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kale 🍃

@kalenotcabbage.bsky.social
47 followers 34 following 1.1K posts

26 | they/he | mycelium man .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ overwatch ♡ five nights at freddy’s omori ♡ fortnite ♡ stardew valley .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𖡡 murray’s costume manor

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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 16h
hey airbuds why didn’t you calculate the 60 times i’ve listened to this song today????????? excuse me
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 18h
legit not even an hour after posting this one of my co workers was gagged at my age bc she thought i was like 22 😛😛😛 yeah girl im unc
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 18h
omg WHO
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 18h
yeah he’s cringe af. i also can just tell from his vibe that he’d be a mf to lay and do nothing during a hookup 😬
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 18h
LOLLL HOLD UP WHATTTT WHAT A PATHETIC MAN 😭😭 bro wants a sugar daddy
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 20h
it’s crazy how much younger i look than some people i went to high school with. wanna know my secret? im not married and dont have fucking kids LOLL
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 20h
yes come back !! it’s great over here
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 23h
SHOOT THIS SHIT INTO MY FUCKING VEINS OH MY GOD
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
i have the best boyfriend in the world i’m gonna THROW UP
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
tbh my last job was 10000x more stressful. like if i fuck something up at my current job, it COULD be really bad but since it goes thru so many ppl before it’s sent out… mistakes aren’t that big of a deal. but at the centro?? dealing w weddings and shit??? that’s scary
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
when u tell ur therapist what ur job is and she’s like “erm thats kind of surprising bc that actually seems very detailed and stressful for someone who’s as anxious as you” YEAH THIS IS WHY I GET ANXIOUS 💔 not really tho cos i was also anxious working fucking retail
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
this song makes me ILL
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
okay i actually need my therapy sessions to be 3 hours cos i have so much i wanna talk abt today and ONE HOUR ISNT ENOUGGHH thank god im going weekly
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
am i okay…???2?2?43?2?2?
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
CONAN IM IN PHYSICAL PAIN
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
lowkey.. this game walked so stardew valley could run.
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
idk how we as a society have just. moved on from covid. like yall know a good percentage of people on the planet are permanently fucked after that, right? whether it be from long covid, or mentally from everything we went thru that year. shit is insane.
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
this song is objectively bad but whenever it comes on when i shuffle my entire music library it does in fact give me a pit in my stomach. like yeah. new years 2020 i DID think it would be the best year ever. and then it ended up being the worst year of my (and millions of others’) lives 😬
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
i love the greatest showman okay i can’t help itttt 😭😭😭😭
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
banger to end all bangers
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
okay but this is actually a banger tho
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
happy hump day 😛
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
yes i am unfortunately including this album in my listening today and i just still would like to know what the FUCK IS THIS ALBUM THE LYRICS ARE SO FUCKING BAD AND THE VOCALS MAKE IT EVEN WORSE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 if this wasn’t released right when ai started becoming prevalent id assume that’s how he wrote it
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
listening to this and genuinely mourning the future we could’ve had where brendon would choose to make jazz ballads and frank sinatra covers. but instead we got him screeching about who tf knows what. what a waste of talent bro
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
“wah wah this song is biphobic” okay but have you ever been a 16 year old freshly out bisexual listening to this with the girl who’s leading you on who’s going to leave you for a man? because like….. that’s a quintessential queer experience and hits harder than it should
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
this is a close second
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
best song of all time btw
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
next therapy appointment tomorrowwwww gonna be assessed for OCD, anxiety, and bipolar 😬😬😮‍💨😮‍💨
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
florida drivers will be my 13th reason
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
i’m screaming and crying and throwing up
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
she was truly ahead of her time with this song
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
AMANDA THE ADVENTURER MOVIES WITH BLUMHOUSE AND MATPAT?!?!?! WHAT RHE FUCKFKF???!!!:!;!;!3?
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
its not even 9:30am yet but im popping my pussy to magic by one direction
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
all my feminism leaves the building when this song comes on
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
HAPPY FRIDAY MOTHERFUCKERSSSSS
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
my eyes welled up w tears last night as i was talking to my bf abt the mimic.. IT IS THAT SERIOUS HES JJST A BABY
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
SLAYYYYYYY
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
idgaf this is a fucking banger
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
oh how i wish this musical wasn’t violently racist for no reason. IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD IF THEY JUST HAD KEPT IT ABOUT MORMONS AND NOT MADE IT A WEIRD WHITE SAVIOR STORYLINE MAKING FUN OF AFRICA LIKE WHAT THE FUCKKKK i guess you can’t expect much from the creators of south park
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
somebody take fresh kitchen away from my gen x female coworkers PLEASEEE I DONT WANT TO HAVE IT FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH. YOU CAN CHOOSE ANY RESTAURANT AND YOU CHOOSE COLD NOODLES AND GREEN BEANS?? 😭😭😭
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
step on up is such an absolute banger but i must add that it does make me very sad for my man glamrock bonnie 💔💔 he never even got a chance. justice for my boy.
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
listening to fnaf music on my way to work and these are 100% the BEST fnaf songs. living tombstone 🔛🔝
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
no yall don’t understand i love fnaf so much 😭😭😩😩
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
UNDERRATED BOP!!!!!!
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
i was born to have green hair and a septum piercing
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
i love my friendssss the past month has been so fun :3
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
BUFF KINGGGGG OMG
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
LETS GET THIS BREAD MOTHERFUCKERSSSS!!! FRIDAYYYYYYY
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
charlie puth music BANGS AND I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS
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kale 🍃 @kalenotcabbage.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
this is ethically sourced melanie martinez
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