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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 1h

Natalie is the person I’m least concerned about him sleeping with.

Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 18h

If he doesn’t understand the difference between the Atlanta Hawks & the Iowa Hawkeyes women’s team This would definitely help explain why people like him think there’s so many men playing in women’s sports

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Another Weird Week Xi Loves Me Not Edition Live Dates 9/25-27 - Phoenix 10/1 - Missoula, MT 10/2 - Butte, MT 10/8 - Syracuse, NY 10/9 - Adams, MA 10/11 - Chester, NY 10/16-17 - Portland, ME 10/23 - Oshkosh, WI 10/24 - Minneapolis 10/25 - Denver 10/29 - Baltimore 10/31-11/1 - Portland, OR

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Another Weird Week Kennedy Sinner Live Shows 9/18 - NYC 9/20 - Pittsburgh 9/24 - LA 9/25-27 - Phoenix 10/1 - Missoula, MT 10/2 - Butte, MT 10/8 - Syracuse 10/9 - Adams, MA 10/11 - Chester, NY 10/16-17 - Portland, ME 10/23 - Oshkosh, WI 10/24 - Minneapolis 10/25 - Denver 10/29 - Baltimore

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

As an optimist, I am glad to have finally learned the proper spelling of the word “apocalypse” this week

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Another Weird Week Remember to Never Forget Edition LIVE DATES 9/18 - NYC 9/20 - Pittsburgh 9/24 - LA 9/25-27 - Phoenix 10/1 - Missoula, MT 10/2 - Butte, MT 10/8 - Syracuse 10/9 - Adams, MA 10/11 - Chester, NY 10/16-17 - Portland, ME. 10/23 - Oshkosh, WI 10/24 - Minneapolis 10/25 - Denver, CO

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

This is definitely the 9/11 president. The first go was bad but confusing for many. The second is when it became obvious to everyone that this country is under attack Also he’s being funded by the Saudis

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

You know you’ve been typecast when the wardrobe they give you is just a different hue of what you wore to set.

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Another Weird Week The Fall & the Downfall Edition New shows in Denver & Austin Baltimore rescheduled to 10/29

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Predictable He’s a man who thinks greatness is having your name on a lot of things So it makes sense that “Make America Great Again” Just meant - “Have its name on a lot things”

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Another Weird Week The Crooked v. the Strait Edition Special taping in Austin Dec. 11 - The State Theater - More Live Dates - * 8/20-22 - Lawrence, KS * 8/23 - KC * 9/8 - Virginia Beach * 9/9 - Richmond, VA * 9/10 - Baltimore * 9/20 - Pittsburgh * 9/24 - LA - Comedy Store * 9/25-27 - Phoenix

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Another Weird Week Hors D’oeuvre Force One Edition

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

Should we rework vaccines? Depends on who you trust

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I will say The president climbing out of a catering cart, is definitely the closest he’ll ever get to being born again

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Another Weird Week Pirro Wet Edition

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Lettuce Alone The Real pHeroes of Cyclospora

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Another Weird Week Iran v. a Rand Edition Remains live Summer dates * Aug 1 - Batavia, IL - Comedy Vault * Aug 6 - Springfield, MO - Springfield Comedy Club * Aug 7-8 - Tulsa - Loony Bin * Aug 9 - OKC - Bricktown * Aug 20-22 - Lawrence, KS - Comedy Club of Lawrence * Aug 23 - KC - Comedy Club of KC

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

They’re a little too bomb happy if you ask me.

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

I do respect the president being so committed to bombing that he even did it in his correspondents dinner speech.

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

Another Weird Week ICE Shots & Tariffs Edition Remaining Summer Shows * Jul 25 - Buffalo * Jul 30 - Louisville * Jul 31-Aug 1 - Batavia, IL * Aug 6 - Springfield, MO * Aug 7-8 - Tulsa, OK * Aug 9 - OKC * Aug 20-22 - Lawrence,KS * Aug 23 - KC

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Looks can be deceiving See for yourself Live all summer * July 22 - Omaha * July 23 - Des Moines * Jul 25 - Buffalo * Jul 30 - Louisville * Jul 31-Aug 1 - Batavia, IL * Aug 6 - Springfield, MO * Aug 7-8 - Tulsa * Aug 9 - OKC * Aug 20-22 - Lawrence, KS * Aug 23 - KC

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

Another Weird Week The Old Man & the Speech Edition

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

Excited to hear the president claim the election he was in charge of was rigged. Then the election he subsequently won was fair And now the election he’s about to lose is gonna be rigged again And how he has to change the structures in place from the fair elections to make things right again

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

A large part of Lindsay Graham’s legacy is going to be defined by… His close friendship with John McCain …followed immediately by… His close friendship with the man who essentially spit on John McCain’s grave

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

Another Weird Week Anti FIFA Edition

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

Any NY Knick fan who saw what the president did to the US World Cup team, has to be thanking the lord above that the NBA Championship is a multi-game series.

