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Jason Salmon

@jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social
1.4K followers 83 following 466 posts

Comedian - Standup Special, Biscuits & Gravity streaming on YouTube. Tour dates - punchup.live/jasonsalmon/tickets

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Weird Week of Women’s basketball Come see a live show Oct. 2 - Butte, MT Oct 8 - Syracuse, NY Oct. 9 - Adams, MA Oct. 11 - Chester, NY Oct 16-17 - Portland, ME Oct 23 - Oshkosh, WI Oct 24 - Minneapolis Oct 25 - Denver, CO Oct. 29 - Baltimore Oct 31-Nov 1 - Portland, OR Nov 2 - Tacoma Nov 4 - Spokane
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Natalie is the person I’m least concerned about him sleeping with.
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
If he doesn’t understand the difference between the Atlanta Hawks & the Iowa Hawkeyes women’s team This would definitely help explain why people like him think there’s so many men playing in women’s sports 
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Another Weird Week Xi Loves Me Not Edition Live Dates 9/25-27 - Phoenix 10/1 - Missoula, MT 10/2 - Butte, MT 10/8 - Syracuse, NY 10/9 - Adams, MA 10/11 - Chester, NY 10/16-17 - Portland, ME 10/23 - Oshkosh, WI 10/24 - Minneapolis 10/25 - Denver 10/29 - Baltimore 10/31-11/1 - Portland, OR
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Another Weird Week Kennedy Sinner Live Shows 9/18 - NYC 9/20 - Pittsburgh 9/24 - LA 9/25-27 - Phoenix 10/1 - Missoula, MT 10/2 - Butte, MT 10/8 - Syracuse 10/9 - Adams, MA 10/11 - Chester, NY 10/16-17 - Portland, ME 10/23 - Oshkosh, WI 10/24 - Minneapolis 10/25 - Denver 10/29 - Baltimore
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
As an optimist, I am glad to have finally learned the proper spelling of the word “apocalypse” this week
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Another Weird Week Remember to Never Forget Edition LIVE DATES 9/18 - NYC 9/20 - Pittsburgh 9/24 - LA 9/25-27 - Phoenix 10/1 - Missoula, MT 10/2 - Butte, MT 10/8 - Syracuse 10/9 - Adams, MA 10/11 - Chester, NY 10/16-17 - Portland, ME. 10/23 - Oshkosh, WI 10/24 - Minneapolis 10/25 - Denver, CO
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
This is definitely the 9/11 president. The first go was bad but confusing for many. The second is when it became obvious to everyone that this country is under attack Also he’s being funded by the Saudis
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
You know you’ve been typecast when the wardrobe they give you is just a different hue of what you wore to set.
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Another Weird Week The Fall & the Downfall Edition New shows in Denver & Austin Baltimore rescheduled to 10/29
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Another Weird Week I Will Always Loot You Edition #dollyparton #timcurry #politics #comedy
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Predictable He’s a man who thinks greatness is having your name on a lot of things  So it makes sense that “Make America Great Again” Just meant - “Have its name on a lot things”
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Another Weird Week The Crooked v. the Strait Edition Special taping in Austin Dec. 11 - The State Theater - More Live Dates - * 8/20-22 - Lawrence, KS * 8/23 - KC * 9/8 - Virginia Beach * 9/9 - Richmond, VA * 9/10 - Baltimore * 9/20 - Pittsburgh * 9/24 - LA - Comedy Store * 9/25-27 - Phoenix
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Another Weird Week Hors D’oeuvre Force One Edition
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Should we rework vaccines? Depends on who you trust
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
I will say The president climbing out of a catering cart, is definitely the closest he’ll ever get to being born again 
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Another Weird Week Pirro Wet Edition
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Lettuce Alone The Real pHeroes of Cyclospora
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
Another Weird Week Iran v. a Rand Edition Remains live Summer dates * Aug 1 - Batavia, IL - Comedy Vault * Aug 6 - Springfield, MO - Springfield Comedy Club * Aug 7-8 - Tulsa - Loony Bin * Aug 9 - OKC - Bricktown * Aug 20-22 - Lawrence, KS - Comedy Club of Lawrence * Aug 23 - KC - Comedy Club of KC
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
They’re a little too bomb happy if you ask me.
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
I do respect the president being so committed to bombing that he even did it in his correspondents dinner speech.
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Another Weird Week ICE Shots & Tariffs Edition Remaining Summer Shows * Jul 25 - Buffalo * Jul 30 - Louisville * Jul 31-Aug 1 - Batavia, IL * Aug 6 - Springfield, MO * Aug 7-8 - Tulsa, OK * Aug 9 - OKC * Aug 20-22 - Lawrence,KS * Aug 23 - KC
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Working on it
