Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 19hFarage looks tired. Perhaps he should just leave the immensely popular Reform business to one of his many competent acolytes. He can then just relax in the Brexit paradise he so dearly wanted and helped create. 010
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Deranged US President says he is ok with Los Angeles being taken out AI bosses say it has a 10-25% chance of destroying the world Cat saves family of four from house fire. Technician dies after accident in Russian plague lab I made one of these facts up. It was unfortunately the cat one. 010
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 04/10/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/ai-has-... That's it folks, let's wrap it up, we're done here...newsbiscuit.comAI has discovered all jokes and comedy has now been completedIt has been announced that AI has discovered all jokes and there are no new humorous phrases or actions left. All humour is now just Gemini copies of a Claude version of a Co-pilot reproduction of a r... 000
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 01/10/2026It would be pretty wonderful in the unlikely event I happened to bump into Ted Danson, the following exchange happened: Me: You Danson? Him: You askin’? Me: I’m askin’. Him: Then I’m Danson. 131
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 30/09/2026MacDonalds in the US are trying “Dynamic Pricing”. In Europe, they call that a “Ripoff with cheese”. Because of the legal system. 221
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 25/09/2026No amount of polishing will make Man City's silverware clean now. Luckily nothing like this will ever happen again. #ManCityGuilty 120
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 15/09/2026The US war with Iran is still not a war. It is a Military Engagement, which is like they are fully committed, but not yet set a date for war, and can maybe break things off if they have second thoughts, but can they do any better, and they might just have to settle with what they’ve got in the end. 110
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 14/09/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/extremi... It's been a while since I've contributed anything to NewsBiscuit and to society in general, so have this.newsbiscuit.comExtremist RNLI and the Pakistani Cricket team feel full wrath of 'Patriots'Idiot groups of awful people are waging war on the extremist lifesaving RNLI and the Pakistani Cricket team. 010
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 11/09/2026I can maybe do Friday the 13th #ASongOrMovieForBeingHesitant 131
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 10/09/2026The film Avatar is so unquotable, I can’t recall a single decent line from it. This annoyed me even more when I just remembered that the amazing Sigourney Weaver is in it… 110
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 10/09/2026With Trump clearly trying to bribe voters $5000 to vote for him, I suggest Democrats offer to pay voters double what Trump will give them. Double nothing is still nothing. #maths 010
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 01/08/2026UEFA have just presented Infantino with the Noble Fuck Off prize. Fantastic scenes out there. 120
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 30/07/2026This awful Market Manipulation with Iran could easily expand into a World Market Manipulation, the likes of which we have never seen before. A Market Manipulation so large it will be called the Great Market Manipulation, perhaps the Market Manipulation to end all Market Manipulations. 010
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 18/07/2026Imagine being the first US president to have a diarrhea named after you. 272
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 17/07/2026I've bin thinking about Count Binface a lot and I reckon he needs a walk out tune for debates. I suggest "One week" by The Bare Naked Ladies. Just the first two words on repeat. 020
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Has-been: Noun used informally to describe a person that is no longer as effective, popular, successful, or relevant as they once were Has bin. Ownership of a bin Do with this information what you want #Clactonchoices 020
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 11/07/2026Count Binface has stood for elections in London, Richmond and Makerfield. Definitely bin around the block a few times. Bin around.... Jeez ....Tough crowd. 020
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 10/07/2026Hopefully The Count will see this, but if they reveal that their first name is "Binnymuck", then they would get a MASSIVE boost in support. Big Count Binface fan. It's bin emotional. 120
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 09/07/2026Rarely agree with Farage, but looked up the dictionary definition: Establishment noun (es·tab·lish·ment) Someone with a bin on their head 240
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 09/07/2026Count Binface is accused of not owning the death ray satellite in geosynchronous orbit above Clacton. Turns out it’s in his partner’s name. The Unserious Fraud Office is to investigate. 081
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 09/07/2026Bit gutted there were no football scandals yesterday. Looking forward to see what FIFA is rustling up today. 010
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 08/07/2026BREAKING THE NEWS The Clacton candidate Count Binface is said to have received 5 million space credits from a rogue AI called HAL 9000. He claims that as this was outside the solar system it did not need to be declared. The Recyclons based on his home planet Sigma IX have been asked for comment. 020
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 08/07/2026Clacton, this is your choice: Count or C_unt . . . . o (Nigel dropped the ball on this one) 141
