iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

John Valhalla

@johnvalhalla.bsky.social

HAIL ETERNAL VICEROY! 🚩 Valhallan 🚩 Patriot 🚩, proud Captain, destroyer of DISSIDENCE. Vlendr 2028! RIP Valhalla Internationale, you will be missed.

Posts Replies Media

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 14/03/2026

???: I have a task for you, Apollo. Apollo: What is it, master? ???: Leave… the Virtual Viceroyalty of Valhalla… join… niche friend group servers… begin… the mutiny… *the man steps out from the shadows* Adolf Hitler: Do not disappoint me, Captain.

He has returned with a new curse upon the Viceroyalty…

051

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 13/11/2025

Can’t read this rn. Busy

140

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 11/11/2025

You killed the Moderate. Now you get the Radical.

170

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 11/11/2025

👀

030

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 10/11/2025

bsky.app/profile/them...

010

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 09/11/2025

Oh God.

051

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 09/11/2025

WOAH! LOOK! A PHOTO OF THE SKY! DO YOU GUYS THINK IF I ATTACH A VAGUE, MEANINGLESS QUESTION WITH THIS IMAGE, AND THEN POST IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA, PEOPLE WILL THINK I’M NORMAL?

153

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 07/11/2025

010

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 05/11/2025

#TAGYOURSELFBELOW #HOWRAPEDWEREYOU New Valhalla is a SAFE SPACE for ALL VICTIMS of RAPE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, and UNWANTED GROPING. Even YOU, my friend! Apply to become a member of the Viceroyalty of New Valhalla today, and join the #RAPESQUAD!

473

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

020

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 02/11/2025

Two EQC whiteshirts talking about the Ants when a Valhallan who knows 3 and a half things about the Sunscarred Militia walks in

083

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 26/10/2025

???: I have a task for you, Cheery. Cheery: What is it, master? ???: Leave the Viceroyalty of New Valhalla... add... Pastriellie on Discord... join... the Sunscarred Militia... *the man steps out from the shadows* Adolf Hitler: Do not disappoint me... great Velvetonner.

4114

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 25/10/2025

094

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 18/10/2025

Vraetoria adds you to a group chat with several HRs and says "Are you able to turn on your screenshare?"

0112

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 11/10/2025

🚨🌙 BREAKING — Former Secretary Midnight of the Black Bunny Mafia has been ARRESTED by a joint ICE-EQC raid on her apartment complex earlier this morning. Sources from her Connecticut tenement claim she allegedly stated "this raid doesn't count" and that she was "just an innocent smol bean".

1126

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 09/10/2025

🚨🌐 BREAKING — SCM Vizier Pastriellie Physically Abused His Dogs "Wellington” and "Liberty", Calling Them “EC spies" for Not Pretending the Sunscarred Militia is "Separate from the Extended Community"

2115

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 05/10/2025

I'm a certified badass.

281

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 05/10/2025

Maybe Sorelm was right. We're lowkey sleeping on Valencia Valhalla porn.

586

John Valhalla @johnvalhalla.bsky.social · 03/10/2025

Younghoon Kim, world record holder for the highest IQ, has announced that Viceroy Vlendr has the largest penis of all time.

3114