’s in the world!!! Preorder now! Coming Oct 14th from @alcovepress.bsky.social / @crookedlanebooks.bsky.social Buy here: www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/799919...

A stack of hardcover books with a 3D-printed black demon hand holding up one of the hardcover books. There is a pink skull sitting on another stack of paperback books and the side of the books drips black goo. The book itself is purple with a cartoon drawing of a goth guy with a magic book, and from that magic book, a black dripping shadow hand emerges. The image says: 1 month till release

AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER

The Dresden Files meets the queer-chaos of
Gideon the Ninth.

Mateo Borrero has ninety-nine problems, and they all hinge on the fact that his bruja mother turned him into the vessel for an ancient evil and then bounced. He needs money for an exorcism.

Enter Topher, who's cursed, rich, (kind of cute), and too clueless to clock that Mateo's never had a client before.

-Goth x Rich Guy
-No One Knows What They're Doing
-Demon Possession as Flirting
-Monster Kisses
-Only a Little Cannibalism

PREORDER NOW! AVAILABLE OCT 14TH

175

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 23/08/2025

I’m so bad at posting here when I’m not just crying about writing but here’s a graphic I made that made me laugh! Mateo’s search history!! Whomst amongst us hasn’t searched for if they’re doing a cannibalism!? Preorder links: linktr.ee/kvalentinwri...

Made to look like a search history in a browser. A tiny head of a fashionable goth guy who is the main character of the book floats upper screen left.

AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE to MURDER
MATEO'S SEARCH HISTORY:
-how to
-how to exorcise a demon
-how to get money quick
-how to get rid of a bad luck curse
-how to talk to Wall Street bros
-how to get designer brands cheap Q how to tell if you're eating people
-how to stop eating people

Still made to look like a search history but it describes the book. The book sits in the bottom right corner. It’s purple with a goth guy doing magic on the cover.

An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder

The Dresden Files meets the queer-chaos of Gideon the Ninth. Join one wannabe witch as he tries to undo one clueless rich guys curse for the promise of a payday that can finally get him that exorcism he really needs. Preferably before he eats someone.

021

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 03/08/2025

Today’s the last day to enter the Goodreads giveaway for a physical copy of my book!!! Link here: www.goodreads.com/giveaway/ent...

024

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 02/08/2025

Wanna win a copy of AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER? My publisher is hosting a giveaway on #goodreads now thru 8/3/25! Which means 2 more days!!! 5 physical copies are going to be given away (but only if you enter)! Link: www.goodreads.com/giveaway/ent...

Book on top of magical looking green circles of moons and stars. Cover shows a goth guy using a magic book to summon a drippy shadow demon hand.

074

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 18/07/2025

Curious how much research went into AN AMATEUR WITCH’S GUIDE TO MURDER? I called this stack my “fun summer reading!” LOL Goodreads giveaway happening now thru 8/3: www.goodreads.com/giveaway/ent...

Big stack of brujeria, witchcraft, demonology, tarot, and Puerto Rican history books.

3 books I referenced a lot:

-Truly Easy Tarot ←I have a terrible memory so kept having to triple check I was using the right card meanings.

-The Sacred Art of Brujeria ← I used this one for a good understanding of a healthy, well adjusted practitioner and how they view the work, as well as spell references.

-Espiritismo - Puerto Rican Mediumship & Magic ← This was great for history, current practices and beliefs, and information on different sorts of entities.

3 more books I referenced a lot:

-Brujeria and Curanderismo ← Great reference for the cleansing rituals I have in the book, as well as general practicing information and core ideas.

-Lemegeton - The Complete Books I-V ← This is THEE demonology grimoire. If you love somewhat archaic descriptions of a bunch of weird demons as decided by King Solomon, this is the book for you.

-Blood of Brujeria ← The subtitle is hard to see but it’s “Traditional Mexican Curses X Defense,” so this book was especially handy for the hexes in my novel, but also a wonderful reference for important entities and general practices and concepts.

The cover of AN AMATEUR WITCH’S GUIDE TO MURDER. Arrows come out of it. They say: SO SLOW BURN HE HAS NO IDEA IT'S HAPPENING, HE'S A TEN BUT HE MIGHT EAT YOU, ANTISOCIAL CAT X SHIVERING CHIHUAHUA DYNAMIC AT PLAY, CHAOTIC QUEER, and DEMONIC POSSESSION AS FLIRTING.

