iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 17h

Sign spotted in café toilets: Cotton towels for drying hands only. Now I am morbidly curious about what else people tried to dry with them

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 17h

What are you meant to do when someone says they have a crush on you? I think I've only ever been the one with the crush before. I told him to imagine me sitting on the toilet but I think this was the wrong answer

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Acab: are you staying in Barrow tonight? Me: no, I'm walking home Acab: do you live in Barrow? Me: no, in London Does it count as talking to acab if you tell them nothing but confusing lies?

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a dick

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Reposted by Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️

Lupus Londonwolf @lupuslondonwolf.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I was making potato and leek soup and the recipe asked for five potatoes cubed. Even for potato soup, 125 potatoes seems a little excessive.

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Commentator just said "62nd minute" but my stupid brain heard "60-second minute" and thought "is that not all of them?"

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Me at a psych intake in about 2016: I don't speak to my mum much because she doesn't get my pronouns right Psych: says here you came out in 2008? Me: yeah Psych: is eight years not long enough for her to get them right? That's pretty poor

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Fuck's sake, I never thought I'd have to worry about my toothpaste having an opinion about where I get to pee

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

"One of my friends wants to come to Glanford Park and watch Scunthorpe ... well, I think my company is the actual draw and Glanford Park is just the opportunity" omg imagine if someone was so desperate to go to Glanford Park they messaged a Scunthorpe fan on Grindr to make it happen

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

"I have a form to fill in for the neurodivergence assessment and I keep procrastinating it"

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Cyclists riding on the pavement: slightly annoying Pedestrians stopping right in front of you and blocking the remaining space while they berate said cyclist: orders of magnitude worse

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

And the cuts provide another opportunity to be cruel, so it's win-win as far as they're concerned

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Is this a realistic list for things to do on Sunday for a normal person? Trying to work something out 1. Work out and swim 2. Make soup 3. Evensong rehearsal 4. Evensong 5. Eat soup 6. Rest

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Me: ah, the Sunday after an emphatic victory, I feel good Gee cees: it's rapey to complain that straight women think bi men are inherently going to cheat on them and pressure them for anal Me: oh fuck

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Grindr bloke: hello it's [person who told me he couldn't safely have sex with me and therefore never wanted to speak to me again] I'd like to talk Grindr bloke: and also have sex again How should I respond, little gay people in my phone? "Fuck off", "die in a fire", or just a stony silence?

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I swear to god the number of boring brains who don't get this, like they think the diagnosis is what makes you ill

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

We won so instead of getting completely slaughtered and talking openly about dicks I've sucked, I am mildly buzzed and speaking coyly of "friends I've visited"

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Why do blokes apologise for cumming? Is that not an expected part of the sex experience?

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I am also bitter that I had to pay £4 trans tax because the dorm specifies "men only", which at best will be "men who pass", so I had to get a private room instead

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

"Thank you for booking this hotel room in Barrow-in-Furness. Can I interest you in this other hotel room, also in Barrow-in-Furness?" I'm not sure you understand how hotel rooms work

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

My dentist is leaving it up to me to decide whether I want this fucking wisdom tooth taken out, but he did say it will never grow properly so that does seem to be the smart course of action? Trouble is he has to refer me to a different dentist and that will take up to six months :-/

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

xCLP: do you like Benedryl Cummerbund? Me: no, he looks like the back of a tram xCLP: but a sexy tram Me: I'm skeeting that xCLP: no! Me: you can't call Belenux Cumbria a sexy tram and expect me not to skeet it

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

We had a bloke from some cringe church come in and explain why the bible was just like a car repair manual. He also pretended to eat cat food in front of us and explained this was just like how nobody took Jesus seriously

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

The "stop saying please clap" account royally sucks, but it's kind of sweet to see all the people responding to say nope, sometimes you absolutely do deserve a round of applause for eating a carbohydrate before 1900

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Me, eating a chocolate cluster: ow, they're hard. I can't put hard things in my mouth right now xCLP: aw, that must be so difficult for you

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Reposted by Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️

