Is loud, dangerous, and reckless (but is open to calibrating it according to the male lead)

Lord Craig, why dost thou keep the queue stagnant? Is it not time to order the execution of the pilgrim who insists he has a reservation number?

I’m afraid you’ve made an unforgivable blunder

“I know this might seem surprising coming from me. And don’t get me wrong, I’m no stranger to bread and circuses. But considering that the price of bread is ...

5/12/24 5/10/25 CALENDAR 2027

Time to move my body! Right now I’m super into Body by Hephaestus, which is power yoga while wearing a weighted tactical vest in a 140-degree room.

What exactly did we change about our Regular Beef to make it Protein Beef? Well, you can’t argue with the fact that the names are different!

I’m not blaming. I erred as much as anyone, and forgetting my gun at home probably should have been enough to reschedule the whole heist in the first place.

It has been a hot minute (ahem, 4 years) since I’ve written on the ole blogster (what) and I wanted the handful of people who remember I exist know what I’ve been up to. To anyone who s…

“I’m an adult. I can do what I want. I need a break from Zoom meetings and ‘circling back’. I need a big-ass slice of perfectly moist vanilla cake with rainb...

You see, the devil couldn’t reach you, so he sent us to test you. To torment you. To destroy your inner and outer peace.

“Imagine Snapchat doesn’t exist, and the only way to find out who’s having a party tonight is to press *69 on a landline phone and ask someone’s mom.”

Xarkax denied us our pre-scheduled lunch break, citing breaching the castle walls as the main priority. Just because we do not have the biological need to eat does not mean we do not appreciate an all...