iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Life's been good recently, I'm making progress in a lot of things from work to my financial situation The social situation is somewhat stagnant, but that's likely to change in the next month or so as well Things are finally looking up for me again...

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Been generally doing well lately now that the antidepressants are doing their thing, but I'm filled with an unending guilt and disgust in myself for the person I was during my mental breakdowns I know its not like fully "me" in that sense, but I can't help but hate myself and how I effected others.

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Started getting night terrors that wake me up scared to death which is really cool Im the kinda person who doesn't really remember dreams either, so this was genuinely terrifying...

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

oh wow the last few days have been pretty good actually I mean, my birthday sucked there's no question about that, but every day after has been pretty good for me mentally speaking I really hope things can just get better from here

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Did a lot better today, but that awful birthday keeps coming back to the forefront of my mind I'm still so deeply upset about how my day went, and I think the scars won't heal feom it for a very long time Here's hoping my 30th is better...

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Doing a lot better today mentally, I think a lot of unfortunate circumstances just happened to occur on my birthday alongside already being in a pretty bad depression There's many things I wish to say, but I'll keep them to myself. I'm just gonna play Fortune's Weave and chill for now.

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I want to fucking scream about so many things but I fear upsetting others again I don't know how I'll come across when I'm like this so I'm better off saying nothing Still, I don't appreciate having all my worst case fears confirmed tonight. Guess I'll be crying myself to sleep tonight!!!!! Yay!!!

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

This was bar none my worst birthday ever, and that's saying a lot considering some shitty past birthdays If it weren't for a VC with a few friends, there would have been nothing good about it I'm fucking miserable

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

and here I was thinking I could have my mood raised just a little on my birthday... Forget that, I guess.

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

There was one hugely good news I received today, but mentally I'm so drained and depressed that today still fucking sucks regardless Potentially the worst birthday I've ever had, and I only made it worse by being mentally ill on the timeline and getting everyone annoyed at me... rightfully so...

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Spent the whole day sleeping and crying in bed This might be the worst birthday I've ever had... I was expecting it to be bad on account of the depression, but this is a new low

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

im doing awful ngl been crying a lot today

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Starting to realise I genuinely view myself as less important or valuable than those around me, and feel that I need to earn my right to have friends At the moment, I just don't feel like I deserve to have any friends, let alone ones as great as those I have

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Idk why i bother anymore My job is the single only good thing in my day-to-day life I don't wanna die but I also just don't wanna exist, nor do I think I deserve to exist I think everyone would be better off if I just disappeared anyway

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

I feel so alone I don't know what to do I'm just so so alone

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

My birthday's coming up but I think fhis is bound to be the most depressing birthdays ever ngl I'm just sad about so many things and hate myself so much

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

I'll never find love and I don't deserve it I should accept the fact that I am going to live and die alone

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Spent this whole day so far cleaning up my room and stuff and like damn yeah it does feel good to do a deep clean after all this time I wish my brain just worked sometimes and motivated me to do this more often

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

I gotta stop posting depressed thoughts at nearly 2am... I just wish i knew what to do when I need to seriously vent? I either suffer in silence or post stuff i regret and delete anyway, so idk what to do at this point

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

I didn't eat at all today I'm starting to think starving myself is my subconscious means of self-harm when I'm down... I really have to stop that

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Why do I have to be me? I hate me.

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

doing fucking awful tonight ngl can I get a hug

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

I really wish I had someone to just physically drag me to social things that I want to go to but am too anxious to bring myself to do But ig if that were the case it'd be too easy and maybe I'd never really change as a person I guess I just have to take the leap and try getting involved in things

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

You ever see like multiple different VCs you really want to join in but social anxiety kills you so you just don't join any of them because you feel like you wouldn't be wanted or that your presence would be intrusive??? Yep!!! Me!!! All day!!!!!

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

I know I said I was "soft-returning" to the internet, and I do mean that, but it moreso applies to social media than discord I imagine I'll be online overall even less once stuff IRL start getting more active for me, but until then I need all the social interaction I can get tbh

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

man im just im just not doing good I really don't wanna sound like an incel or anything like that, but every day that goes by makes me more upset that I've never been in a relationship or had any romantic/sexual experiences I just feel like I'm failing at life and my 20s have been wasted...

