Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 3hIf it hasn’t changed since I did payrolls for Starbucks, doesn’t it also have to accrue so hourly/part-time employees get even less? 110
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 3hIt’s also fun to pick up your suitcase and walk nimbly up the stairs coolly passing everyone on the escalators, leaving them in their straight misery 020
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 3hBen is wearing pants, insufficient evidence exists as to the provenance of the worn garment to say anything more at this time. Our fact checkers are working feverishly to confirm Mark’s stunning report. Big if true 130
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 3hI don’t go on the moving sidewalk, I like to speed past the straight people walking on it to make sure they know they will never be gay 360
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 3hAll her practice with avoiding other dogs is coming in handy. I am a pariah in my own home 010
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 4hAnd god forbid I sneeze! I am leaving her alone now, even though I find it hilarious because she is 15 and deserves her rest 110
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 4hMy dog is cracking me up. I have bronchitis, again, and have been trying to cuddle her, but every time I cough she gives me a death stare and walks right out of the room all the while staring at me like don’t follow me you fool 6220
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 7hWhy does the Democratic Party of Illinois spend so much money mailing my husband and I large ads about how Darren Bailey hates women? Surely you can purchase a Planned Parenthood donor list and assume we know 080
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 7hWell, I love both. And I’ve been told I have both. But if likes on pictures is any indication, my FC beats my FA all day long by wide margins 020
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 13/10/2026Awww. You are too kind yourself. I always vaguely suspect it’s because I look kind of panicked/confused all the time 😂 020
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 13/10/2026People are always so randomly kind to me. Today especially, the best examples are the CTA maintenance man saw me struggling to scan my phone and came down and scanned me in. And the phlebotomist noticed she had more trouble than usual finding a vein so she gave me a water for my walk home 1220
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 12/10/2026I feel like even walking into any TJs in Chicago you are taking your life into your hands because the parking lots or garages are insane 130
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 12/10/2026Adam is gone so I will just languish at home with Mari 120
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026This brought back a memory of my mom looking at my dad like he was nuts, taking the popcorn bowl away from me and bringing me a plastic trash can 010
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026Well since I’m vers I guess I can’t join, so I can only hope to be shared 030
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026That’s my new normal too. And my friends with kids are outraged that I call it early 020
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026Oh wow, I am way way too nosy to do what is definitely the right thing. I’m over here wondering what the secret was and it wasn’t even my weirdo tinder match 110
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026I literally had this very thought on Friday as I watched the sunrise 120
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026I had the grave misfortune of finding some Polaroids that taught me at a very young age not to snoop so they found a way! 030
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026I should not have to consider watering my flowers in October. Like I’m glad they are still there but this is goofy 000
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026Costco lady said “your brother?” to my husband. He said “my partner” and she didn’t miss a beat “well, couples do start looking alike” 160
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026This tickles me because my dad makes random requests like this and I am zero percent interested but also fine, at least it’s not his political or religious nonsense 110
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026I was just joking because a small number of people were having a passionate discussion of candy bars 110
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026static.klipy.comGaga Gif Hotel Gaga HotelAlt: Gaga Gif Hotel Gaga Hotel 110
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026I’m just sad they made the wolf look mean on all their merch now, it was so cute when I was a student 120
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026I definitely shouldn’t eat them and rarely do! But sometimes I cave 010
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026Around Halloween it’s fairly easy but by Christmas it becomes harder. But I am glad I don’t live by that store, I would be their number one customer 000
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026They are my brothers faves to this day and my mom has to search high and low to get them for his stocking every year. I’m general a sour candy person but if it’s a chocolate bar kind of day then I need 100 grand 010
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026They have a lot in common with snickers, but the chocolate is better, the crunchy texture and the ooey gooey caramel is better 120
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 11/10/2026Not to participate in discourse, but 100 Grand bars are criminally underrated 5140
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 10/10/2026Mestatic.klipy.comPuss In Boots: The Iconic Big EyesAlt: Puss In Boots: The Iconic Big Eyes 010
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 10/10/2026We always joke that he made me fat, which is close to true, but more true is that I was insanely skinny and only ate once a day before I met him. I just forgot and hated to cook and shop etc 020
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 10/10/2026Same! Thus my husband texting me multiple times a day from Hawaii to ask what I’ve eaten. He was so upset that I ate cereal for dinner at 10 pm last night 120
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 10/10/2026static.klipy.comMuppet Show: Swedish Chef's Kitchen ChaosAlt: Muppet Show: Swedish Chef's Kitchen Chaos 040
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 10/10/2026He left me soups and casseroles for dinner so I am only making breakfasts but he was unduly impressed that I knew how to perfectly baste an egg 😆 110
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 10/10/2026I’ve never lived alone in my life and I am terrible at it. I actually have friends coming to stay for most nights. If I had my way there would be a schedule and people would sign up for slots to supervise me lol 130
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 10/10/2026He left me dinners but left me to my own devices otherwise and I absolutely would live on snacks but I have my annual physical soon and I am trying to cram 😂 020
Jonathan Zoia @jzoia.bsky.social · 10/10/2026He is obsessed with food so he texts me multiple times a day to ask what I’ve eaten. Usually I just do take out and cereal but I can’t do that for a week 110