072

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 17/07/2025

There’s a Goodreads giveaway for 5 copies of AN AMATEUR WITCH’S GUIDE TO MURDER happening right now!!! Enter here: www.goodreads.com/giveaway/ent...

A black torn paper edge background revealing a witchy assortment of candles. Words atop:

AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER

THE DRESDEN FILES MEETS THE QUEER-CHAOS OF GIDEON THE NINTH.

MATEO BORRERO HAS NINETY-NINE PROBLEMS, AND THEY ALL HINGE ON THE FACT THAT HIS BRUJA MOTHER TURNED HIM INTO THE VESSEL FOR AN ANCIENT EVIL AND THEN BOUNCED.

A HILARIOUS ADULT CONTEMPORARY FANTASY FOR THOSE WHO LOVE BORDER-LINE SCAM ARTIST OCCULTISTS, GOTHS IN UNEXPECTED PLACES, AND LOTS OF MAGIC-BASED MURDER: JOIN ONE WANNABE WITCH AS HE TRIES TO UNDO ONE CLUELESS (AND KIND OF CUTE RICH GUYS' CURSE FOR THE PROMISE OF A PAYDAY THAT CAN FINALLY GET HIM THAT EXORCISM HE REALLY NEEDS.

PREFERABLY BEFORE HE EATS SOMEONE.

ALCOVE PRESS, OCT 14TH 2025

032

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 11/07/2025

Last day of the 25% off sale!!!! Here’s my book: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/an-amateur...

Neon green background with black goo dripping down from the top. The book, AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE MURDER sits to the right.

BARNES & NOBLE
7/8-7/11 ONLY
25% OFF PRE-ORDERS
Barnes & Nobles Rewards and Premium Members only!

USE CODE: PREORDER25
AT CHECKOUT

Beside the book it says:
HE'S A 10 BUT MIGHT EAT YOU

DEMON POSSESSION AS FLIRTING

DEADLY WIZARDS ON WALL STREET MAGICAL CONSPIRACY

SO SLOW BURN HE HAS NO IDEA IT'S HAPPENING

ONLY A TEENY TINY BIT OF CANNIBALISM

VALID FOR PHYSICAL BOOKS, EBOOKS, AND AUDIOBOOKS AT BARNES & NOBLE. SOME EXCLUSIONS APPLY.

Neon green background mostly covered by black dripping goo.

AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER

THE DRESDEN FILES MEETS THE QUEER-CHAOS OF GIDEON THE NINTH IN THIS HILARIOUS ADULT CONTEMPORARY FANTASY FOR THOSE WHO LOVE BORDER-LINE SCAM ARTIST OCCULTISTS, GOTHS IN UNEXPECTED PLACES, AND LOTS OF MAGIC-BASED MURDER.

JOIN ONE WANNABE WITCH AS HE TRIES TO UNDO ONE CLUELESS RICH GUYS CURSE FOR THE PROMISE OF A PAYDAY THAT CAN FINALLY GET HIM THAT EXORCISM HE REALLY NEEDS.

PREFERABLY BEFORE HE EATS SOMEONE.

ALCOVE PRESS - OCTOBER 14TH, 2025

021

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 10/07/2025

Book vibes!!! And the sale at B&N is still happening if you want it 25% off: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/an-amateur...

October 14. Things An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder will make you feel: on a dark background of tarot cards.

Second hand embarrased

Deeply concerned on a fundamental level

Gay

You’re in this picture and you don’t like it

The book An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder at the center. Arrows come off it that say: he’s a ten but he might eat you, antisocial cat x shivering chihuahua dynamic at play, so slow burn he has no idea it’s happening, tired queer, better eyeliner than you.

Barnes & Nobles 25% off ore-orders. On sale 7/8-7/11

Use code ‘preorder25’ at checkout.

042

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 08/07/2025

Want a new read (that features a lot of murder and a little bit of cannibalism but, like, it’s funny)? As luck would have it, there’s a sale! 25% off: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/an-amateur...

AN AMATEUR WITCH’S GUIDE TO MURDER novel sitting on top of a beach towel with other vibe total mismatch beach read elements around like a summer hat and woven bag.

