iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 24m

Just got scheduled for my autonomic testing, which tests for POTS IDC positive or negative results, this is *huge* I got teary-eyes I’m so fucking happy… Holy shit 💕

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Reposted by Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!]

ㅤ𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚜 ㅤ⏾ . @fromthegallows.bsky.social · 23h

i will have vengeance i will have salvation

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

It’s so cute that I’ve started fucking ✨vomiting✨ due to my condition I fucking love it 💕

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Back to thinking about how much of this applies to me, oh no I always described myself as “too much” or “too overwhelming” I wasn’t aware of just how low my self-esteem was nor how bad my people-pleasing was until this last year demanded I stop that shit immediately lol #verbaexore

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STRANGER.EXE @strangerexe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

People always think we look for love at our lowest to distract us. I am convinced we do it because we want someone to look us in the eye, to look our ugly in the eye and still choose us.

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Ayo watching Riverdale has been fun though It’s like nonstop junk food, like what the Hell even is this show? ATP I’m just here for Jughead & Cheryl lol

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

How was going back to work? I worked for 5 (five) hours on my first day back & ended up triggering PEM so severe I’ve been vegetating on the couch since 4PM Wednesday afternoon up until now This is ass lmao

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☆*:. 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆 — quote bot @thenatalog.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

let this hellish tempest of rage run its course . i don't wanna hide behind this mindset anymore . if it's a trick 、 then consider me fully immersed .

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Three days in and I’m already as exhausted as I was when I was forced to leave work months ago I knew the war wouldn’t be over when I got back & that I’d REALLY have to work at maintaining the course It just takes such a toll physically to jump back into this stress immediately…

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Aaand now I can’t eat my favorite comfort food without puking… Sigh… It really has gotten that bad, hasn’t it lol…

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Reposted by Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!]

ㅤ𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚜 ㅤ⏾ . @fromthegallows.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

three cheers for tyranny , unapologetic apathy

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

> go on my computer to hop on ffxiv > my sub didn't charge; go check my emails to figure out what's wrong > get an email that my accommodations got... ✨ 2 extra hours ✨ which is ✨ not enough ✨ so I'm back at war > another email confirms autopay for rent which will overdraft > cue autistic meltdown

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

> work 5 hours > become hit so hard with fatigue, I can’t function: brain fog (can’t do… Anything other than sit on the couch & watch a show bc everything else is waaaay too much effort), headache, body heaviness, low motivation… ThisIsStupid.exe

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ᛤ @holyaches.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT HOW MUCH SHAME I CARRY WITH ME.

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The shame of having something going on with you that causes you to mysteriously come & go with work, & knowing that people are judging you for it… Another big reason why I end up triggering my dysautonomia. I overwork myself to mask & avoid any possible conflict. Can’t live like that anymore.

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Adding yet another very concerning health condition to my partner’s bingo card, I love this song 💃🕺💃🕺

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The validation-seeking, masking side of you will want to push yourself past your body’s boundaries in order to fit in & find belonging You must ignore this, these are ableist demons 🙂‍↕️

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I go back to work today… Wish me luck 😬🍀🕯️

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Not me getting diagnosed with PCOS, autism & dysautonomia & most likely may have POTS (which is causing the dysautonomia) And now I gotta seriously consider if I have BPD too All in the span of a. A year. Happy 30th to me I guess? (I turn 30 in like 2 weeks omg…)

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

REGULAAAAATE YOU PIECE OF SHIT 👹👹👹👹👹

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The person who tested me for autism suggested I also see a psych for possible BPD I nervously chuckled that off, considering I have CPTSD & severe trauma surrounding relationships But the *mentality* - the black & white thinking that comes with BPD - … is kinda beginning to check out 🧍🏻

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I am now “paying for it” 💀 I had sudden rapid onset sleepiness alongside brain fog Took a nap for 2 hours Now I’m laying in bed with my brain cooked, energy zapped, heavy body & a rapid heart beat (happens often… Should’ve known TBH) SMHHHHH

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STRANGER.EXE @strangerexe.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I scream and shout like this Just to prove to the world that I still exist I don't believe in life And I won't believe in death 'til I die

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STRANGER.EXE @strangerexe.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Make something of your suffering if you mean to survive it.

