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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

So I've been told that today is the National Day of Prayer. It's not really my thing, but this particular prayer really speaks to me, so what the heck. You can probably guess who it's directed at.

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 25/03/2026

So I hear the Army just raised its enlistment age and there are rumors of a draft if Mango Mussolini decides we need boots on the ground in Iran. And to all the redpilled Gen-Z manosphere denizens who turned the election for Trump because Joe Fucking Rogan told them to, I can only say:

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

I mean, the least he could have done was buy me dinner first. #uranus

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 12/02/2026

I've noticed that the higher the percentage of Happy Horseshit Business-Speak you see in the missives from upper management, the closer they are to instituting mass layoffs. #CorporateAmerica #HangAllTheCEOs

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 12/01/2026

Not that any of the bootlicking MAGA cultists will answer any of these questions, but they need to be asked just the same.

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 02/12/2025

Your friendly reminder that there are just 21 non-shopping, grievance-building, aluminum-pole-procuring, feats-of-strength-training days remaining until Festivus. Your fake donation cards to The Human Fund are in the mail. LET'S RUMBLE!!! #festivus #festivusfortherestofus

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 04/11/2025

Looks like his frantic attempts to guarantee eternal life by bathing daily in the blood of Iraqi civilians didn't work after all. Adios, war criminal. Enjoy Hell.

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 25/08/2025

This is some Hunter Thompson-esque level prose right here, and a perfect summation of everything Mango Mussolini is.

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 18/07/2025

Today is Hunter S. Thompson's birthday. Here are his thoughts about a criminally insane Republican president, George W. Bush. I wonder what he would've thought about our current, exponentially more criminally insane Republican president. Actually, I don't wonder at all. It's obvious. #hst #gonzo

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 17/07/2025

Yes, calling the scandal that has motivated your movement for five years a "hoax" and your own followers "weaklings" whose support you "don't even want anymore" is guaranteed to get everyone stop talking about Epstein. Masterful strategy, sir. 4D chess, etc, etc. #DonaldTrumpIsAPedophile

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 04/07/2025

On this, the 249th birthday of our rapidly disintegrating nation, we have a new national anthem. It was written in 1987. Who knew Axl Rose was a prophet??!?

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 04/07/2025

"And I heard it in the wind And I saw it in the sky And I thought it was the end I thought it was the Fourth of July"

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 09/06/2025

The gun-stockpiling, Gadsden flag-waving "patriot" types have been yammering on about an impending authoritarian government takeover for decades, and now that the takeover is actually happening, they literally can't lick the boots hard enough. Gee, I guess they were full of shit this whole time

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 08/05/2025

The first American Pope ever, *and* he's a vocal Trump critic? No way in hell that was an accident. It's one thing to push Canada and Australia left, but the VATICAN? Trump's power to unite the world* is truly astounding. *against him

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 07/04/2025

(not pictured: guy who shot hole in boat blaming Biden as his lungs fill with water)

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 02/04/2025

(furious air guitaring to GN'R intensifies)

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 23/03/2025

100 years ago today, He arose. PH'NGLUI MGLW'NAFH CTHULHU R'LYEH WHAG'NAGL FHTAGN!!! IÄ!!! IÄ! #Cthulhu #ReasonForTheSeason

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 12/03/2025

Your friendly reminder that in just 11 days, Great Cthulhu will rise from His slumber in sunken R'Lyeh and turn all of humanity into a tasty snack. Honestly, at this point it's probably for the best.

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 13/02/2025

We're on the verge of a full blown H5N1 pandemic and a brainworm-addled vaccine denier will be in charge of whether we get vaccines or even get informed if it starts spreading. Maybe stock up on N95s, is what I'm saying here.

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

Places in Scotland Named Butt, Part Deux

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 22/01/2025

I'm ready to go. Get me the hell out of this trailer park of a country. #FreeCascadia #CascadiaNow #getmeoutofhere

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Jethro Q. Walrustitty @jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social · 16/01/2025

I was today years old when I learned that there's a place in Scotland called Butt that has a bed and breakfast called Butt Lodge. So if you visit the area and stay at the b&b, you can say you were LODGED IN BUTT.

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