Text above says: PREORDERAND GET 25% OFF AT Barnes & Nobles

Use Code PREORDER25 on BN.com

022

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

I’m about 3 months out from book debut and making a lot of canva graphics as a means not to freak out!!! Have some cool graphics!!! Preorder link in bio!

Convincing you to read: AN AMATEUR WITCH’S GUIDE TO MURDER on top of a purple-tinted pile of ruins and sage

Love interest: a pale eye lashed grey eye pointing to the words: constantly looks on the verge of crying (only sometimes wants to). Grey sweatshirt covered torso gripping an arm anxiously pointing to the wires: soft, smart, and anxious. White haired guy with hands up covering face, hands are a little cut up pointing to the words: the sad dog from an aspca commercial

The main character. A totally black filled eye with black goo dripping at the tear duct pointing to the words: who needs feelings when you can be sarcastic. Pointy teeth mouth pointing at the words: doesn’t out yo walls—is entirely made of walls. Guys middle finger with a lot of chunky jewelry pointing to the words: tired of everyone’s bullshit

The magic. Pitch black clawed hands holding lit candles pointing to the words: gods and demons are real. Mouth with black ethereal smoke coming out of it pointing to the words: and they can get inside you. Magic book and tarot spread pointing to the words: intentions hold power

01710

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 28/06/2025

It’s an Indie Bookstore Preorder Party! 15% off!!! Now thru June 29th and organized by authors4indiebookstores on insta!!! Indie links and more info: linktr.ee/kvalentinwri...

Text on a sparkly purple sky background with a picture of the book sitting to the left, black goo dripping from the top, and a skull with a candle in it bottom right.

INDIE BOOKSTORE PREORDER PARTY!
June 27-29

AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE MURDER

HE'S GOT DEMONS... LITERALLY

15% off at participating indie bookstores!

Code: PARTY2025

Links to indies in my bio!

Text on a sparkly purple sky background with a picture of the book sitting to the left, black goo dripping from the top.

Indies I suggest you grab my book from:
_Creative by Sanchez

Mysterious Galaxy

The Gilded Prose

-Nook & Cranny Books

Links in my bio!

Playing bingo?

An Amateur
Witch's Guide to Murder lets you daub:
LGBTQ+ author

Debut author

New-to-you author

Preorder and submit your receipt for a chance to win prizes as part of the Indie Bookstore Preorder Party!

Check @Authors4IndieBookstores for more information!

000

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 27/06/2025

It’s an Indie Bookstore Preorder Party! June 27th thru 29th! Grab an AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER for 15% off from an indie bookstore. Code: PARTY2025 Indie links (2nd, 3rd, 4th link) and more info and how to submit receipt for prizes (5th link): linktr.ee/kvalentinwri...

Grab an AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER for 15% off from an indie bookstore. June 27-29. Code: PARTY2025

Playing Bingo? AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER lets you daub:

LGBTQ+, Debut author, and new-to-you author.

Indies I suggest you grab my book from:

Creative by Sanchez, Mysterious Galaxy, and the Gilded Prose

Preorder and submit your receipt for a chance to win a prize as part of the Indie Bookstore preorder Party!

153

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 03/06/2025

My publisher is doing a giveaway for Pride over on Instagram! Check it out and try to win 7 cool books (mine’s in there too)! www.instagram.com/p/DKaHkuyJdD...

7 book covers in a rainbow background. Disco Witch’s of Fire Island, An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder, Witches of Honeysuckle House, Single Player, Here for the Wrong Reasons, Text Appeal, and The Manor House Governess

079

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 07/05/2025

Another little snippet from my upcoming novel, AN AMATEUR WITCH’S GUIDE TO MURDER. This is peak Mateo!!!

Snippet from the book:
HOWEVER MUCH HE CAN GET OUT OF THIS GUY ISN'T WORTH DYING FOR.

UNLESS IT'S, LIKE, REALLY A LOT OF MONEY.
-Mateo

The cover of an Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder is in the center (it shows a goth guy in front of a magic circle with a magic book open and a shadow hand coming out of it). Arrows coming out of the book list tropes: Chaotic queer, Crushing demon, Magic for money, He’s a 10 but he might eat you, and Vessel for an ancient evil.

Alcove Press Oct 14th 2025

The Dresden Files meets the queer-chaos of Gideon the Ninth.

