iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

They called him Ivan the Terrible, but from what I've read he was quite effective.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

My cat Diego is a good hunter. He also has no nads. He's a nonadic hunter.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 10/11/2025

I think it's time we as a nation decide how to pronounce the first syllable of Pulitzer.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 15/10/2025

Can I be honest? I don't know what actually happens if I choose to skip my pin number.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 31/07/2025

It's all a matter of context, isn't it?

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 22/07/2025

If they remake The Highlander, I think Billy Idol should replace Sean Connery.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 22/07/2025

I bet if vampires really existed, they would have themed restaurants.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 17/07/2025

They should make Smurf Jerky. It would be blue and have Smurfs on the packaging, but would be otherwise identical to other jerky.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 16/07/2025

The government considers me A Queer and Pleasant Danger.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 12/07/2025

If you do something that's on your to-do list, you're basically sabotaging your to-do list, so I'm against it

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 11/07/2025

I always have the feeling that the name Jim is short for a different name.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 11/07/2025

Every dinosaur we have found so far has been already dead, so I think we can assume they are all dead.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 21/06/2025

Do they have Dunkin Donuts in Germany because if they do i have a kickass slogan for them

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 16/06/2025

Like the G in lasagna, real G's move in silence.

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Reposted by Jonty Kershaw

the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 12/06/2025

the thing about not having an algorithm here is it's ok to have one fucking place that's not a popularity contest. we have the nielsen ratings. we have the charts. we have meta. everything is is already a popularity contest and it fucking sucks, globally. we can have one place where you vibe it out

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Reposted by Jonty Kershaw

Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social · 12/06/2025

Journalists push the “dead Bsky” narrative because we call them out on their role as complicit in everything that’s happening. They’re showing up to a party covered in cow shit and getting mad when people tell them they stink. It’s not that deep

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 06/06/2025

Most people don't know this, but the Home Alone movies are set in The Marvel Universe.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 04/06/2025

One of the Great Lies of western civilization is quiche.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 15/05/2025

Rough day. I have been laboriously writing a Y2K survival book, but my publisher informs me that they have gone out of style.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 11/05/2025

It's easy to improvise a song to your cat, because their language almost entirely rhymes.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 07/05/2025

Hear me out: The next Wonder Woman...should be a drag queen.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 01/05/2025

Years. Years, now. And I'm still trying to get one person to say "What's Updog?"

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 25/04/2025

If you spelled it right, The Country Club would be a good name for a strip club.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

Why don't they make prune ice cream? Surely the taste and the diarrhea aren't the only reasons.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 09/04/2025

Is there a button on bluesky that blocks all the crappy Manga artwork I keep seeing, and if so where is it?

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 09/04/2025

I've been playing this video game on my phone called Robinhood. I used to be really good at it. I didn't know why my score is dropping suddenly.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 07/04/2025

If things keep going the way they are, I may have to move back to the UK. I haven't lived there since I was 11, so I will probably have to take immigrant classes to learn how to pay my taxes and get ID's.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 04/04/2025

Why do the conservatives get all the warm states? That seems unfair.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 28/03/2025

It's 2:30. Time to listen to my daily loan pre-approval scam voicemail.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

When was a kid, I wanted to be Doctor Who. And not an actor playing Doctor Who; Doctor Who.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 12/03/2025

What if all of this was a giant trick to get conservative Americans to buy electric cars?

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 11/03/2025

Eventually the Americans will have to send Obama on an actual apology tour. "Sorry we let a death cult take over our government. Again."

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 11/03/2025

There is no such word as "Durpentine". I checked, so you don't have to.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 27/02/2025

Somebody needs to record an annoying song called "This is What You Voted For" so we can reply to Trumpers' posts when they lose their jobs. It's not a mature response, but it would make us feel good for a few seconds.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

One thing I think is funny is how old science fiction movies got the sounds alien spaceships make sooo wrong! 😆

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

I'd really like to raise bees, but I think I would struggle to come up with names for all of them.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 13/02/2025

If the Vikings lived in such cold places, why did they wear muscle shirts so much of the time?

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

I bet the Germans are feeling off the hook right now.

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Reposted by Jonty Kershaw

Liz, a queen of sharks- @thesharkqueen.com · 06/02/2025

Nothing will get better soon because too many people can’t let go of how big you feel when you punch down.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 05/02/2025

If I were the test pilot for the world's first time machine, I would go back in time, put a bald wig on, and glue fur all over my face. When I returned, I would point at all the scientists and scream, "Oh my God, you're all bald!"

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

I feel as though the Democrats are going to pull a Tea Party. There's too much division between the active progressive voters and the passive moderates. I'm hearing the term "Shitlibs" being thrown around by Democrats toward other Democrats.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 13/01/2025

I wish I was someone who could rest on their laurels. That sounds cool. I could spend the rest of my life doing absolutely nothing useful, and people would point at me and whisper, "That's the guy who invented the compass sponge and saved us all!"

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

This morning I forgot the existence of coffee for an hour or so, and when I remembered I was filled with a great sense of joy. No, I'm not joking.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

I have always wanted to be one of those people who knows about knots. You can stroll up to someone and say, "What are you trying to do there, son? Oh, for that you need a Left-Handed Fisherman's Friend." Or something.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 07/01/2025

Somebody should invent a hot fizzy drink, so you can be refreshed in the winter without your insides getting cold.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 06/01/2025

I have an intuitive ability to look at someone and tell if their name is Ray. I call it my Raydar.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 25/12/2024

I like prosecco, but it terrifies me to think that there might be a parallel negative universe that contains antisecco.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

Folks, remember not to eat with your family this Thanksgiving: Sharing food is socialism.

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Jonty Kershaw @jontytbp.bsky.social · 25/11/2024

If the wheels come off your car, you fix your car or get a better car. You don't set fire to your car, declare that cars are evil, and declare that you're going to ride unicorns to work like they did in mining camps in the Wild West.

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