Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 7hHe’s actually quite a clean and nice fellow until he finds gross water or mud to flop in He also gets a lot of baths because he’s really good at finding gross water and mud to flop in 240
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 7hOnce we were due to leave for a week. Dogs were boarded. Cat was to be checked daily. Except… we couldn’t him. We lived in Colorado with coyotes everywhere. Panicked. Cried. Left food outside. Cat sitter found him inside. He’d ripped the cloth of our box spring and was lying in it like a hammock. 020
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 7hWe definitely had a harder day than he did. He was really sweet (and stinky) when I found him though. 130
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 15hShe is so good. She doesn’t ever leave my sight when we’re out of the house. (Or rather, I, her sheep, do not leave hers.) 010
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 15hNo because he’s a pointer (Brittanys are often called Brittany spaniels, but they’re closer to German shorthaired pointers in behavior) so it he catches up to it, he just points at it 🤦♀️ 210
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 15hYes, it’s NOT cheap. If I didn’t have a crackhead hunting dog and an unfenced yard, I wouldn’t pay for it. 020
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 16hWe use the Halo collar. They are really expensive but they are reliable and have a pretty big range, and you can draw custom fences and set sound/vibration feedback around the boundary. It does have a haptic/shock option but we don’t use it. (This is not an ad.) 210
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 16hMaybe tomorrow. Today he’s just a shithead. A shithead who will get a zillion kisses and lots of lecturing today 150
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 16hLook at this asshole Chased a squirrel and ended up running two miles away through the woods Thank god he had a GPS collar on 10302
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 17hOne of my dogs ran away for about an hour this morning (he's home safe now!), and I am so drained from the adrenaline spike that I'm tempted to declare the day a wash and just start the weekend now. 6370
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 01/10/2026Listen on Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/38kXiQx... Or on YouTube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a8y... (It's audio only, but available via both platforms!)youtube.comLet's Get Weird (and Wonderful) | Ms. Miscellany with Shannon Miller and Jess ZafarrisYouTube video by Ms. Miscellany with Shannon Miller & Jess Zafarris 150
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 01/10/2026One podcast was simply not enough! My coauthor Shannon Miller and I started a casual little pod called Ms. Miscellany. For our first episode it's just us, but in the following episodes we'll interview interesting people about their career twists and the fun facts they've learned along the way. 2284
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 01/10/2026He is GORGEOUS. 😍 But yes, this dog is more work than any other I have ever owned. Almost no off-switch and wants tasks and engagement 18 hours a day. The cuteness definitely helps. 110
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 01/10/2026Yes there is a reason I did not try this on my Brittany first. (Also, pics!) 110
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026Unfortunately the face holes don't hold up to any movement whatsoever 020
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026Tried to make Fable a ghost costume and found it’s a bit harder than it looks Will update with attempt no. 2 9551
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026I tell people to get the hard copies of my Chambers books because they look nice on display AND they make you look smart 100
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026They did a wonderful job with it. The way the dust cover wraps around is so neat. 010
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026Gaahhh my publisher has copies in London but I don’t have mine yet! Gimmegimmegimme 6542
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026static.klipy.comMoomin Moomin Holding KnifeALT: Moomin Moomin Holding Knife 000
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026I love when people get it from the library too!! Thanks so much. 010
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026There's so much wrong with this, but let's start with the fact that its first recorded spellings in English included chaa, cha, tcha, chia, cia, and tay. 110
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026That's gotta be the wildest faux acronym claim I've ever come across! 100
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026Really, if it was used prior to the mid-19th century, it's almost certainly not an acronym. 110
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026Thank you! This time my books will pay for two months of groceries instead of two weeks! 030
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026Someone hit me with the whole "fuck is an acronym" myth yesterday, so here's a reminder of why that claim makes absolutely no fucking sense. (And shit isn't an acronym either!) uselessetymology.com/2026/09/29/f...uselessetymology.com“Fuck” Isn’t an Acronym, and Other Etymological FuckeryThe following is a modified excerpt from my second book, Words from Hell. Many armchair etymologists like to claim that the infamous F-bomb is an acronym, standing for phrases such as “fornication … 95111
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026NOTE: I don't earn royalties for my first book, Once Upon a Word, which (because it's been out since 2020) has sold the most copies. Useless Etymology is on track to beat it, though! 1361
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026Got my first four-digit book royalty payment (beyond advances) 🥲 Just a reminder that even when you've sold 80K+ copies, authors do it for the love of the story and definitely not for the money 😆 Thanks to everyone who bought a book! 1138018
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026My husband would want the elephant, but I wouldn’t say no. I’d like a particularly snuggly Komodo dragon. 110
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 28/09/2026I have three dogs, a cat, and a turtle because law, convention, and safety prevent me from living my true dreams 7491
Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 28/09/2026Mass manifestations of social dysfunction. Well played. 120