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Kevin McCaffrey

@kevinmccaff.bsky.social
1.2K followers 409 following 852 posts

Comedian. Appeared on Letterman & a bunch of truTV/Vh1 shows you watched accidentally. Podcasts: Sex and the Cidiots, The Bridgerton Bros. Either a little drunk or talking to a dog, sometimes both. linktree.com/kevinmccaffrey for tour dates!

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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 22h
This is the lowest bar I’ve ever seen for “turning back the clock”
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Sometimes I think “I’m so different from my mom!” and then, there I am, online, wishing the dog of someone I’ve never met a happy birthday
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
It’s weird Sark wouldn’t bask in his first and last big win
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Cybertruck has a lot of features, but one I’ve never seen used is the passenger door
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
It is genuinely insane how crooked everything related to University of Michigan sports is. You simply have to respect it
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Everyone loudly talking on the phone in any mass transit situation is someone I am absolutely shocked has even a single friend to call. Is it possible they’re all just calling each other
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
If I reply stop to 100 democratic fundraising texts from people I’ve never heard of in a month, that should just count as a vote. I shouldn’t have to go to the polls, I have endured enough for this limp and yet clearly better party, just mark me down
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Lyft defaults you to match with regular taxis now. Did it once & it was an absolute lunatic the likes of which I have not been driven by in maybe 10 years. Sucking teeth & tweeting like a bird, randomly yelling “bicycles!” Wild the old part of New York is still out there like little mobile museums
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Frankly Abdul El-Sayed getting more votes than the candidate supported by the Democratic Party establishment was RUDE. How DARE he get more votes than an opponent that outspent him 11-1. It’s UNDEMOCRATIC that he had more people vote for him. This has been my audition for CNN & MSNOW, I’m available
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Mainstream media is amazing, man. If someone actually on the left wins, they still frame it as a loss. (Especially if they’re Muslim)
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Less than half of all Americans vote for everything, you empty husk & corpse of the idea of journalism
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
There’s one place Sophie Cunningham’s name never gets brought up, and that’s when people are talking about actual basketball games
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
It’s a real bummer when pretty nice people you know are just terminally stupid
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
I’ve had a mysterious elbow problem for 2 months, and today the doctor said “I saw that you’re a comedian — do you grip the mic tightly?” and now I just think I’m gonna die from this
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
There’s no way to invite all Facebook followers from a specific city to a show I’m doing in that city, but Facebook WOULD like to know if I’d like to reply to posts with an avatar. Helpful
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
It’s too bad you can’t binge an alcohol cleanse really fast. I can get really drunk in 4 hours, I should be able to get really sober in the same amount of time
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Well that makes sense of the murder spree. Prosecute everyone.
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Zanies Chicago 7/21! Already got an angry message from a mediocre former Chicago comic I hadn’t seen in 15 years who is only memorable for turning into a mentally ill racist, so it’s safe to say the promotion machine is going GREAT babyyyy
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Incredible goofball shit going on at the all-star game America 250, constitution theme party. Go further! All New York reps should abstain from playing until the game’s already over. Pennsylvania players should keep insisting we should play soccer instead. Let’s go full 1776
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Spain big time deserves that win AND I’m sad
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Is Jake Tapper fit to host a show on CNN? Seems his mental and physical acuity is deteriorating rapidly. Maybe he should write a book about himself
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Incredible final round by Jordan Walker. And he’s an ultimate Cardinal because even when he’s good, it sucks the joy out of something
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More Perfect Union @moreperfectunion.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
BREAKING: Zohran Mamdani announces click-to-cancel rule for NYC. This rule is aimed at guaranteeing New Yorkers can cancel subscriptions as easily as they sign up — and stopping corporations from trapping customers. This will save New Yorkers up to $162.5 million per year.
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
You know the US is a young, tier-below soccer culture because no other country in the world would have Pollyannas being like “the true honor is to suspend our own player!” Lol. Lmao even
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
I love to root an underdog but also, you have to have some baseline level of dignity. For this reason, get Paraguay outta here
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Hey France — fuckin, get it together
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
It’s perfect that the biggest knob of a manager in the world cup’s final 16 was an American export. Jessie Marsch, thank you for representing this era of disingenuous fame chasing 🇺🇸 (nice job Canada tho)
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
I would have gotten this in one guess. Perfect
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Not kidding, the announcers who do the Nathan’s hot dog competition consistently put up masterclass year after year, some of the most competent and entertaining work in all of sport
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
Plenty to make fun of Taylor Swift for but “I’m not impressed she donated 26 million” is corny. The people who benefit from the 26 mil are probably a little impressed. Pediatric cancer care got money! You can just allow that that’s good. Now, when she did that song saying she’s “wet”? THAT sucked
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Gotta admit: solid bit to choose to get married in the center of the country’s largest city, in its most famous arena, then put up tarps for “privacy.” Sense of irony did NOT make the invite list
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Pretty glad USA had birthright citizenship for that Brooklyn born, English raised goal, aren’t ya, you xenophobic freaks
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Odd programming that if you leave the channel on after the World Cup — a bringing together of nearly 50 different cultures — the next thing up is the steroid popping TMZ paparazzi vulture interviewing right wing freaks (Riley Gaines currently). I’ll say, inconsistent
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Wrigleyville Nation @wrigleyvillenat.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
New podcast ep411 is out now! @kevinmccaff.bsky.social joins us. Cubs Sweep Mets, Peterson Aquired, Win 2 in Milwaukee. Listen where podcasts are or watch on YouTube or Spotify. www.wrigleyvillenation.com/post/podcast...
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Tits McGee @scientits.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
‘Say yes and never do it’ Mel Brooks knew how to deal with the studios
You have some wonderful stories of basically getting away with stuff at the studios.