Mateo Borrero has ninety-nine problems, and they all hinge on the fact that his bruja mother turned him into the vessel for an ancient evil and then bounced. He needs money for an exorcism.

Enter Topher, who's cursed, rich, (kind of cute), and too clueless to clock that Mateo’s never had a client before.

054

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 05/05/2025

AN AMATEUR WITCH’S GUIDE TO MURDER is up for request on Netgalley!!! Featuring: 💀 Goth x Rich Guy 💵 From ‘Mark’ to ‘More’ 🕶️ Stylish Outfits Abound 😈 Demon Possession as Flirting 🖤 Monster Kisses 🍖 Only a Little Cannibalism www.netgalley.com/catalog/book...

The top says ‘now available to request from Netgalley’ below is an Ipad showing the cover of AN AMATEUR WITCH’S GUIDE TO MURDER. Arrows come out of it. They say: SO SLOW BURN HE HAS NO IDEA IT'S HAPPENING, HE'S A TEN BUT HE MIGHT EAT YOU, ANTISOCIAL CAT X SHIVERING CHIHUAHUA DYNAMIC AT PLAY, CHAOTIC QUEER, and DEMONIC POSSESSION AS FLIRTING.

An iPad with the first page of the book. It reads:
"You a witch?"

Mateo Borrero pulls an earbud out, muting the furious screeching and synth blasting his ears to see who's leveled this super creative insult at him. He's greeted by the least surprising answer: a douche-bro hanging out of a truck, halted at a red light. The guy comes in a matching set, another at the wheel, craning around his friend to help jeer. The truck is big, and the douches are bigger. A guy in all-black and eyeliner is a threat to their dicks in some ill-defined way.

Because it's a bad idea to humor assholes looking to start something, Mateo pretends he doesn't see them, even though he unmistakably turned and stared. This flies for all of six seconds.

"Hey, witch bitch!" the guy yells even louder, getting innovative with rhyming now. A real poet screaming from his car.

"You deaf, too?"

This is prime words will never hurt you territory. They'll get bored if he doesn't react. But his mouth and temper operate at a different speed than his brain. "I heard you, I've just got zero interest in getting blown by a guy in a polo, so I'm pretending I didn't."

NOW AVAILABLE TO REQUEST ON NetGalley

AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER

THE DRESDEN FILES MEETS THE QUEER-CHAOS OF GIDEON THE NINTH, IN WHICH A GOTH PUERTO RICAN BRUJO-WHO HAPPENS TO BE THE VESSEL FOR AN ANCIENT EVIL-ATTEMPTS TO UNCURSE A SUPER CURSED (AND KIND OF CUTE) GUY WHO'S TOO CLUELESS TO CLOCK THAT HE'S NEVER HAD A CLIENT BEFORE.

GET POSSESSED OCT 14TH!

01112

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

What essentials do you need to get into that writing mood?

Picture of some author essentials. We see candles, a tea cup, a golden skeleton, a motivational quote, some inspirational art, and a tiny pink skeleton.

There are more author essentials pictured here. We see a black velvet skull, a necklace from a friend that has text inside that looks like ransom notes cut out all different sizes that says “Mateo,” a magnet that says “find your weirdos” from a friend, more inspirational art, a small black poodle named Bug, and a bright pink skull

We see the cover of the book “An Amateur Witches Guide to Murder” and around it are some troops. So goth he bleeds black, making it up as he goes, only sometimes wants to eat people, and broke but stylish. Underneath it says pre-order now.

030

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 28/04/2025

Still so stoked to see my cover!!! Do me a solid and pre-order now: www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/799919...

COMING OCT 14, 2025
AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER

Some tropes coming from the cover containing book details. The background is green with witchy elements on it.

HE'S A TEN BUT HE MIGHT EAT YOU

HE'S GOT DEMONS.. LITERALLY

TIRED QUEER

IS THIS LOVE OR IS THE DEMON INSIDE HIM HUNGRY?

ANTISOCIAL CAT x SHIVERING CHIHUAHUA
ROMANCE ENERGY

BETTER EYELINER THAN YOU

COMING OCT 14, 2025

AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER

"THE DRESDEN FILES" MEETS THE QUEER-CHAOS OF "GIDEON THE NINTH," IN WHICH A BROKE GOTH WANNABE BRUJO WITH A DEMON TRAPPED INSIDE HIM, TAKES ON A RICH, CUTE, AND VERY CURSED CLIENT TO PAY FOR AN EXORCISM-BUT ENDS UP ENMESHED IN A DEADLY MAGICAL FINANCE BRO CONSPIRACY.

