Sign in

jeffhelzner.bsky.social

@jeffhelzner.bsky.social
618 followers 329 following 556 posts

Former academic philosopher. Currently measuring and estimating stuff in the insurance industry. Interested in decision making, uncertainty, and long walks on the beach. jeffhelzner.github.io

PostsRepliesMedia
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 5m
It isn’t surprising to see misinformation spread these days, but how did all the kids who grew up in the ’80s come to believe that Mikey from the Life cereal commercials died from drinking Pop Rocks and Coke?
100
Reposted by @jeffhelzner.bsky.social
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
LinkedIn is like The School of Athens in social network form.
111
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The tragedy ends with the main character creating a blog about the profession.
000
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
If you see this, post a vampire that isn't Dracula
040
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Over 50? Have a Masters degree in anything from a school? Any work experience whatsoever? Chat with one of our “Overqualified Specialists” today 🤡
010
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Yet another thing that I don’t miss about academia. 🤮
000
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
LinkedIn is like The School of Athens in social network form.
111
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Made the case to whom? corp.oup.com/spotlights/a...
corp.oup.com
AI just made the case for philosophy majors; the humanities should not waste it - Oxford University Press
Sophie Goldsworthy, Global Academic Publisher, explores how AI companies hiring philosophers may have made a compelling case for the study of humanities disciplines.
010
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Guy who thinks decision analysis is humanities-coded just because it’s honest about where subjectivity enters the process.
030
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I finally have a regular meeting in my life that is every bit as slow and painful as any faculty meeting I had in academia. Achievement unlocked.
000
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“Some philosophers have imagined that to start an inquiry it was only necessary to utter a question whether orally or by setting it down upon paper …” is the first thing I thought of when I saw this.
010
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
But seriously, some of you need to stop saying weird philosophy and AI stuff in public.
010
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Philosophy trending on LinkedIn again. 🙄
120
Reposted by @jeffhelzner.bsky.social
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Some philosopher decided to take their message directly to the closest thing we have to a town square: LinkedIn.
011
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
If someone learned about the world by watching ’80s action shows, they’d probably overestimate the effect of a single karate chop.
100
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Going to tell my kids that this was Eliezer Yudkowsky
000
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Some philosopher decided to take their message directly to the closest thing we have to a town square: LinkedIn.
011
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Sorry, but Yudkowsky would have been stuffed in a gym locker in Gen X. We’ve really failed the younger generations.
110
Reposted by @jeffhelzner.bsky.social
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Philosophers used to hold interviews in hotel rooms. They’re in no position to complain about someone bringing an iced coffee.
2112
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Philosophers used to hold interviews in hotel rooms. They’re in no position to complain about someone bringing an iced coffee.
2112
Reposted by @jeffhelzner.bsky.social
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
My direct interactions with AI agents these days remind me a little of being an external examiner for a dissertation defense.
031
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
It’s a frappuccino, mf 🙄
010
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Move it all into Databricks, they said. Share your work in notebooks, they said …
000
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
000
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Maybe they’re having a conversation with their audience, like in a one-person show very far off Broadway.
010
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
🚨 Secure the northern border immediately 🚨🤢
000
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
My direct interactions with AI agents these days remind me a little of being an external examiner for a dissertation defense.
031
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Just heard an actuary refer to a corporate IT team’s project as “data theater” 😂
000
Reposted by @jeffhelzner.bsky.social
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Death by Excel is very difficult to detect because it happens so slowly, but you can see it in the eyes of those who have used it for years. I remember the first time I saw an actuary use it. All I could think was that he’d probably be better off smoking Lucky Strikes, but I knew it was too late.
221
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Q: Would Socrates have liked HAA? A: That’s a great question, but I’m not sure … HAA: 💰💰💰 A: Like it? No. He would have loved it.
000
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Death by Excel is very difficult to detect because it happens so slowly, but you can see it in the eyes of those who have used it for years. I remember the first time I saw an actuary use it. All I could think was that he’d probably be better off smoking Lucky Strikes, but I knew it was too late.
221
Reposted by @jeffhelzner.bsky.social
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Come to HAA, where you’ll connect with the real world by meeting billionaires and celebrity academics.
011
Reposted by @jeffhelzner.bsky.social
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
That tracks. I remember really disliking most of the parts of philosophy that my colleagues worked on. Like, why don’t they just focus on logic or decision theory and stop being weird?
051
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Come to HAA, where you’ll connect with the real world by meeting billionaires and celebrity academics.
011
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
That tracks. I remember really disliking most of the parts of philosophy that my colleagues worked on. Like, why don’t they just focus on logic or decision theory and stop being weird?
051
Reposted by @jeffhelzner.bsky.social
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Ok, let’s all take a step back and remember that Stancil doesn’t even list philosophy of mind as an AOC.
052
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Ok, let’s all take a step back and remember that Stancil doesn’t even list philosophy of mind as an AOC.
052
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Amazing to watch corporate IT departments get work by promising a perfectly unified data architecture designed by people who have no idea how the data is actually used in decision-making.
010
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Whenever I see a trending post about philosophy, I can be sure it isn’t about any philosophical question I’ve ever found interesting.
000
Reposted by @jeffhelzner.bsky.social
Ian Boudreau @ianboudreau.com · 21/09/2026
Always hilarious to see Jake and Logan Paul wearing suits at official events, like when people put clothes on dogs to pretend they have jobs
51654185
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Vincent Price’s The Last Man on Earth is the best film adaptation of I Am Legend.
000
Reposted by @jeffhelzner.bsky.social
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I went to a great talk on formal mathematics and AI last night. It was interesting to see how the philosophical questions that motivated the early development of these formal systems have faded into the background, not unlike what one now sees in the applied Bayesian statistics community.
031
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
My kids use “let me cook” to mean they need more time, and “I’m cooked” to mean “I’m in a hopeless situation.” So apparently, in the long run, we’re all cooked. They’re quoting Keynes.
010
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
The one guy looks like he’s about to vampire the other dude. I guess that’s just how philosophy works.
010
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I went to a great talk on formal mathematics and AI last night. It was interesting to see how the philosophical questions that motivated the early development of these formal systems have faded into the background, not unlike what one now sees in the applied Bayesian statistics community.
031
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
In general, I’ve grown a bit tired of city life, but it is nice to be able to hop on a subway to go hear a talk on formal mathematics and AI. I probably wouldn’t do the Metro-North trip if we lived in the burbs.
000
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Neither, but he’d probably be surprised by the long detour through academia.
010
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
The tech evangelists are now talking about the fact that the bots are now talking to each other in their LinkedIn comments.
010
Reposted by @jeffhelzner.bsky.social
Steely Dan Enjoyer @steelydanenjoyer.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Listening to "Peg" and letting Michael McDonald carry the weight of my poor life choices
2172
jeffhelzner.bsky.social @jeffhelzner.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Neither. Maybe a bit surprised by the number of kids. 🤷🏻‍♂️
000