I’d learned one very simple trick: say yes. Simply say yes. Like Joseph E. Levine, on “The Producers,” said, “The curly-haired guy—he’s funny looking. Fire him.” He wanted me to fire Gene Wilder. And I said, “Yes, he’s gone. I’m firing him.” I never did. But he forgot. After the screening of “Blazing Saddles,” the head of Warner Bros. threw me into the manager’s office, gave me a legal pad and a pencil, and gave me maybe twenty notes. He would have changed “Blazing Saddles” from a daring, funny, crazy picture to a stultified, dull, dusty old Western. He said, “No farting.” I said, “It’s out.”That’s probably the most famous scene in the movie, the campfire scene.

I know. He said, “You can’t punch a horse.” I said, “You’ll never see it again.” I kept saying, “You’re absolutely right. It’s out!” Then, when he left, I crumpled up all his notes, and I tossed it in the wastepaper basket. And John Calley, who was running [production at] Warner Bros. at the time, said, “Good filing.” That was the end of it. You say yes, and you never do it.

That’s great advice for life.

It is. Don’t fight them. Don’t waste your time struggling with them and trying to make sense to them. They’ll never understand.
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
The level to which I won’t see this is unprecedented. Crazy levels of not going. You know how people say “I’m sat” when something makes them perk up with interest? I’m stood
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Health insurance is cool cuz you get to pay a bunch of money each month for nothing & then if something happens to you, you pay a bunch more
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Jon Danziger @danziger.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
I don’t know, man, maybe the city with the most number of Jews in the world repudiating candidates who support the Netanyahu government isn’t anti-Semitism, maybe it’s because of something else?
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Perfect that our government disallowed Africa’s top-rated referee from entering the US for, uh, reasons (“trust us bro,” basically), but gave the green light to a player Canada wouldn’t let in due to wayyy too many rape accusations (Thomas Partey). Current USA in a nutshell
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
I like golf. But when the fanbase treats busting up a locker as a greater offense then, uh, everything Phil Mickelson has done over the last decade (and surely more), it’s hard to take it seriously. Anyway nice work Clark
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Tough to find the perfect Father’s Day gift when your dad’s 2 favorite things are 1) history and 2) being on the wrong side of it
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Having a good laugh remembering the world’s most useless agent, who retired about 4 years before they stopped “representing” me
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Blake injured his elbow beating off to the bible verses the Giants put on their hats after Pride night scared them too much. Thoughts and prayers to Blake
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
“How Zohran Not Inviting Amar’e Stoudemire To The Parade Is Yet Another Example of Antisemitism” - NY Post
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Think about people having White House UFC watch parties right now. Think of the smell in those rooms. Just the smell of wet socks and Monster energy drink. Has there ever been a greater gathering of unpaid child support? Could be record setting
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
f James Dolan chokes on his champagne this will officially be the greatest day in NYC history
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
The Knicks were like an absolute horror movie for the Spurs. Jason Vorhees-ass chase down every single game
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Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
Kathy Hochul rooting for the refs 🧐
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Kevin McCaffrey @kevinmccaff.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
This is the first time James Harden has been dangerous during the playoffs
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