iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

went all in at the tarot card table but lost to a guy holding the two of cups

jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

designed a tarot slot machine capable of shooting you if your fortune was bad enough, but i guess ensuring that level of integrity is frowned upon by the nanny state. also, it turns out slot machines are highly addictive

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

you may think you havent heard the country/white pride 'caucasian texas' song, but it's played 24/7 (at least subliminally) in all right wing venues: public schools churches sporting events hospitals nursing homes jails prisons car dealers chickenfila the dmv post office military bases hobbylobby

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

frankly, the failure to bring a drink to an interview demonstrates a lack of foresight and planning, while on the flip side, management's fury at the presence of a drink in the interview suggests an environment so petty and controlling that who the fuck would want to work there

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

yeah i'm ok with that britmonkey.com/2020s-politi...

another pointless political quiz, my results show
100 woke 0 chud
30 tech 70 luddite
44 hope 56 doom
86 davos 14 dubai
match greta thunberg

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

i pronounced knicks 'kennicks' once as a child and was perma-banned from nyc by proclamation but congrats or whatever

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 24/05/2026

to me the thing about twitter is it makes its users complicit. the site is owned and monetized by a nazi fascist pedo and been optimized to disseminate and promote his agenda, so it might as well explicitly state in the twitter tos that users agree to support white supremacy and childporn

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 24/05/2026

accidentally stepped on a stuffed animal called a "grogu" today. made a 50 something man cry

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

i dont know anything about how the bluesky label stuff works but all the 'journalist' corespondents dinner 2026 attendees who use bluesky should get some sort of badge attached to their account that says Fascist Shill Who Courageously Survived The WHCD2026

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

now that he's dead as doornails there should be a push to replace or modify the old chuck norris jokes with steven segal jokes, but maybe with a little (a lot) less reverential obsequiousness and a little (a lot) more slander and scornfulness

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

more stupid musings on gen x, as the discourse will never cease until they justifiably shoot us all 1 i find it a little inaccurate how the age range of 'gen x' in polling these days seems to typically include everyone from like 40-65. 20+ years is a wild range for a 'generation'

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

us govt: look, we're both megalomaniacal extortionist abusers bent on bigotry, pedophilia, and accruing ungodly wealth vatican 😊 oh my yes usg: but trump calls the shots see, so you just clap and praise us from yer fancy kidfuckin pulpit if ya know what's good for ya vatican: you wanna avignon us!?

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

if you're in DC and you're not immediately taking up smoking to flick lit cigs at the white house until it 🔥 what are you doing

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

every nuke in the rest of the world should be getting hand cranked into position to aim at the usa to ensure on the behalf of an innocent unarmed country that the conceptual deterrence of mutually assured destruction is still in play

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

everybody saying oh ho ho we gonna set up nuremberg 2.0 in philly or whatever... ain't no we. while trials and executions of the people formerly known as us citizens should take place in the occupied demilitarized zone once colloquially called 'america' they must be run by NOT us (the bad guys)

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 21/03/2026

people mock but there was once another based large adult son who also wanted cheeseburger.

image of that happy grey cat from that internet meme whut likes to has cheezburger

and elon's son probably grew up hearing the meme quoted (or misquoted) in a weird accent any time he saw his addled father

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

making a new type of eating utensils based on lawn gardening tools. all the classics. the shovel, the rake, the hoe, the sprinkler. the chain saw even.

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 16/03/2026

admittedly i like to read scifi not watch it, but thus far (halfway) dune 2021 kinda ass. dc zack snyder grade ass. melodramatic stiff af wooden acting*, obnoxious BWAAAH music/sound effects, really belabors the white savior motif. *good exceptions: harkonens, mentats, reverend mother

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 10/03/2026

the only cooking times i ever use to microwave something are, in descending order of use: 66 seconds 99 seconds 33 seconds 3 min 33 sec and finally the ultimate move: 6 min 66 sec, though you gotta stop it early if things are getting dicey in there need i say more? i am unwell perhaps

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

there should be a fun investment site where anyone can put money in together and it collects interest as a massive singular fund and then when the pres*dent croaks it pays out and everybody gets their money back plus a little bonus, just a nice way to brighten the day, like a cherry on top.