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

(LONG ramble) About my struggles as a traumatized human being because it is within my own triggers that I recognize where I need to heal But at the same time, I live in a constant Catch-22 because my triggers, while coming from a place of abuse, also come from a place of very sound logic UGGHH

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ᛤ @holyaches.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

begging for attention?

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✨Hesediel 🏳️‍⚧️ @masaxiv.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

grrrrr

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

CPTSD touches every facet of my life. I was made to feel like all that ever mattered was what I produced, not how I felt. Any time I tried to speak my mind or tell people they hurt me, I ended up much worse than when I just shut the fuck up & kept my head down. Boundaries ended up in abuse.

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Trying to mentally prepare myself to go back to work To reengage with psychological warfare Trying my damndest to hold onto myself- to honor my thoughts & feelings Trying my best to not slip into immediate defensive anger & preparing for the worst Trying not to lose myself again Trying…

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Just read some dumb shit that made me do this fr fr

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Just did a shit ton of stuff in one day that I KNOW I’m going to pay for tomorrow… 😭😭😭💀💀💀 It was worth it thoooooo I finally got to get some important house storage & decoration stuff that I’ve been wanting for months so I just kinda Powered thru getting a majority of it up lmao…

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ᛤ @holyaches.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

i suffer in my loving， and you know it.

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

LOVE that I planned for this weekend to be full of relaxing & self-care, right before I return to work, & I spend one of them wound up & restless as fuck & the next I’m very dizzy & in pain Chronic illness. Yay.

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

When you’re just in a warm (WARM, not hot) car for an hour or two & now your body is acting as if you did a whole ass workout: you’re winded, fatigued etc @_@ Granted I woke up with PEM and/or a migraine but the heat made it much worse smh

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

COLE SPROUSEEE 😩💕🩷💖💕🩷💖

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Woke up wide awake at 4AM with a thudding heart beat 🫰🏼 I love this song

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Reposted by Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!]

emotions scrapbook @affectingbot.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

You’ve got to bite the hand that starves you.

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Me, tapering off of my beta-blockers (which is most likely hiding my POTS symptoms): oh okay, good- I'm showing more clear signs of POTS Me: Me: oh no I'm showing clearer signs of POTS... I'm also getting insomnia again ASDFJLKDSF

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

God Almighty to the Heavens above I wish this were a fucking joke This is not for attention, these are not lies for pity This is really, actually, my fucked up reality & it’s INFURIATING HOLY FUCKING SHIT (rant)

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Update: -Yes, if you go to your employer in-person demanding for answers they kick the right people in the ass LMFAO - Said “right person” DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING KNOW MY PARTNER WAS ON LEAVE!!! 💀💀💀 - They needed a magic hidden piece of paperwork & didn’t inform my partner it was missing 💕💕💕

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Not my partner having to GO TO OUR PHYSICAL PLACE OF FUCKING WORK because they have no answers & they have no choice (This is how I got “communication” regarding my “accommodation” after 2 1/2 months of none of it btw lol)

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Day two… Give it up for day two… 🫩

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Reposted by Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!]

ㅤ𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚜 ㅤ⏾ . @fromthegallows.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

you and me , we're not the same i am a sinner , you are a saint

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Reposted by Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!]

ㅤ𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚜 ㅤ⏾ . @fromthegallows.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

i could be a martyr , i could be a cause , i can be whatever everybody wants

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Judas 🐑 [Read Bio!] @judas-seraph.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Job 41:3 "Will it keep begging you for mercy? Will it speak to you with gentle words?" How many times will I put him in this outfit? Yes. (he / him for OC) #gpose | #gposers | #OC | #JudasArgentum | #judas-seraph

A young man (Judas) with short wavy black hair parted down the middle, and soft blue eyes; he's wearing heart-shaped earrings and circle glasses. He has scars around his neck and small angel wings sprouting from his back. He wears a VERY thin, barely-there angel outfit: angel wings hug his thighs, his hips and his chest, with a golden chain draped across his torso and he's wearing white loincloth / underwear. He stands with his left arm relaxed, his right hand resting against his shoulder and he looks off to his right shyly, blushing softly. Behind him is a wall of flowers, blurred.

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