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John Roscoe

@johnroscoe.bsky.social
2.5K followers 947 following 6.2K posts

"It's not easy having a good time... even smiling makes my face ache." I take photographs and crack jokes; a meditative creative. I used to be @JohnCRoscoe on Twitter; I'm John Roscoe all over the place.

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 20m
"Wh- where am I?" "Welcome! I am St. Peter, and these-" "The Pearly Gates!" "Precisely. What is your name, my child, that I might find you in The Book of Life?" "Jim Baker, reservation for one." "Let's see... Babcock, Baird... oh. Oh dear." "What? Is there a prob-" "Get thee into the Hellivator."
static.klipy.com
Heaven's Welcome Gate Opens to Bright Sky
ALT: Heaven's Welcome Gate Opens to Bright Sky
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 12h
"Ach! Zee Chermans are *goot* people; zey giff me ziss natty Hugo Boss outfit!" bragged Rolf.
Rolf from The Sound of Music.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 12h
Pay somebody to pick up my carrot tops and coffee grinds? Oh hell no. I brew compost like it's a rare liquer. I dose and rotate my banana peels and apple cores with mathematical precision augmented by artistic inspiration. My compost is manna from heaven, a life-giving protoplasmic earth-mother.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 13h
L O W E R !
static.klipy.com
Lowlimbo Challenge Performance
ALT: Lowlimbo Challenge Performance
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 19h
Low door jambs?
static.klipy.com
Concussion CTE: Brain Model in Skull
ALT: Concussion CTE: Brain Model in Skull
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 20h
You can fool some of the people all of the time... ...but the rest of the people will see you taking advantage of those gullible people and remember what a dick you were for friggin' DECADES.
thewalrus.ca
Is It Treason to Ask America to Help Break Up Canada? | The Walrus
The growing relationship between Alberta separatists and US political actors demands a response
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 21h
"Taking time off to be with my famil-l-lookie here, a vacancy at Fox News!" I wonder if Stacey McGunnigle will revisit her interpretation?
youtu.be
Karoline Leavitt says goodbye! | This Hour Has 22 Minutes
YouTube video by 22 Minutes
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 23h
FTFY: Accept 'bad things' [happening to you and your loved ones] in return for benefits of AI [reaped by myself and my cronies in the form of dynastic wealth that will protect our progeny against the evil we unleash for generations to come] says Sam Altman [laughing maniacally like a Bond villain].
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Oooooooklahoma wherethewindcomessweepingdowntheplain!
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
C'mon, you really think they could do *worse?*
stock photo cute fish
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
• May 2020, Operation "Orcas Roll a Yachtzie" tested human nautical defences; • eight months ago, Operation "Jellyfish Meltdown" revealed vulnerabilities in terrestrial nuclear facilities; • now, Operation "Sperm Crush" cements the Neptunian alliance. Humans have had their time. Give fish a chance!
independent.co.uk
Gang of eight sperm whales sink yacht after ramming boat in South Pacific
Crew described terrifying encounter as they were woken up by “loud thud” as the 52ft vessel was struck
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
This would be an excellent time for USA's public health to be guided by rational leaders with keen eyes on the horizon and a steady hand on the tiller. Instead....
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
"The best defense against the Russian pneumonic plague is a healthy immune system, and that starts with drinking raw milk and bathing in polluted streams. Oh, and ball-tanning." ~ Guy With A Voice Like Cats With Cans Tied To Their Tails Running Up A Long Corrugated Culvert To Escape A Mudslide
static.klipy.com
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Dancing in Kitchen
Alt: Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Dancing in Kitchen
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
A Thanksgiving analogy...
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Reposted by John Roscoe
Your daily John Waters screenshot @johnwatersbot.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
"Oh well, I guess we've no choice but to pay those Floridians' property taxes — there's no where else on Earth with warm weather between December & March," said the Canadian whose grasp of geography was severely limited owing to his having been dropped on his head from a great height as a child.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Back (2017-19) is some of the best work we'll ever see from a mature Mitchell-Webb; both seasons are impeccably scripted and they've brought on some gifted supporting talent (Geoffrey McGivern, in particular, is a gem). Watched the "you stole my dead body!" ep last night and we laughed like a drain.
