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Jess Zafarris

@jesszafarris.com
4.2K followers 377 following 3.7K posts

Author of USELESS ETYMOLOGY, WORDS FROM HELL, ONCE UPON A WORD, INTO THE WORDS. Podcaster, Words Unravelled. Adjunct prof at Emerson and UFL. Speaker, content director, social pro, ad world wordsmith. linktr.ee/JessZafarris

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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 7h
He’s actually quite a clean and nice fellow until he finds gross water or mud to flop in He also gets a lot of baths because he’s really good at finding gross water and mud to flop in
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 7h
Once we were due to leave for a week. Dogs were boarded. Cat was to be checked daily. Except… we couldn’t him. We lived in Colorado with coyotes everywhere. Panicked. Cried. Left food outside. Cat sitter found him inside. He’d ripped the cloth of our box spring and was lying in it like a hammock.
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 7h
We definitely had a harder day than he did. He was really sweet (and stinky) when I found him though.
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 14h
Yeah really it was probably a series of squirrels
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 15h
She is so good. She doesn’t ever leave my sight when we’re out of the house. (Or rather, I, her sheep, do not leave hers.)
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 15h
No because he’s a pointer (Brittanys are often called Brittany spaniels, but they’re closer to German shorthaired pointers in behavior) so it he catches up to it, he just points at it 🤦‍♀️
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 15h
Yes, it’s NOT cheap. If I didn’t have a crackhead hunting dog and an unfenced yard, I wouldn’t pay for it.
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 16h
Hunting dog’s gonna hunt
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 16h
We use the Halo collar. They are really expensive but they are reliable and have a pretty big range, and you can draw custom fences and set sound/vibration feedback around the boundary. It does have a haptic/shock option but we don’t use it. (This is not an ad.)
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 16h
Maybe tomorrow. Today he’s just a shithead. A shithead who will get a zillion kisses and lots of lecturing today
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 16h
Look at this asshole Chased a squirrel and ended up running two miles away through the woods Thank god he had a GPS collar on
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 17h
One of my dogs ran away for about an hour this morning (he's home safe now!), and I am so drained from the adrenaline spike that I'm tempted to declare the day a wash and just start the weekend now.
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 01/10/2026
Listen on Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/38kXiQx... Or on YouTube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a8y... (It's audio only, but available via both platforms!)
youtube.com
Let's Get Weird (and Wonderful) | Ms. Miscellany with Shannon Miller and Jess Zafarris
YouTube video by Ms. Miscellany with Shannon Miller & Jess Zafarris
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 01/10/2026
One podcast was simply not enough! My coauthor Shannon Miller and I started a casual little pod called Ms. Miscellany. For our first episode it's just us, but in the following episodes we'll interview interesting people about their career twists and the fun facts they've learned along the way.
a social card about a podcast called Ms Miscellany with Shannon Miller & Jess Zafarris
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 01/10/2026
He is GORGEOUS. 😍 But yes, this dog is more work than any other I have ever owned. Almost no off-switch and wants tasks and engagement 18 hours a day. The cuteness definitely helps.
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 01/10/2026
That wasn’t very cash money of you
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 01/10/2026
Yes there is a reason I did not try this on my Brittany first. (Also, pics!)
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 01/10/2026
FUCK YEAH BACKPACK
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 01/10/2026
She is a very good baby ghost
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026
What a cheesy response
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026
🐾 👻 🐾
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026
Unfortunately the face holes don't hold up to any movement whatsoever
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026
Tried to make Fable a ghost costume and found it’s a bit harder than it looks Will update with attempt no. 2
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026
The girlies all together 🥹
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026
I tell people to get the hard copies of my Chambers books because they look nice on display AND they make you look smart
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026
They did a wonderful job with it. The way the dust cover wraps around is so neat.
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026
So prettyyyyy
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026
Gaahhh my publisher has copies in London but I don’t have mine yet! Gimmegimmegimme
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Moomin Moomin Holding Knife
ALT: Moomin Moomin Holding Knife
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 30/09/2026
I aim to please
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
I love when people get it from the library too!! Thanks so much.
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
There's so much wrong with this, but let's start with the fact that its first recorded spellings in English included chaa, cha, tcha, chia, cia, and tay.
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
That's gotta be the wildest faux acronym claim I've ever come across!
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
Really, if it was used prior to the mid-19th century, it's almost certainly not an acronym.
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
I'm gonna buy so many dog treats, lemme tell ya
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
Thank you! This time my books will pay for two months of groceries instead of two weeks!
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
Someone hit me with the whole "fuck is an acronym" myth yesterday, so here's a reminder of why that claim makes absolutely no fucking sense. (And shit isn't an acronym either!) uselessetymology.com/2026/09/29/f...
uselessetymology.com
“Fuck” Isn’t an Acronym, and Other Etymological Fuckery
The following is a modified excerpt from my second book, Words from Hell. Many armchair etymologists like to claim that the infamous F-bomb is an acronym, standing for phrases such as “fornication …
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
I absolutely must get a copy!
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
NOTE: I don't earn royalties for my first book, Once Upon a Word, which (because it's been out since 2020) has sold the most copies. Useless Etymology is on track to beat it, though!
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
🩵🩵🩵
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
Got my first four-digit book royalty payment (beyond advances) 🥲 Just a reminder that even when you've sold 80K+ copies, authors do it for the love of the story and definitely not for the money 😆 Thanks to everyone who bought a book!
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
That’s equally good logic
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
Yessss
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
Exactly!
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
My husband would want the elephant, but I wouldn’t say no. I’d like a particularly snuggly Komodo dragon.
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 29/09/2026
Yes that
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 28/09/2026
I have three dogs, a cat, and a turtle because law, convention, and safety prevent me from living my true dreams
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 28/09/2026
See?? This!
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 28/09/2026
Mass manifestations of social dysfunction. Well played.
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Jess Zafarris @jesszafarris.com · 28/09/2026
I think she might be my patron saint
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