Sign in

Keith Topping

@keitht.bsky.social
214 followers 141 following 211 posts

Self-Unemployed Author, Novelist, Journalist, Broadcaster, The Sick Man of The Stately Telly Topping Manor. Hobbies include socialising with fiends, loud guitar-based pop-music; watching football, cricket, TV and cinema, history, irking the purists.

PostsRepliesMedia
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Under normal circumstances I'm quite proud of being from where I am. However, there are some significant exceptions to this rule. This would, definitely, be one of them.
120
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Also a distinctly Italiano flavour to today's HMV purchases.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Part the second.
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Another EPIC sesh at the Amaysia with Young Malcolm. Happy to report thatcit was, indeed, geet lush and that.
011
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Today's "from the Glass Half-Full column" sample.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Another luncheonette at The Keel Row with That There Young Malcolm. And lo, twas geet lush in my sight.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Not sure who's bright idea it was to stick Keef in goal. He'd be an effing liability, what with all the heroin and everything. Surely Charlie's the obvious keeper here better positional sense. Can't argue with the choice of The Big Lad up front, though.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I ♡ MY CITY!
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
The cover
011
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Editing begins today and will continue for approximately the next six weeks before delivery at the end of October. This is going to be a big one.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
I think it's the emphasis on STILL that makes it *art*.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Really? I must've missed it. I must have been considering the inherently ludicrous nature of existence at the time. Either that, or listening to House of Love.
020
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I remember buses. I was on two of them yesterday.
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
At Amaysia, with Young Malcolm.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
They got *everything* you need in Aisle Fifteen, it would appear.
020
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Quite a line-up. I'd like to have gone but, being only but four at the time, my mum had the final say on that score. And, she said no. An opportunity missed, dare one suggest?
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
This week's reading material. Additionally, the reason why the lady who delivers The Stately Telly Topping Manor post now curtsies each time she hands the latest batch over.
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Tragically, we never DID get a Mister Spunk in Star Trek. Or, indeed, a Mister Spank.
121
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Good grief, Christina, it would appear that AI do sometimes get some things correct (mainly, it should be noted by taking its information directly via From The North!) Still, credit where it's due. I suppose. Reluctantly.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
When your back's knackin' you need the best medicine available.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
@ Amaysia, with Young Malcolm. And, lo twas geet lush.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
A German, a Brazilian and a Dutchman walk into a bar. An Englishman is usually with them but he's still *at* the World Cup. Nah, lissun ...
020
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
"So, you think there's a market for jewellery coloured like shit?"
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Good grief Christina, England in "actually halfway decent performance at World Cup" shock. Well, *that'll* never catch on, clearly.
020
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
The finely manicured lawns of The Stately Telly Topping Manor have be, ahem, finely manicured at last.
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
Having a day off ...
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
Well, that's just wrong on so many levels ...
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
Sympathy for the driver?
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
THANK GOD YOU TOLD US. Does anyone else remember when the Daily Mirra used to be run by ADULTS? No, me neither, I'm only 62.
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
Funniest Thing EVER: No 147. Sure's advert ("official sponsors of the World Cup") using Cole Palmer landing roughly 48 hours after Tuchel declined to pick him in the squad! Especially as they licensed a Beatles song for the music (presumably paying Sony MILLIONS!) Aw, bless.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
Back to the jolly old Keel Row, with that there Young Malcolm, for malarkey and shenanigans and that.
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
Tragedy.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
This is Gene Savoy, the American explorer, author and theologian best known for his claims to have discovered more than 40 lost cities in Peru. That was obviously before he became the lead singer of Yello. Chikka chikka.
030
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
If he was a Bulgarian, I'd be really worried. (One of all dear fiends of "a certain age", there ...)
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
You know how it is? You've just started a new book, four days in and it's going well, you're ahead of your self-imposed word count (let's see how long that lasts) and you think, "you know what I really really really really deserve? This." Yeah, THAT!
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Also, painting them yellow and hanging them on a tree if this photographic evidence is anything to go by, it would appear. Only in the Metro (so, not a REAL newspaper) dear Blue sky fiends ...
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Well, there's a question I never thought I'd be asked.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
Anyone else fancy one of Batman's "fudge missiles"? Twejve's far too many for me ...
020
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
I like bats. I like cats. But, which is best? There's only one way to sort this out ...
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
"I've just out been a tour of aLL major cities in South-East Asia with my favourite 1980s band, Kajagoogoo." "Singapore?" "Yes. But the bassist was quite good." I'm here all week.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
Hello, ducky ...
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
How much do I deserve this? Let me count the ways ...
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
The PDF for the forthcoming Bride of a Vault of Horror has just arrived for editing from my (magnificent) publishers. I will, therefore, be rather busy for the next few days reading through 613 page searching for errors until my forehead bleeds.
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
It's true, you know.
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
If you can't be bothered to read the latest From The North blog update (and, to be honest, I wouldn't blame you!) allow AI to provide this - surprisingly sort-of accurate(ish) - summation. After all, even a broken is correct twice a day.
000
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
That's the weekend sorted, then -
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Il Grotta Azzurra, Capri, 2004. It was an absolute miracle I managed to get a shot this evocative in virtually no light. My late mother's reaction ... "Well, it *is* blue, I'll give them that!"
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
Another fortnightly business luncheonette at The Keel Row with Young Malcolm.
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
Used Morrisons' Amazon Returns machine for the first time, today. Once I'd FOUND the machine (hidden away in the entrance behind the potted plants), it was a surprisingly painless process. Well done, all. Let's see if they refund is as straightforward (I'm not holding my breath).
010
Keith Topping @keitht.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
Well, that's tonight sorted ...
020