John Scalzi @scalzi.com · 22/09/2026

Look goddamnit It's entirely possible To eat a plum And not make a poem about it The one I just ate Wasn't even in the Goddamn refrigerator Or anything Sometimes a plum Is just a plum You can just eat it And go on with your life WHAT Why are you looking at me What'd I do now (looks) oh GODDAMNIT

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

My oven appears to have packed in. It looks like something a skilled person might be able to fix, so I have messaged three people whose cocks I have sucked asking if they have the requisite skills. We shall see how grateful they are for my cocksucking

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Had to go to the hospital to have my teeth x-rayed on the fancy machine. They asked me to take my earrings out and then asked if I had any other facial piercings obscured by my mask, which I had to take off anyway to bite the thingie

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Some dipshit was saying criminals get more rights than their victims so I said which rights, and they said a murder victim doesn't have any rights. OK, but that's not because they're a crime victim, it's because they're dead. If the murderer killed themselves, they would have no rights either

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I cannot endorse calling Kirk "ow my neck". He didn't have time to say any such thing

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

So I can now open my mouth nearly normally, but I can't chew all that vigorously. Couscous felt like an ideal food that I can eat without too much chewing, but it feels like bits are getting stuck in my tooth 😭

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Lmao reminds me of a thing that happened at work. Context, I was function testing a dishwasher Me: I think I fucked up because it's not even wet inside Boss: all blokes say this at some point

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Director of music telling us to be careful to get Chuckie Three's pronouns right

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I get what you're saying but logically this would imply that trans men are also women. We can do better than gendering ourselves by how the right oppress us

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

There was a match scheduled the night xCLP was born, although I got lucky and it was postponed. I also missed the Saturday following her birth due to being unfit to leave hospital. Some sacrifices are worth making (although it helps it was just a regular season game)

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Would you like me to do another "[abstract concept] can fuck off" thread? Like for yes, RT for yes, reply for yes, ignore for no

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Yes I said South London. You were born in Woolwich and you will always be from Woolwich lol

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Grindr bloke: are you into older cis men? Me: depends how much older but potentially yeah GB: I'm [redacted personal information, my age + 5 years] Is it me or does this barely count as older

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I'm sat opposite some gooner lasses on the train so of course I congratulated them on getting a better result than the lads. Although this is not much. We got a better result than the gooner lads today

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

A thing I think about a lot is that episode of Jonathan Creek where Caroline Quentin is stalking a witness and tries to follow him into the Gents. When someone challenges her, she says "haven't you ever seen a transvestite before?"

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Grindr bloke: I'd like to give you a sensual massage Me: where are you based GB: Gillingham Me: unless you feel like transferring me the train fare, that's not happening GB: [more details about the massage] Me: yes but train fare

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Me: guess who I saw at the weekend Boss: was it someone you were happy to see? Me: no Boss: was it [irritating fellow volunteer]? Me: no, it was someone who has known the touch of a vagina Me: and I say vagina rather than woman advisedly

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Reminder that vagina is a muscle. If taking a variety of dicks of different sizes weakened it, it would be unlike any other muscle in the human body

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Remembering how he said that racists are stupid when they talk about Black people but when they talk about Muslims they're somehow 100% correct. In some ways that's even sadder than people who think they're right about Black people too :-/

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Personal best in skinny jeans! I'm crushing this parkrun thing!

Darius once again posing in a comically large Scunthorpe United shirt and skinny jeans, this time at the finish marker of Finsbury Park parkrun

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Grindr is full of horny idiots who have learned that I am in Scunthorpe when the Iron have home games and that the Iron have home games roughly once a fortnight, but not that the specific dates of Iron home games are widely publicised in Scunthorpe

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Boss: so my friends were arguing about whether it's acceptable for a heterosexual man to date a trans woman... Me: whether it's acceptable for a heterosexual man to date a woman? Boss: a trans woman Me: can I just clarify you know what a trans woman is? Boss: a man who transitioned into a woman

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

And Jesus said, "You see this? It may look like bread, but it's actually my flesh. So whenever you eat it, you're doing a cannibalism. Bon appetit!"

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I've seen this logic puzzle: they're all at the king of the animals' party

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Darius Quebec 🏳️‍⚧️ @ksej.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Quarterly you got me, but three times a year it's from the Kurdish barber. Am I mixed and nobody told me?

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