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Looks can be deceiving See for yourself Live all summer * July 22 - Omaha * July 23 - Des Moines * Jul 25 - Buffalo * Jul 30 - Louisville * Jul 31-Aug 1 - Batavia, IL * Aug 6 - Springfield, MO * Aug 7-8 - Tulsa * Aug 9 - OKC * Aug 20-22 - Lawrence, KS * Aug 23 - KC
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Another Weird Week The Old Man & the Speech Edition
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Excited to hear the president claim the election he was in charge of was rigged. Then the election he subsequently won was fair And now the election he’s about to lose is gonna be rigged again And how he has to change the structures in place from the fair elections to make things right again
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
A large part of Lindsay Graham’s legacy is going to be defined by… His close friendship with John McCain …followed immediately by… His close friendship with the man who essentially spit on John McCain’s grave
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Another Weird Week Anti FIFA Edition
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Any NY Knick fan who saw what the president did to the US World Cup team, has to be thanking the lord above that the NBA Championship is a multi-game series.
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
This post would get you a bereavement fare from any reputable airline
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
It’s a rare president who can make FIFA seem more corrupt… Summer Shows * July 17 - NYC * July 22 - Omaha * July 23 - Des Moines * Jul 25 - Buffalo * Jul 30 - Louisville * Jul 31-Aug 1 - Batavia, IL * Aug 6 - Springfield, MO * Aug 7-8 - Tulsa * Aug 9 - OKC * Aug 20-22 - Lawrence, KS * Aug 23 - KC
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
I get asked a lot if there’s anything I’d credit the president for doing Welp…gotta give him this one… Being able to out-corrupt FIFA is a feat for which he’s uniquely qualified
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
The GOP’s trick is… When capitalism isn’t working… They’ll blame socialism When it is… They’ll call it communism
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
Ah the irony of a celebration of this presidency being canceled because of climate change related heat issues…
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
Another Weird Week Independence Day Edition Happy Fourth & Happy World Cup Go team USA
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Ironically, being an Olympian canoeist likely made him more qualified to renovate that pool than the silent movie villain they hired
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Sorry to hear about the passing of Victor Willis, front man for the Village People Also also thoughts & prayers to the president who may have just learned the lead singer of YMCA was black
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Ah. Been trying to get one in DC. If you’d like to be the first to hear about new dates, you can check my punchup page - link in my bio
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
I mean, how do you not order all of these? (as a native Texan, even an extra tortilla is useful)
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
People say the president tells it like it is But when Milli-Vanilli backs out of his event, authenticity might not be his strong suit
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Thank you. Where is that neck of the woods? Let’s see if we can make it happen
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Another Weird Week Pool Around & Pond Out Edition
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
AGGH. I’ll just act as the warm up act!
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Another Weird Week Retreat-y of Versailles Edition Father’s Day Weekend Shows June 19-20 - Detroit June 21 - Cleveland
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Thank you Love a good science account
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Can you post the account this is from?
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
President says he doesn’t want to be Herbert Hoover But based on current economic trajectory along with his rap sheet… I think Pervert Hoover is a better fit
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
As a nod to this way worse version of the Obama deal - gotten by a making things way worse for Americans - we should call this the JC POS
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Thank you
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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Happy Father’s Day - This weekend in Detroit - Father’s Day in Cleveland More June/July Dates: * 6/25 - Orlando * 6/28 - Chester, NY * 7/22 - Omaha * 7/23 - Des Moines * 7/25 - Buffalo * 7/30 - Louisville * 7/31-8/1 - Batavia, IL
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