The cast of Back.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
"Hey ducky! Does your drake got pecs like these? Watch: I'll make 'em dance!" Bloody herons — buncha creeps. But this jerk is still my #WingsOpenNotFlying #BirdOfTheDay. #BOTD #EastCoastKin #Birds #Bird #Photography #Birding #Birders #Birdwatching #NaturePhotographer #BirdsOfBluesky #Birdwatchers
A Heron suns itself on the riverbank as a duck floats blithely past.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
1 minute after fat uncle loosens belt, the desire for more turkey and stuffing skyrockets at family gathering.
ctvnews.ca
1 day after suspension of provincial gas tax, the price at the pump skyrockets in Calgary
One day after the province paused its 13-cent gas tax, gas prices jumped more than 30 cents at several Calgary stations, to $1.75.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Up To Eleven: Volume Knobs
ALT: Up To Eleven: Volume Knobs
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Reposted by John Roscoe
John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Attention, passengers of the S.S. Cutanic: we have struck an adorbsberg and will drown in a sea of sweet sweet kitten love. #Caturday365 #Caturdaycuties #CaturdayMorning #CaturdayCatCafe #Caturday
Our delightful 7 month old tabby, Olivia Colman poses for a sleepy photo reclining between a pair of bare feet on the couch.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
🎼I ate his liver with some fava beans🎶 🎶 and a big Amarone.🎵
static.klipy.com
McDonald's Hamburglar Thinking
ALT: McDonald's Hamburglar Thinking
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I thought it was weird when McDonald's co-opted a Brecht-Weill ballad from Die Dreigroschenoper celebrating a murderous fiend to sell late-night access to hamburgers and milkshakes. But such are the curious mysteries of an ever-evolving memesphere, I guess.
en.wikipedia.org
Mack the Knife - Wikipedia
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I'm lucky — I plateaued early and started looking seventy when I was about thirty, and I've just been growing into it ever since. It's the Abe Vigoda school of Aging Gracefully.
Abe Vigoda as Fish on Barney Miller. He looked like that for about fifty years.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Olivia Colman, ladies and gentlemen.
A languid 7 month old tabby named Olivia Colman stretches paws to reveal she's remarkably long.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Attention, passengers of the S.S. Cutanic: we have struck an adorbsberg and will drown in a sea of sweet sweet kitten love. #Caturday365 #Caturdaycuties #CaturdayMorning #CaturdayCatCafe #Caturday
Our delightful 7 month old tabby, Olivia Colman poses for a sleepy photo reclining between a pair of bare feet on the couch.
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Reposted by John Roscoe
Kevin Parry @kevinbparry.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I made a book to learn animation by actually moving stuff on activity pages! www.stopmotionbook.com It's a digital download so you can print it at home :)
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Be My Guest (a play in one act) [curtain up] ENTER RIGHT, PREMIER SMITH: I demand Ottawa get out of our way! ENTER LEFT, PM CARNEY: Ok, done. PREMIER SMITH: Great! Hey [whistles], investors! [silence] PREMIER SMITH: Uh... investors? [silence] PREMIER SMITH: Oh shi- [exit trapdoor] [curtain down]
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
"Blesséd are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth." "You mean the appliances and thermostats and stuff?" "What? No. Why would you-" "Like smart watches and scheduling agents and LLMs?" "Definitely not. The meek are-" "Pretty sure you mean the toaster from Red Dwarf, tho. Right?" "Oh My Dad."
Oil painting sermon on the mountTalkie Toaster from Red Dwarf.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
BREAKING we are going up real fast no hold on everybody's taking a hard left and then look out we're going right and spiraling down and left again no no wait....
static.klipy.com
Murmuration of Birds in Cloudy Sky
ALT: Murmuration of Birds in Cloudy Sky
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
So he's only going to places where he'll surely win? Reminds me of the joke about the old-timer searching around the parking lot behind the bar. "You lose something, pops?" "Lost my car keys in the bar." "In the bar?" "In the bar." "So... why don't you look for them in the-" "Too dark in the bar."
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
It's that time of year again! INFOMERCIAL "I wanna turn my lungs into a Litterbox Of The Outdoors, packing each tiny alveoli with decaying flora, desiccated insect parts and dry old bits of bird and rodent poo — but I DON'T wanna spend a lot of money. What can I do?" GET YOURSELF A LEAF BLOWER!
