iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

I have written so many band bios this year. I know so much autobiographical information

Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Can’t take no more two factor authentication man I just fuckin can’t type in any more codes sent to my phone no more please I am begging you

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

“Salami rose Joe Lewis.” Hell no

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

There is no greater asset to the local music scene journalist than the instagram downloader website, if this thing ever dies I will have to quit

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Right now I love Biddy Blas but I can guarantee you that in like 5 days I will hate that fucker with an unrelenting intensity for absolutely no reason

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Talked to my therapist about my laundry list of body images issues and when she repeated them back to me she added “looking tired” to it. Damn! I did not say that!

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Really pissed me off when I learned that DAZN is pronounced “da zone.” Go fuck yourself

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Upon further reflection I have come to realize that there was no second 9/11 so I think it worked

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Being involved with local music on any level is deeply embarrassing. I coulda just been trading Raytheon stocks this whole time and I wouldn’t be thinking about this

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

I’m subtweeting crazy style now but in the comments for one of these kinds of shows I saw someone say “i gotta get my pizza on one of these events” and it made me fall into a deep existential pit. Can you book my pizza on your show

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

If I ever book a show that inexplicably features vendors and DJs just know I have lost my damn mind

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

He rocked. The beer can was out of love

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Doing this was a dream come true and I couldn’t have done it without the help of @kendralpk.bsky.social. I love rock and roll

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

They will never make me hate Dave Meltzer

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Got my first “are you jorty spice” of gonerfest we are NOT making it off the substack

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I can fuck and suck the Monte Carlo in the street

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Have been using Eddie Dennis as the ultimate example of “no one’s favorite wrestler” for years. Cannot believe that he got the belt because he was a legit shooter guy. What is wrong with British wrestling lmfao

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Had a dream last night that i found the only hat on earth that perfectly fit my head

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Just watched someone pour themselves a big ass mug of yellow chartreuse at the folk house show

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

“Luncheon” gotta be the dumbest fucking word in the English language. We already got “lunch.” What is “luncheon” doing that “lunch” isn’t? Also what is the deal with airline food

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Lil B spending 2 minutes calling Kevin Durant a bitch on Fuck KD and then insisting that he’s “never” seen him play basketball is so deeply funny to me

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

This was about booking a show, not work. Bet you didn’t see that coming!!!!

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Someone cleaned the toilets DURING the damn digital americana church show

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

There is a very small range of ages that understands when to use the reply all button and i think I’m on the lower end of it but the top end is only, like, 5 years above me

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Everytime i see a video of mononeon i feel like someone is pulling a prank on me

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

They should let you attach pictures of your penis to letterboxd reviews

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

PUBLIC OPINION bucket really killing me here

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

I don’t think Charlie Brown was thinking that

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

What’s the female version of “unc?” I’m trying to say something mean to my wife

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Just learned that the company i worked for instituted badging into the office right after 9/11. Did they think that was going to prevent a second 9/11

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Kwik chek bathroom gotta be one of the unhappiest places in Memphis

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

The unique brand of contempt my dermatologist has for me is so strange. I tell him I’ve had an itchy neck rash for months and he doesn’t believe me. Buddy, do you think im trying to scam oxys from you or what? I don’t want to be here either

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Metallica - St. Anger. Really set me on a path of loving music that sounds like shit

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Big day: officially put my real name on the MDR Observer byline because someone I’ve met multiple times identified me as a “writer” but could not remember my name

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

Got recognized as “the Memphis see/saw guy” at the sweeping promises show last night, please clap

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

Asshole Badman will be the hottest action figure of 2005

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

Yeah im writing a movie and i got a guy in it his name is Asshole Badman and he’s got four arms and talks like an asthmatic robot. You have to watch the cartoon to find out why. Nothing about Asshole Badman will be explained in the movie itself, you just have to accept his existence. Fuck you

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

“General grievous” is the craziest name in all of fiction. Subtlety is for fucking morons

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

I went to the dr pepper museum the other day and there was an exhibit on racism in there. What in the fuck is dr pepper going to tell me about racism that I don’t already know

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Every single time I write anything I try to out the word “miasma” in it and I FINALLY figured out how to not just shoehorn it into some bullshit. I am so happy. This is the best day of my life. I learned that word when I was 13 playing an MMO that my mom told me was rotting my brain. LOOK AT ME NOW

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

My dad said “compooter” to me today totally unironically lol

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Been thinking about this all day

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Thank you, one of three people I wanted to see this

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

This is the kinda thing I’m posting on here for the three people that like my posts. They are all people I talk to nearly daily. This is easier. Did y’all see this? It was crazy

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Someone wearing a bdsm dog pet play mask while driving by themselves just flashed their lights at my wife because she had her brights on alright lol get your own shit together

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Locked in (derogatory), off the shit (derogatory)

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

I was the last person in line to early vote and everyone at the polling place treated me really special. They made it feel like my vote was the only one that mattered, which I am just going to pretend is true

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Jorty Spice @jortyspice.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Creed’s my own prison is one of the top 50 best songs ever hands down

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