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

The first step for me is to start being active in the FGC discords, that way it'll be easier to make friends at the local In an ideal world, I'd find a Bristol meet up group for JRPG fans but its not a thing, so fighting games make the most sense realistically God this socialising thing is hard...

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

God my mental state is so weird cause last night I was incredibly depressed and today I'm genuinely beyond happy for no reason the antidepressant life sure is a weird one 🚬

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

I'll be honest Whenever I'm feeling especially depressed these days its one of two things Either I'm depressed about my loneliness (no IRL social life + no romantic/sexual life) Or I'm depressed about them and all this below Currently... I'm really feeling both...

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Man idk why but depression suddenly hit insanely hard tonight I've had so many nights feeling better but its like there's an awful sad feeling in the pit of my stomach Gonna try and not vent about it for now but like... I'm just really sad and don't know what to do about it

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

A huge thing I learnt across the last few weeks is that I absolutely need a life outside of the internet and work I need friends I can see in person on a regular basis A romantic relationship couldn't hurt either, but I'm not making new friends with that in mind, it'd just be nice to have I think

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

I'm so happy I could cry In fact I did cry I feel like I don't deserve such happiness, but I can't help but feel it ;w;

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Generally alright mental day into incredibly depressing anxiety-filled evening How long is it gonna be like this? I just want to get better... I just want things to be better... I just want to make things better...

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

I can't help but be upset about a lot of things but I'm not constantly depressed about them at this point... if anything I'm emotionally numb, which I hear is a sign the antidepressants are close to being in full effect Like there's a sadness looming over me, but its not dominating my life for once

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

The first night in a while im not going to bed with a huge spike of sadness and anxiety I didn't realise how much I'd miss this feeling

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Reposted by K-Man Real

Weyland - ttv/weyland_here @weyland.live · 26/08/2026

FYI the HUGE number of AI slop at GamesCom's opening night live is not a sign that the industry has normalized AI. It's a ploy to make you believe that. These games are all by the same 3 or 4 publishers. This is a concerted effort to make consumers accept AI.

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I wake up and I'm fine I'll stay online, I'll just set myself a definitive time to stop looking at social media/discord for my own mental health, at least until the antidepressants fully kick in

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Maybe I wasn't ready for a return to social media/discord I felt so confident in my mental health the last few days, but today and yesterday I've been suffering, albeit only at night. I want to vent but I'm holding back and trying to not let impulse win. I think I'll try and sleep on it...

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Many things I want to vent, but I know better than to bombard bsky after everything that happened. I need to treat these things in a healthier way. I decided I'll keep a journal for all my vents now. It misses the human aspect of venting to others, but at least I get my thoughts out of my mind...

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Sometimes when you're feeling down you need to play Metaphor: ReFantazio on your personal computer. You'll still feel down, but at least you're playing Metaphor: ReFantazio

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Bad mental day today combined with slow work day :( I just wanna chill with oomfs...

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Since taking antidepressants I've been consistently waking up between 2-4am its really annoying More recently, I've been waking up with tears in my eyes, which feels like I'm having nightmares but I never seem to remember them...

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Been listening to I Wish That I Could Fall (Jamie Paige) and Let Me Stay Here (Ceres Fauna) on loop the past week Its nice to have comfort songs

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

God I hate that anxiety comes with physical aide effects too Its bad enough when I'm just paranoid or upset about stuff, but feeling an actual physical weight on your heart is such a weird feeling Luckily I got new meds that help with that and stop me from freaking out, but still sucks it happens

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

That person I was even just last week... I don't think I've ever felt so not "me" before in my life It was like every bad impulsive thought was attacking me 24/7 and I could barely contain myself Words can't even begin to describe how sorry I am for how I was. I'm disgusted with myself to be frank

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

tl;dr, I'm soft returning to social media and discord. You might see me around but nowhere near as much as I used to be. Also, I won't be engaging in any NSFW spaces or with NSFW stuff publicly anymore.

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K-Man Real @kmancircle.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

I've deleted my NSFW account I needed to for my own mental health. I was spiralling in an awful way and even hurt my friends in the process. Hopefully this change will be a good thing for me. I'm sorry to everyone I've upset or worried.

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