iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 27/12/2025

Me, thinking about how easy it was to breathe through my nose two days ago: That simple fool. I had no idea how good I had it. Perfect respiration, wasted.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 26/12/2025

There is a staggering variety of cheeses for sale in every grocery store

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 23/12/2025

You think I don’t know what a persimmon is Of course I know what a persimmon is You fool

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

Alarm Clock would be a terrible ice cream flavor

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 18/12/2025

Do you think camels know how weird they look

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 17/12/2025

I wonder if that duck ever found any gwapes

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 16/12/2025

I have never once had more than one mambo, I can’t even imagine FIVE of them

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 15/12/2025

punctuation and capital letters were made up by ink manufacturers in order to sell more ink andspacesbetweenwordswereinventedbypapercompaniesforsimilarreasons

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 14/12/2025

Struggling to eat this entire pizza But I will prevail

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 13/12/2025

Bad: three spidermans Better: three spidermen Galaxy brain: three spidersman

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 13/12/2025

Optometrists are like Yeah, we’ll grant you the gift of sight But you gotta pay

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 12/12/2025

When I kick the bucket, I give the executor of my will permission to strap my remains to an automatic pogo stick and let it go nuts

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 11/12/2025

Let me put all allegations to rest on the matter: Yes, I did once eat hallway pizza because I spent all my Con money on a pleather cloak. No, I do not regret it. Yes, I still have the pleather cloak twenty years later.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 10/12/2025

“Hamster Castle” sounds great until you realize one of them will be dressed up as a little wizard guy and then it sounds AWESOME can you imagine that

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 08/12/2025

What if a gravedigger digs lots of things and is just very serious all the time Didn’t think of that did you

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 07/12/2025

“It’s 9 o’clock on a Saturday” Never told AM or PM. This song happens in the morning. They’re all day-drinking for breakfast.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 06/12/2025

Don’t talk to me until I’ve fathered my Christmas

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 06/12/2025

Can’t talk right now. I’m trying to figure out Pringles

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 05/12/2025

Bought a goose for home defense and now I can’t leave my house because there’s a big angry goose out there

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 04/12/2025

[sees spilled milk] Keep it together, you’re in public

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 03/12/2025

Some of the old presidential campaign slogans were wild. “Tippecanoe and Tyler too!” Man what are you even saying. Tippecanoe? And who is Tyler?!

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 02/12/2025

You’re telling me A chocolate lab covered these cherries

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 01/12/2025

It will snow. It is snowing. It snows. It snew. It has snode.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 01/12/2025

I get WAY more mad about an unskippable 5 second ad than I do about a longer ad that I have to skip after five seconds pass

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Reposted by Jeff Ayers, author

The Godyssey Podcast @godysseypodcast.com · 30/11/2025

When is the right time to put out Christmas decorations? Too early, and you warn the spirits of the upcoming holiday, which may lead to them giving you an abundance of bad luck in your holiday prep. Folklore says Christmas Eve is the best day, but in this economy? #FolkloreSunday

Christmas cookies wrapped in a red ribbon next to tinsel, red berries, a red candle, candy canes, and ornaments on a wood table.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 30/11/2025

I’m just a man standing in a public restroom Begging this automatic faucet to notice my hands waving around to get this disgusting soap off of me so I can leave

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 29/11/2025

“Fall apart in my backyard” was said Baloo the Bear and I’ve never forgotten the phrase.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 28/11/2025

“Once upon a time” —cliche, old-fashioned, tired “When the world was young and oysters flew kites” —dynamic, intriguing, memorable

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 25/11/2025

If you’re at the airplort this week, don’t forget to feed the baggage claim belt a briefcase full of hot dogs before you go

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 23/11/2025

“No me gusta” means “It doesn’t gusta me.” No one knows what gusta means. It’s lost to time and history.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 21/11/2025

Give me an hour to myself and I will use it to either write or play Dwarf Fortress.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 20/11/2025

Can’t see the responsibilities. They’re not moving and I have T-Rex eyes.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 19/11/2025

Brain full of spiders, soul full of garlic, termites in his smile Someone needs to do a wellness check on the Grinch

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 18/11/2025

Arm yourself with knowledge. Shield yourself with wisdom. Festoon yourself with approximation. Barricade yourself with savoir faire. Bedeck yourself with conjecture.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 16/11/2025

If you love being late to everything all the time and never getting enough sleep, you’re going to love being a parent.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 16/11/2025

“You must come from a state where the capital is the biggest city” Sir I did not come here to be accurately attacked.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 16/11/2025

Every burger place is like “Come in, we have burgers” And then you go in and it’s burgers

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 15/11/2025

To all the teachers out there: The numbers thing will pass. You’ve weathered other storms before. It won’t last forever. Hang in there.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 14/11/2025

She's touring the facility and picking up slack I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooong skirt She is wearing two skirts. Two skirts at the same time. Simultaneous skirts of varying length. Two-skirts McGoo.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 13/11/2025

When the clarinet does that thing at the beginning of Rhapsody in Blue is one of the best things a clarinet can do.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 12/11/2025

Gotta marinate. Need to broil. Time to sauté. Gonna simmer.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 11/11/2025

Loops are a breakfast shape. Bagels, donuts, froot, small tires, Cheerios. The loop means it’s time to eat after you’ve slept.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 10/11/2025

You expect me to return to dust? As in dirt? As in soil? I am not a plant.

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Jeff Ayers, author @jeffayerswrites.bsky.social · 09/11/2025

You can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs. I can. But you’re not skilled enough.

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