PRE-ORDER NOW!

01310

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 25/04/2025

I’ve got a book coming out on Oct 14th AND Barnes & Nobles is doing a 25% off preorders sale right now!! But today, Apr 25, is the last day!! www.barnesandnoble.com/w/an-amateur...

4/23-4/25
25% OFF
PRE-ORDERS
Barnes & Noble Rewards and Premium Members only!

USE CODE: PREORDER25
AT CHECKOUT

AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER,

HE'S GOT DEMONS…LTERALLY

Valid for Physical Books, Ebooks, and Audiobooks at Barnes & Noble.
Some exclusions apply.
#BNPREORDER

And we see the books cover, which shows a goth style man sitting at a table with a magic spell book and a shadow hand coming out of the spell book.

THE BOOK:
The Dresden Files meets the queer-chaos of Gideon the Ninth.

Mateo Borrero has ninety-nine problems, and they all hinge on the fact that his bruja mother turned him into the vessel for an ancient evil and then bounced. He needs money for an exorcism.

Enter Topher, who's cursed, rich, (kind of clate, a never hau a elient before. at

063

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 24/04/2025

Barnes & Nobles pre-order sale still happening for 2 more days!!! Get my (and other great titles) cheap!!! www.barnesandnoble.com/w/an-amateur...

Barnes & Nobles sale 25% off pre-orders graphic. It has purple mystic elements around the edges like tarot, graphic sun with face, and crystals. At the center is AN AMATEUR WITCH’S GUIDE TO MURDER on iPad, phone, and physical book.

043

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 23/04/2025

Cover reveal!!! Shout out to @lazesummerstone.bsky.social for this rad animation (and the artist anahardesign on insta)!!! Preorder now: www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/799919...

1124

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 18/04/2025

Snippet from my upcoming novel, AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER, of their meet-cute!!! It's a little complicated to meet anyone when you're demon possessed and the other guy's just kind of a giant weirdo! Link to preorder in bio!

AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER

"No. I didn't see her face before it was..." A pause. "Off her face," is what Mateo is positive Topher says next.
Which is absolutely the fucking worst.
Like that, Mateo's positive Topher's a demon hunter serial killer again, nonchalantly discussing his latest kill with a friend demon hunter. Or maybe the gravity in his voice means he's reporting to his demon hunter boss. Maybe he's in a demon hunter union. At least he sounds somber about un-facing a lady, like maybe if he kills Mateo, he'll be a little sad about it.

ALCOVE PRESS - OCT 14, 2025

All on a witchy teal frame with skulls, and evil eye, and sparkles.

061

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

Meet the main character of my upcoming novel, AN AMATEUR WITCH’S GUIDE TO MURDER. Available for preorder now: linktr.ee/kvalentinwri...

Goth guy illustration, black puffy on one side hair style, black lipstick and eyebrow piercings. Green background with bright pink skull. Text box says:

AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER
Mateo Borrero

Your friendly neighborhood goth (with a demon trapped inside) who moonlights as an occult specialist to get enough cash for that exorcism he really needs.

60% making it up as he goes
25% actively trying to con
15% wants to eat you

Mockup of the book AN AMATEUR WITCH’S GUIDE TO MURDER and the text Oct 14th - Alcove Press. Preorder now!

083

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 28/02/2025

Last day of my early preorder giveaway!!! Buy the book and enter to win a pin! Link to submit receipts in bio. Where to buy: www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/799919...

Text over brick wall:

THE BOOK:
The Dresden Files meets the queer-chaos of Gideon the Ninth, in which a broke goth wannabe brujo with a demon trapped inside him, takes on a rich,+ cute, and very cursed client to pay for an exorcism-but ends up enmeshed in a deadly magical finance bro conspiracy.

Alcove Press Oct 14, 2025

032

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

Reminder that I’ve got a book coming out this year!!! If you like goths, witches, and nihilistic retail humor, check it out: www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/799919...

