Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026just saw someone comment VOTE NO ON LIBRARYS and I'm gonna need the writers to be a little less on-the-nose for the rest of my day, thank you 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Phonelight pierces the gloom of my filthy hovel. Another news item of nihilistic incompetence. The world boils. Grief and pain are all we feel. I sigh. It is time to put my phone on a tripod and clack my fingernails on the shell of a Pitfall cartridge while asking if anyone remembers video games. 000
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Trump talking about his enemies being freaks while he's got Aunt Gladys in the fuckin' Oval Office today 000
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Can this much wholesome exist on the internet? You know... that internet? 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 07/10/2026A month before a referendum on his rule and the best they can do to explain away his words is “he’s not evil, he’s senile!” 000
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Rest in piss, Jim Bakker. I wish there was a hell where the nice old lady on my paper route who lived like shit and sent you money got to spit in your face for eternity.youtube.comMake Me LaughYouTube video by Anthrax - Topic 000
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Guy has CD collection worth avg of $4800 on Discogs. I tell him I can pay 30% of that and pick up at his door, hours away. "I was looking for $3500 so that ain't gettin' me there." Sir this isn't a car. It's 500 microtransactions and padded mailers. You want those margins, welcome to retail dude. 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 05/10/2026"8647" = imminent threat of political violence "we're gonna put them down and stick it up their ass" = you know how papaw gets when his nappy's chafin' 000
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 05/10/2026The parent-of-a-twentysomething urge to recite the four things that need done today Dora the Explorer style under one's breath over and over all day long whether or not one actually crosses any of the four things off the list 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 05/10/2026So am I but you don't hear me bragging about it 020
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026I wish I loved anything as much as old white guys at record shows love wearing AI slop t-shirts about how much going to record shows rocks 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026ME with a literal mouthful of extra sharp cheddar right now: hey man what the fuck 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Are we sure all the water at those "data centers" isn't just to keep dude from melting 000
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Working on my little retro game more this week. You flip over dice, create hands to clear them, then move along the cleared spaces toward home. Imps come out and ambush you into playing mini-games with them. Water is impassible but you can terraform the shallow bits. Really enjoying making this one. 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026I don't see any downside or consequences! (y'all can have dibs on half our basement when the fresh water wars start, but you have to bring the drum kit) 110
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Even after driving the length of the state and setting foot in actual Bakersfield it's still hard to be from rural Ohio and not think of every square inch of California as Malibu 101
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Doctor Doctor Gimme the news I am the sad clown You referred me to 020
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Today in “simple breakfast that quickly got out of hand,” I present scrambled eggs, cheese grits, and conecuh sausage with sauteed onion, green pepper and mushrooms. 020
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Can you even imagine what they think the center is? "Okay, so maybe only A FEW pilots are furries." 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Can Rahm Emmanuel and Gavin Newsom enter the same room and explode in a singularity of douchiness by end-of-year so we don't have to spend 2028 pretending either one of them's worth a shit in order to maybe sort of escape full-blown dipshit fascism? 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026It's gotta be freeing to live with that little embarrassment 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Glad our visitor was mostly here to see my wife because I wound up taking an unscheduled two-hour nap after dinner (I regret nothing) 000
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Wife's got a work friend over so I made pulled pork 'nachos' over home fries for everyone. Very much a "we're not going out later" meal. 110
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Teenage girls? You mean fourteen million crisis actors, hired by Brian Epstein and paid in wine gums or whatever British people eat for fun? 000
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 25/09/2026OHIO RADIO AD: every kid in the USA is a gay trans commie now and Sherrod Brown personally surgeried them with his own scalpel ME: no way anyone believes this cartoonish bullshit HALF OF OHIO: omg who knew, I better vote for Bribey McDatacenter, thanks for the info you selfless oligarchs 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I finally got myself to quit posting there a couple months ago, but I still scroll too much because so many of my friends are still there. Seeing what they turbo-dump into my feed daily feels like something future archaeologists would want to document. 000
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 25/09/2026They took away 'hide all from' as an option for shitty Facebook accounts in my feed. Now I get 'interested/not interested' and a chance to snooze the account for 30 days. This is like falling off the Titanic, being dragged onto a lifeboat, then having the captain steal your oar for kindling. 100
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Mostly music - riding a weird little wave of CDs coming back and being cheap fun collectibles for Gen Alpha and Z. Doing fine overall, just a slow stretch. Given [waves hands at everything] I'm grateful to be doing as well as I am overall. 042
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Crazy slow day on my sales platforms, no new messages, fall is in the air and I feel melancholy and invisible. Better go post about it on the platform where I get zero engagement 250
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Wastin' away again with Tommy Tuberville Lookin' for some hot pics of your junk Some people claim that only furries fly planes But I know, that's how dumb coaches talk 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026This has all the hallmarks of a trick played by someone still in evil mode 001
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026I'd rather not elaborate further, but you ever think maybe they got the wrong guy? 000
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026what monster would even suggest such a travesty 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 22/09/2026I know he had funny social media for a minute there but we all know Gavin Newsom would absolutely try to kick the football every single time Lucy promised she wouldn't pull it back, right? 000
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Fifth Third Bank: if we rename enough ballparks after ourselves, you might stop wondering why our name is so awkward and stupid (tm) 110
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 19/09/2026"Keith, cards on the table here. "Dinnertime is still seven long hours away. "Yet thanks to special interests (that stupid other cat) my bowl is already EMPTY at a critical juncture. "Our deadline for zoomies and windowsill nap is fast approaching. "Can you rush a churu donation?" - DemoCat 000
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Dems pissing down their own legs about anti-trans attack ads are just honoring one of America's time-honored traditions: allowing the shittiest assholes in the country to completely set the narrative and lead them around by the nose in an endless game of stop-hitting-yourself 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026take me down to the paradise city where my man john riffs and replies are witty 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026If they're willing to treat Mitch McConnell, one of their own architects of evil, this badly at the end of his service to their nihilistic cause, imagine how little they give a shit what happens to you, a far less useful idiot 020
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026"Hear me out... what if we let them win the midterms, but then gas gets so expensive they can't afford to run the equipment to tear down the Kennedy Center? Ehh? EHHHH???" - Democratic strategists probably 031
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Putting my own harm-reduction theories to a sore test by voting this fall for Marcy Kaptur, a 900-year-old do-nothing Republican-lite built for an era when the most strenuous thing she'd have to do was cut ribbons at the opening of new shopping plazas, because her opponents are so vehemently evil 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026EXT: remote third world village KID: Hey everyone! New t-shirts are here! Someone must have lost a sports game in America! [opens BOX to reveal 75,000 pointing-Joe-Biden "I did that!" stickers] KID: what the fuck? 020
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Made a breakfast bowl with tater tots, spam, egg, mushroom, onion, green pepper and cheese. Did I garnish it with Texas Pete hot sauce and a slivered piece of pickled okra? Yes I did, and I demand a food truck immediately. 170
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Be it known that my 6,666th feedback on Discogs was a very nice comment about an evangelical praise and worship CD I sold to someone. Amen! 010
Keith Bergman @keithbergman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026New evidence exposes the Radio Star's checkered past and may exonerate Video altogether. Check out my 12-part podcast, BUGGLED. 010