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

This post would get you a bereavement fare from any reputable airline

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

It’s a rare president who can make FIFA seem more corrupt… Summer Shows * July 17 - NYC * July 22 - Omaha * July 23 - Des Moines * Jul 25 - Buffalo * Jul 30 - Louisville * Jul 31-Aug 1 - Batavia, IL * Aug 6 - Springfield, MO * Aug 7-8 - Tulsa * Aug 9 - OKC * Aug 20-22 - Lawrence, KS * Aug 23 - KC

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

I get asked a lot if there’s anything I’d credit the president for doing Welp…gotta give him this one… Being able to out-corrupt FIFA is a feat for which he’s uniquely qualified

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

The GOP’s trick is… When capitalism isn’t working… They’ll blame socialism When it is… They’ll call it communism

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Ah the irony of a celebration of this presidency being canceled because of climate change related heat issues…

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Another Weird Week Independence Day Edition Happy Fourth & Happy World Cup Go team USA

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

Ironically, being an Olympian canoeist likely made him more qualified to renovate that pool than the silent movie villain they hired

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

Sorry to hear about the passing of Victor Willis, front man for the Village People Also also thoughts & prayers to the president who may have just learned the lead singer of YMCA was black

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

I mean, how do you not order all of these? (as a native Texan, even an extra tortilla is useful)

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

People say the president tells it like it is But when Milli-Vanilli backs out of his event, authenticity might not be his strong suit

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

Another Weird Week Pool Around & Pond Out Edition

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

Another Weird Week Retreat-y of Versailles Edition Father’s Day Weekend Shows June 19-20 - Detroit June 21 - Cleveland

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

President says he doesn’t want to be Herbert Hoover But based on current economic trajectory along with his rap sheet… I think Pervert Hoover is a better fit

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

As a nod to this way worse version of the Obama deal - gotten by a making things way worse for Americans - we should call this the JC POS

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 17/06/2026

Happy Father’s Day - This weekend in Detroit - Father’s Day in Cleveland More June/July Dates: * 6/25 - Orlando * 6/28 - Chester, NY * 7/22 - Omaha * 7/23 - Des Moines * 7/25 - Buffalo * 7/30 - Louisville * 7/31-8/1 - Batavia, IL

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

Juneteenth during Pride & Hurricane Season might be more than this admin can handle.

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 12/06/2026

Another Weird Week Knicks vs. Bone Spurs Edition Summer live standup dates * 6/12-14 - Rutherford, NJ * 6/19-20 - Detroit, MI * 6/21 - Cleveland * 6/25 - Orlando, FL * 6/28 - Chester, NY * 7/22 - Omaha, NE * 7/23 - Des Moines, IA * 7/25 - Buffalo, NY * 7/30 - Louisville, KY * 8/31-8/1 - Batavia, IL

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

OG life lesson. Everyone will remember you making a final shot. But the fact that you also made the final block, and steadily kept your team in the game when all seemed lost, will probably go unnoticed … even though those were the most important parts

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

What if we replaced hurricane preparedness with UFC fights & ballrooms

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 06/06/2026

Regardless of your take on Graham Platner’s allegations and/or accuser It might also be worth consideration If the accusations were way worse & he was a Republican judge …Susan Collins would 100% vote him onto the Supreme Court

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

Another Weird Week Pride & Protest-ICE Edition June Standup Dates * 6/10 - Syracuse, NY * 6/11 - Albany, NY * 6/12-13 - Rutherford, NJ * 6/19-20 - Detroit, MI * 6/21 - Cleveland * 6/25 - Orlando, FL * 6/28 - Chester, NY

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Jason Salmon @jsalmoncomedy.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

They keep saying the president barely sleeps. They forget to include “…in his bed”

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