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

the lawless washington square park snowball fight will allow trump to declare martial law in new york city tonight

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

if george rr martin wanted to publish the rest of his books, that would be okay, but he did already end the story, so i could watch the tv show if i really wanted closure (apparently it's bad). tbh if i got to choose i'd much rather david gerrold finished the war against the cthorr series.

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 08/02/2026

apologies, ultralibbing out for a second

mock generic "daily news" newspaper image
headline:
fugitive fascist finks finally found
milei junior and vancequez nabbed in buenos aires
(implying that miller had been adopted by the argentine dictator javier milei and vance changed his name to vancequez)
picture of miller and vance looking creepy evil filled with pestilence and bile
pic subheadline:
alarming rise in suspicious animal deaths narrowed search

sidebar photo: a human skull (from wikipedia)
side headline:
over 9 billion served! trump skull urinal global tour continues

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 01/02/2026

one obama era hire, one trump 1st term hire, both served thru biden's run. fully trained for years. kind of a massive flaw in the argument that dems can restrain and retrain the gestapo and reform it.

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 29/01/2026

"Ladies and Gentlemen, The Democrats" (every time the democrats weaken or obfuscate an issue, or spinelessly cave in and cravenly defer to the rightwing at every negotiation/decision point, i mutter this to myself; it's become like a daily punchline to a constantly recurring unfunny joke)

just a google news screenshot with various headlines about how senate democrats want to 'rein in ice" (but only very very slightly of course) as their opening bargaining position at the negotiating table to prevent a shutdown of a psychotically evil openly fascist murdering kidnapping federal government

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 27/01/2026

healthcare for all? thats a pony renewable energy? thats a pony student loan forgiveness? thats a pony prosecuting trump crimes? thats a pony demilitarize the cops? thats a pony abolish ice? thats a pony free palestine no genocide? oh you better believe thats a pony - wil wheaton 2026

old man jasper from the simpsons threatening a paddlin'
male, aged and wrinkled, bald, white beard, simpson yellow, green shirt, grey vest
looking cranky
in a springfield elementary classroom
holding a paddlin' paddle

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 26/01/2026

bleeding kansas -> john brown -> civil war frozen minnesota -> ??? -> ???

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 25/01/2026

i think the right wing endgame on the issue of constitutional rights clearly no longer existing for everyone is that the roberts court will declare that only members in good standing of the Republican Party are entitled to such protections some real 'permadeath of the american mythos' vibes going on

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 24/01/2026

the gallows. the fucking gallows for 'em. no pasarán.

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 07/01/2026

seems like if the rules of engagement are such that slackjawed gestapo goons are allowed to murder people in the streets of america with impunity as deadeyed botoxface gestapo spokesbots lie to press cameras about it, there just plain ain't no saving this country, not even with nuremberg trials

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

ordered a thing and the shipment email contains a disclaimer from Fedex that is slightly what the heck does all that mean closely monitoring the situation? curfews? areas that remain accessible? does Fedex have some insider knowledge about martial law being imposed soon lol

Shipping Method: FedexGroundHomeDelivery
An Important Message From FedEx:

FedEx is closely monitoring this situation across the U.S. Local restrictions and curfews in certain areas across the U.S. may cause unavoidable service delays. FedEx is committed to providing service to the best of our ability and will continue to do so in areas that are accessible during this time.