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 08/07/2026In the Clacton by-election, it looks like Nigel Farage will only face some character called Count Binface. I think it is absolutely DISGUSTING that some charlatan who treats UK politics as a joke is running and you know where this is going… 110
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 07/07/2026God's Holy Trousers, it's Breaking News. With the imminent collapse of "Reform UK", Farage's new political party name just dropped. It's "Nigel Farage Ltd."– Just his name, keep it simple, that’s what you’re voting for, not policies or hope. 041
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 07/07/2026I cant believe it's more Breaking News. With the imminent collapse of "Reform UK", Farage's new political party name just dropped. "Change UK" – Instead of “Reform is required” and “We want reform”, just change the verb and even keep the font and arrow logo, in fact, little change is required. 030
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Even More Breaking News. With the imminent collapse of "Reform UK", Farage's new political party name just dropped. "UKRIPto Party“ – A decentralised party network not controlled by a central authority or government Sponsored by magic coin man Christopher Harborne 020
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 07/07/2026More Breaking News. With the imminent collapse of "Reform UK", Farage's new political party name just dropped. The "Leave it!" Party– From the heroic win that is Brexit, a solid British phrase usually shouted outside nightclubs followed by “He’s not werf it!” 030
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Breaking News. With the imminent collapse of "Reform UK", Farage's new political party name just dropped. "UK Tomorrow" – the natural progression from when he was a paid “Russia Today” stooge. 030
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Trumps phonecall to Infantino last night, "What I want to do is this. I just want to find, uh, 4 goals, which is one more than we have, because we won that game." 020
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Breaking news, all four Belgium goals have been overturned by one phonecall to the FIFA hotline and a victorious USA go though to the quarter finals. Amazing stuff... 020
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 06/07/2026The new USA flag, seen as they are just ignoring reds now. 020
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 06/07/2026If Starmer offers a Trump a third State Visit, Jarell Quansah's can easily be overturned. #FIFAintegrity 020
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 01/07/2026Just seen an tv drama about a crime solving nun called "Sister Boniface Mysteries". Weirdly, her first name is Bonimok. 020
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 01/07/2026"It's DR Congo, I didn't spend six years in Congolese Medical School to be called mister thank you very much." 020
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 29/06/2026Is this an actual photo of Craig Williams, a Parliamentary Private Secretary to Rishi Sunak, or did I ask AI to create an image of a conniving posh spiv who looks like he would ruin his career over a £100 insider bet? 020
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 29/06/2026In the very real possible scenario of a recall by-election in Clacton, is this the opportunity for extreme tactical voting to shine? All hail Count Binface. countbinface.comcountbinface.comCount Binface 030
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 28/06/2026Todays big question, will Paddy Young have to shave his moustache off for his Andy Burnham impression on SNL UK? Or will Andy Burnham do the right thing and grow one to make it easier for Paddy and the British people? Possible his first big test which could make or break his premiership. 042
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 26/06/2026The Keir Starmer Bladerunner monologue, the director's cut. Apologies to Rutger Hauer. 130
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 25/06/2026As a tribute to Bladerunner, Starmer should have ended with: "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Hotels on fire off junction 33 on the M1. I watched small heaters glitter in the dark near empty food cupboards. All those moments will be lost in time, like Keir's final reign. Time to go." 020
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 24/06/2026“Let’s take back control”, how about “Let’s control kickbacks” Nigel? Slap that on the side of a bus you stuttering piss stain. 030
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 24/06/2026Does being negged by adverts actually work? Recent YouTube ads include: “You don’t know what an AI Work Management Platform is? Urgh…” “Your wallet sucks!” “Heard you don’t like Twix you fuckin’ prick” 030
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 24/06/2026I am genuinely excited about new Michael Mann directed Heat 2, which is going to be a prequel. I also have ideas for the full title: Pre-Heat Heat : The warm up Heat 2 Boiling Point 2 much Heat : Let it simmer Heat 200°C (or 180°C for fan assisted) 431
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 22/06/2026In a move called the “Reverse Farage”, a mysterious Thai Crypto Billionaire has offered Rupert Lowe £5,000,000 to not run in elections. 030
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 22/06/2026www.newsbiscuit.com/post/usa-for... I initially wrote this last week, the National guard has actually been deployed around the pond...newsbiscuit.comUSA forced into peace deal with algae in Lincoln Memorial Reflecting PoolAfter an Apache AH-64 crashed into the Washington Monument whilst strafing the algae with it’s 30mm chain cannon, the USA agreed to a cease fire and reparations to the algae in the Reflecting Pool.ICE... 031
Jeef @jeefdavis.bsky.social · 18/06/2026Pete Hegseth is now the Secretary of Capitulation. The new signage and stationery are to cost $12Billion. 040