Some dude leaf blowing like an idiot.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Ladies and gentlemen, our main feature is about to begin. Please turn off or silence electronic devices like your phone or smart watch and enjoy today's screening of... Peter Navarro: Exactly Where His Ass Is
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I EVEN SHOWED HIM MY PERSONAL HELI PAD
trump yelling at kid mowing lawn
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
With an election just weeks away, Trump denies journalists access to his plane? Thank goodness that could never happen in Cana-
globalnews.ca
Poilievre won’t allow media to travel with him on election campaign - National | Globalnews.ca
The Conservative party is breaking from tradition and will not be allowing media onboard planes and buses to cover Pierre Poilievre's election campaign.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
According to NPR this morning, it's "trade tensions" keeping Canadians away. Which is like saying "inclement weather" explains the vacancy rate at the Bog of Eternal Stench Hotel.
static.klipy.com
Ludo Labyrinth: Smell Bad
Alt: Ludo Labyrinth: Smell Bad
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
We might never know exactly how much Doug Ford signing this contract in the first place is going to cost us, but it's likely several Pj. Electing grifty blowhards with poor impulse control is *really* expensive; maybe let's stop doing that, hey neighbour?
cbc.ca
Ontario ministers defend secret payout to Elon Musk's SpaceX over nixed Starlink deal | CBC News
Ontario ministers defended keeping secret the province's payout to Elon Musk's SpaceX over a cancelled Starlink contract, as critics accused the government of obfuscation during the recent release of ...
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Is it "trade tensions" keeping Canadians away? "Shall we go to USA?" "Gosh; haven't we some tariff dispute with them?" I don't think that's it. More like... "Shall we wade into the toxic, hateful playground of an addled megalomaniac who's repeatedly threatened to annex our nation?" "Oh hell no."
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
It's like a chronic infection that "flares up" when opportunity presents.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
His obsession with testosterone has drawn comparisons to Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper from the same film; some kind of hybrid, perhaps?
static.klipy.com
I Do Not Avoid Women
ALT: I Do Not Avoid Women
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
"My poolboy's poolboy says his gardener had to fire his poolboy!"
static.klipy.com
Lucille Bluth: What Could a Banana Cost?
ALT: Lucille Bluth: What Could a Banana Cost?
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Phase 2 is a doozy.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Head office needs you to find the difference between these pictures.
A hawk.Alan Alda as Hawkeye on MASH
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
With apologies to the good people of Schoolhouse Rock...
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
A sudden thud like distant thunder and the time machine materializes. Louis Pasteur steps out! "Where — I mean 'when' — am I?" "This is the year 2026, Mr. Pasteur." "Egad! What scientific advances have been made lo these many decades?" "[whisper whisper]" "What the blazes is wrong with you people?"
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
If Peter Navarro were sat in the best seat in an IMAX theatre and shown the documentary, "Peter Navarro: Exactly Where His Ass Is" combining archival footage, expert witness testimony and colourful maps and charts narrated by Sir David Attenborough... ...he still couldn't find it with both hands.
On fox news Peter Navarro says Canada has been taken over by Mexican Cartels.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Even if it's on sale. And it is!
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
"C'mon, Scott. Everybody's making one. Please?" "No. I'm sorry Pierre, but no. I won't do it." "Actually, the video is mandatory. And it's not even you, really." "It looks like me. I will NOT wear a clock around my neck and-" "[sigh] Make an AI hip-hop lip-sync video or you're out, Scott." LATER...
ctvnews.ca
Conservative MP Scott Aitchison to resign by end of year: source
Conservative MP Scott Aitchison is resigning his seat from Parliament by the end of the year, according to a source close to him.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
"This is the beginning of an American healthcare renaissance: our dialysis machines are *world class* and demand is off the charts — we can't make 'em fast enough." ~ Dude With A Voice Like Frozen Turkey Parts Rattling Down A Fire Escape Which Empties Into An Alley Where a Boy Scout is Being Mugged
A kidney dialysis machine in use by a middle aged man, off screen right.
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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This is cause for some serious strategic analysis for Mr. Poilievre. There's going to be some *big* changes from the residents of Stornoway in the days to come. Can't wait for the next A.I.-generated hip-hop lip-sync to drop.
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