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 23/11/2025

lmao some bleak headlines in the ole news feed today

image of bleak headlines from my 23nov25 google news feed
1 - the guardian saying gop/qanon fascist marge taylor greene would have led the anti-trump resistance if she didnt resign
2 - krysten sinema takes 15 hour psychedelic drug trip and now supports rfk jr's 'maha' agenda / anti-vax death machine

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 28/10/2025

democrats have proposed the first 5 members of the truth and reconciliation commission to oversee accountability and justice in the aftermath of trump's fascist despotism joe manchin krystin synema chatgpt as the baileys* merrick garland *chuck schumer's imaginary rightwing long island couple

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 22/10/2025

the only reason i didnt recognize the skull tattoo was a nazi skull tattoo was that this skull is used by all of the american military troops all the time, it was the top prize winning float decoration in the trump birthday army tank parade for crying out loud. hey wait a tick...

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 15/10/2025

in further breaking news, a groupchat allegedly belonging to crewmembers of the federation starship enterprise leaked. it was a variety of deck to deck gossip and bickering about daily minutia, holodeck use speculation, and generally abundant horniness

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 15/10/2025

breaking: shocking messages from a groupchat allegedly used by members of the jedi order were leaked; often racially disparaging nonhuman jedi members, many mocked the size and skin color of ancient revered Jedi Master Yoda, often focusing on his manner of speech or speculating about his genitalia;

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 06/10/2025

i think history will judge my 'ghost of yoplait' yogurt video game joke about my stomach problems killed at the riyadh comedy festival (i was sentenced to death)

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 06/10/2025

bari weiss's first initiative as the head of cbs is starting a hip new podcast to promote right wing ideology, she's calling it gestapo trap house

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 01/10/2025

wild how a troop must get facial electrolysis now or risk being guilty of conduct unbecoming (5 o'clock shadow)

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 26/09/2025

post saying 'jalapenos make everything better' with a pic of some chili 1 like 5k indignant replies saying 'not my daughter's surgery mishap' or 'not 9/11' having to respond to each with 'au contraire' and explaining how delicious jalapenos are and how they might brighten even the worst of times

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 26/09/2025

reposted without all my typos in the alt txt (i have a case of friday fingers i guess)

fixing typos, its the adult swim show ntsf:ds:suv:: poster which shows a be-wigged open-mouthed paul scheer holding out his hand like its a gun next to the image of the slipped and fallen fed ice goon with a panicked look on his face brandishing his gun like he meant to take prone cover

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 25/09/2025

top 10 signs that your man may be a sexual matador in bed 10 moustache 9 flamboyant 8 plays to the audience 7 svelte 6 agile 5 stabby 4 wears a cape 3 enjoys your suffering 2 doesnt finish you off himself 1 he leaps out of the way when the bull comes around (paul chimes in: hahahaha cuckold)

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 24/09/2025

in a mid tier action thriller movie or tv forensic/profiling procedural a more clever anti-ice slogan found on shell casing engravings would be like 'cacl2' or 'mgcl2' or 'cma', so then you could have maybe ice-t or a nerdy goth chick explain those are common de-icing snow removal chemicals

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 23/09/2025

charlie kirk rawdogging rbg in heaven as the entire rapture walks in the front door

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 18/09/2025

all network late night comedy shows will now be made by Prager U

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 16/09/2025

also been wondering if/how losing one of the hydra heads of this american style decentralized/corporatized 'hitleryouth' fascism indoctrination movement will change anything

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 16/09/2025

i have kinda wondered if they used that idf battlefield technology to harvest his final sperm, if that sort of thing is already commonplace or will possibly become so for the 'ruling class elites'

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 11/09/2025

breaking: in the rush to fill the void, elon musk is rumored to have the early strategic advantage in providing a replacement 'charlie kirk ai' chat bot to take over the running of kirk's family and podcast-demagoguery empire, simply by offering to revert his grok ai to its 'mechahltler' settings

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 11/09/2025

if it's any consolation he likely merged into a rightwing Legion style multidemon with the combined intellectual capacity of a petri dish and the combined intellectual curiosity of a million holocaust deniers, oozing thru the septic pits of hell, eternally howling and gibbering about wokeness

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jess haleyween @jessdistressed.bsky.social · 11/09/2025

anyways mr president go to utah or no balls ...is probably what they're saying a lot on the streets

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