Mockup of book on the center with arrows coming off explaining 5 tropes: he’s got demons (literally), so goth he’s an actual witch, chaotic queer, clueless how to use his hella dangerous magic, demonic possession as flirting. Coming out Oct 14, 2025

"THE DRESDEN FILES"
MEETS THE QUEER-CHAOS OF
"GIDEON THE NINTH," IN WHICH A BROKE GOTH WANNABE BRUJO WITH A DEMON TRAPPED INSIDE HIM, TAKES ON A RICH, CUTE, AND VERY CURSED CLIENT TO PAY FOR AN EXORCISM-BUT ENDS UP ENMESHED IN A DEADLY MAGICAL FINANCE BRO CONSPIRACY.

152

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

Last day of the Barnes & Nobles 25% off sale! If you love goths in unexpected places, witchcraft, demon possession, awkward romance, and only the teeny tiniest bit of cannibalism (he didn’t mean it), consider preordering my book: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/an-amateur...

Last day of Barnes & Nobles 25% off sale! Sparkly blue and pink image with sale info on top. Use code PREORDER25 at checkout. Mockup of the book An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder stands up to the right.

063

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 06/02/2025

I’ve got a book coming out and Barnes & Nobles has a 25% off sale! www.barnesandnoble.com/w/an-amateur...

Bright blue background with dripping black goo. Clawed pitch black hands reach up a book titled An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder. Bright pink text says there’s a 25% off sale at Barnes & Nobles Feb 5th thru 7th.

AN AMATUER WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER
ABOUT THE BOOK:

THE DRESDEN FILES MEETS THE QUEER-CHAOS OF GIDEON THE NINTH.

MATEO BORRERO HAS NINETY-NINE PROBLEMS, AND THEY ALL HINGE ON THE FACT THAT HIS BRUJA MOTHER TURNED HIM INTO THE VESSEL FOR AN ANCIENT EVIL AND THEN BOUNCED.

BUT WHEN TOPHER WALKS IN, CURSED, EXTREMELY RICH, (KIND OF CUTE IN A SCARED RABBIT SORT OF WAY), AND HOPING FOR HELP, MATEO DECIDES HE CAN EARN CASH FOR THAT EXORCISM HE REALLY NEEDS WITH A SIDE HUSTLE LIFTING HEXES.

NEVER MIND THAT HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING... OR THAT USING MAGIC ACCELERATES HIS POSSESSION.

ALCOVE PRESS, OCT 14, 2025

1149

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 05/02/2025

My book got announced yesterday and today it’s on sale at Barnes and Nobles! Buy before Feb 28th and you might win a pin (25% off sale is Feb 5-7)! #preordercampaign

Barnes and Nobles 25% off sale plus I’ll give out a pin to lucky winners who buy An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder this month. Pin is a pale green cat skull with horns and an upside down moon on its forehead and pink flowers on either side of it.

How to enter: 1) Pre-order by the end
of day Feb 28th

2) Fill out the Google form link in my bio and upload proof of purchase! (This will get you 5 entries)

3) Like, share, and tag a friend! (This will get
you 1 entry even if you don't pre-order)

4) I'll pick 20 winners at random and mail you a pin!

About the book: The Dresden Files
meets the queer-chaos of
Gideon the Ninth.

Mateo Borrero has ninety-nine problems, and they all hinge on the fact that his bruja mother turned him into the vessel for an ancient evil and then bounced.

A hilarious adult
contemporary fantasy for
those who love border-line
scam artist occultists, goths in unexpected places, and lots of magic-based murder. Join one wannabe witch as he tries to undo one clueless (and kind of cute) rich guys’ curse for the promise of a payday that can finally get him that exorcism
he really needs.

Preferably before he eats someone.

0169

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 04/02/2025

I’ve been hush lately because I’ve been working hard with awesome people on something wild and now I can finally announce that I’ve sold a novel to @alcovepress.bsky.social I’ve been screaming for weeks, so please scream with me & keep an eye out for something cool I’m posting soon ✨ Mysterious!!

Publishers Marketplace screen grab says:
AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER
By K. Valentin
Fiction: Sci-Fi/ Fantasy
Yesterday
K. Valentin's AN AMATEUR WITCH'S GUIDE TO MURDER, about a broke goth wannabe brujo with a demon trapped inside him, who takes on a rich, cute, and very cursed client to pay for an exorcism but ends up enmeshed in a deadly magical finance bro conspiracy, pitched as The Dresden Files meets the queer chaos of GIDEON THE NINTH, to Rebecca Nelson at Alcove Press, for publication in fall 2025, by Cameron McClure at Donald Maass Literary Agency (world).

