iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Hey so about that men part that seems very specific huh

110

Doing a lot better today mentally, I think a lot of unfortunate circumstances just happened to occur on my birthday alongside already being in a pretty bad depression There's many things I wish to say, but I'll keep them to myself. I'm just gonna play Fortune's Weave and chill for now.

000

I want to fucking scream about so many things but I fear upsetting others again I don't know how I'll come across when I'm like this so I'm better off saying nothing Still, I don't appreciate having all my worst case fears confirmed tonight. Guess I'll be crying myself to sleep tonight!!!!! Yay!!!

000

This was bar none my worst birthday ever, and that's saying a lot considering some shitty past birthdays If it weren't for a VC with a few friends, there would have been nothing good about it I'm fucking miserable

000

and here I was thinking I could have my mood raised just a little on my birthday... Forget that, I guess.

000

I fully get what you meant and yeah I could have done to be more considerate, but I want to be fully honest with you Navi and say I do think the reply was too harsh in how it was worded, especially considering the mental state I was in.

200

I know you have the best intentions, but getting a lecture on my wording during a breakdown is really not what I needed tbh Stuff like "pull the no one cares card" feels like I'm being scolded and genuinely upset me further, like this was me being intentionally manipulative for pity points or smth

100

There was one hugely good news I received today, but mentally I'm so drained and depressed that today still fucking sucks regardless Potentially the worst birthday I've ever had, and I only made it worse by being mentally ill on the timeline and getting everyone annoyed at me... rightfully so...

110

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Spent the whole day sleeping and crying in bed This might be the worst birthday I've ever had... I was expecting it to be bad on account of the depression, but this is a new low

000

im doing awful ngl been crying a lot today

000

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Starting to realise I genuinely view myself as less important or valuable than those around me, and feel that I need to earn my right to have friends At the moment, I just don't feel like I deserve to have any friends, let alone ones as great as those I have

100

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

hugs ily friend 🫂 always here if you need someone to talk to

000

Idk why i bother anymore My job is the single only good thing in my day-to-day life I don't wanna die but I also just don't wanna exist, nor do I think I deserve to exist I think everyone would be better off if I just disappeared anyway

000

I feel so alone I don't know what to do I'm just so so alone

100

My birthday's coming up but I think fhis is bound to be the most depressing birthdays ever ngl I'm just sad about so many things and hate myself so much

000

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

I'll never find love and I don't deserve it I should accept the fact that I am going to live and die alone

000

UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ADORABLE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE I WANNA PET AAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA

forgot to reply but this was smth I started doing but I forget to do it when I'm doing especially bad, so I gotta make more of a habit of it also thanks sapphi, I really appreciate it 🧡 You're a great friend

Also as someone who gets it with like mental health and stuff, I often find myself in the same dark places, I assure you I message you because I want to cause you're a really good friend, not out of any obligation or anything. You are my friend and I love you very much 🧡

000

I'm sorry if I haven't been reaching out like I promised, I've been barely messaging anyone across this time of mental self-recovery That being said, I should make the effort more and be there for you. I'm always here if you wanna talk, and I promise to DM more again from now on if you'd like.

100

Spent this whole day so far cleaning up my room and stuff and like damn yeah it does feel good to do a deep clean after all this time I wish my brain just worked sometimes and motivated me to do this more often

000

oh what a coincidence I also started doing a bunch of chores that I suddenly had the motivation for (no one's coming over I just had a random need to clean around lol)

I gotta stop posting depressed thoughts at nearly 2am... I just wish i knew what to do when I need to seriously vent? I either suffer in silence or post stuff i regret and delete anyway, so idk what to do at this point

110

The hunger pains hurt... they hurt a lot...

000

Everyone in my family keeps saying I look healthier and that losing weight looks good on me too, but realistically I've lost all fhis weight from depressed self-inflicted starvation Considering the context, encouragement to keep losing weight really isn't what I need rn...

100

I didn't eat at all today I'm starting to think starving myself is my subconscious means of self-harm when I'm down... I really have to stop that

100

Huge hugs for my bestie siggy 🫂

011

Why do I have to be me? I hate me.

000

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

doing fucking awful tonight ngl can I get a hug

000

just the thought of this is making me anxious I'm ngl... This is so difficult... i fucking hate my social anxiety and I hate my trauma, I just want to be normal and make friends and hang out and do things besides fucking work and sit at my PC... I want to fucking live not just survive

000

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

I really wish I had someone to just physically drag me to social things that I want to go to but am too anxious to bring myself to do But ig if that were the case it'd be too easy and maybe I'd never really change as a person I guess I just have to take the leap and try getting involved in things

100

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

You ever see like multiple different VCs you really want to join in but social anxiety kills you so you just don't join any of them because you feel like you wouldn't be wanted or that your presence would be intrusive??? Yep!!! Me!!! All day!!!!!

000

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

You should go all in on the bit and make a weed pizza

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

I know I said I was "soft-returning" to the internet, and I do mean that, but it moreso applies to social media than discord I imagine I'll be online overall even less once stuff IRL start getting more active for me, but until then I need all the social interaction I can get tbh

000

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Wait it ain't legal to watch anymore? We don't hate toei enough

120

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

I can only blame myself though, I don't make the effort and can't expect these things to fall in my lap, but I'm so fucking scared of rejection that I just don't attempt anything Even with these antidepressants generally lifting my mood, my abandonment trauma refuses to leave me... I hate myself.

000

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

All the while over time, everyone around me is practically thriving Many friends making additional friends in other groups, and many friends getting in relationships I feel like as time goes on, I'm being left further and further behind with less friends to relate to in this way. Its so lonely...

100

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

man im just im just not doing good I really don't wanna sound like an incel or anything like that, but every day that goes by makes me more upset that I've never been in a relationship or had any romantic/sexual experiences I just feel like I'm failing at life and my 20s have been wasted...

100

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

The first step for me is to start being active in the FGC discords, that way it'll be easier to make friends at the local In an ideal world, I'd find a Bristol meet up group for JRPG fans but its not a thing, so fighting games make the most sense realistically God this socialising thing is hard...

120

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

God my mental state is so weird cause last night I was incredibly depressed and today I'm genuinely beyond happy for no reason the antidepressant life sure is a weird one 🚬

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

I'M SO HYPE OOMFIE MY SWITCH 2 IS WAITING!!!!