9257

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

My 2024 in 2 pics! A ton of travel this year! Lots to be excited about! Some bad stuff mixed in but I’m going into 2025 focusing on the positive and the possibilities! Happy New Year, ya’all!

2024
Highlights
• Visited Curaçao w/ friends (for free whooh
15 years at day job gift)!
• Spent a weekend in a magical triangle house in the woods
• Went on submission
• Wrote a whole other book while trying not to think about being on submission
• Visited Scotland (not free lol and cry)
• Bought land to build a house
• Writing Retreat in Cancun w/ friends
• REDACTED ‹— can't talk about it yet!!!

7 image collage. We see a moving bridge over water at night in rainbow colors in curaçao, an arched bridge over water in Scotland, a triangle a frame cabin on stilts in a Washington forest, a Cancun beach at sunrise, Aure a Devil Prince from one of my WIPs, a bunch of thumbnails of a mysterious word document with track changes on, and the mysterious woods on the land Laze and I bought.

010

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 31/12/2024

I really tried to read a ton of books this year and am pretty happy with how I faired. Read some bangers in there too (see second image — the alt text has those books names) but honestly I enjoyed almost every book I read this year!

Grid of 48 books I read this year. Notable titles will be in next pic.

Same grid as first image but some books have a green box around them. These are my fav books:
Blood Over Bright Haven by M. L. Wang
The Butcher of the Forest by Premee Mohamed
It's Not a Cult by Lauren Danhof
If Found Return to Hell by Em X. Liu
Asunder by Kerstin Hall
Bury Your Gays by Chuck Tingle
Wylding Hall by Elizabeth Hand
Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle
The Hunter by Tana French
The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw
Godkiller by Hannah Kaner
I Have Some Questions for You by Rebecca Makkai
The Space Between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson

Goodreads spit out a little summary of my top 2024 genres. It lists: fantasy, horror, thriller, on a star brown background with some simple book graphics in one corner.

Goodreads spit out an overview. The top has a calendar and some simple book graphics, and beneath that it says 20,381 pages read. 48 books read.

040

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 28/12/2024

Me at the start of 2024 / me at the end of 2024

Image from the anime Sailor Moon of the main character, Sailor Moon, smiling, winking, and holding up a peace sign.

Usagi from Sailor Moon, lying prone on her face on the ground, not even in her sailor outfit, looking like someone left her there for dead.

030

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

Impecable desk vibes on this rainy day 😌✨ Too bad I’m writing an idiot making a series of bad choices and not something moody. Y’all ever get your desk vibes just right for a totally different book 😂?

Rainy day moody picture of my desk. You can see 2 monitors, one with Pinterest open to some gothy clothing and one with a draft and a revision spreadsheet. The desk has 5 dramatic lit candles on it, a few for good sales and a few with lots of flowers and crystals on top, the blue and red desk mat has wings and eyes on it, a coffee mug has a moth on it, and the keyboard is white with some of the letters blacked out (I have a cool custom keycap set called ‘redacted’ and yes it’s hard to write on).

020

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn’t Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, or Alice In Chains.

The album cover of the album called Garbage by the band called Garbage. It shows a closeup of a pink feather boa filling the background space, the word garbage in black typewriter-like lowercase font sits center and toward the top, with a big capital G in that same black font under it and center.

120

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 11/11/2024

Writing while staring at the ocean is a state I wish I could constantly be in. +20000 soul recharge points for how many large birds I’ve seen!

Fuzzy laptop in foreground. Hotel room beyond showing a sliding glass door looking out at the ocean.

My tattooed legs in the foreground. Beyond them is the beach and then the ocean. The edges of the cabana I’m laying under are visible at the top. Just a nice and relaxing picture from the beach.

A fiery orange sunrise from my hotel balcony. The sun is super bright and the sky is a deep orange fading to blue at the top. In the foreground are dark trees and cabanas, the beach empty of people. This was at 6:55 AM.

050

K Valentin @kvalentinwrites.bsky.social · 28/10/2024

This book was fantastic! One of my favorites this year! If you love weird death magic, excellent character writing, and gods that are extremely scary otherworldly creatures with no real understanding of humans in the most deeply distressing way possible, look no further!!!