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John Brennan

@jbren.bsky.social
189 followers 116 following 1.3K posts
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Reposted by John Brennan
The Onion @theonion.com · 5h
“Upon reviewing the disciplinary action we took toward the seven Chi Phi brothers who allegedly gang-raped a student for over seven hours, we have concluded that the mandated two-page minimum on essays was woefully inadequate.” — Michael Kotlikoff, Cornell president
theonion.com
Cornell Vows That Rapists Will Be Forced To Write Much Longer Essays In The Future
ITHACA, NY—Acknowledging serious missteps in their handling of a 2024 campus sexual assault case, administrators at Cornell University vowed Tuesday that, going forward, rapists would be forced to wri...
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Reposted by John Brennan
The Onion @theonion.com · 7h
Trump To Rename AI ‘Super Intelligence’ On All U.S. Documents theonion.com/trump-to-rename-ai-sup…
“Even the Constitution?”

Anton Pastranak, Systems Analyst
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 6h
Finally a shirt knows me!
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Reposted by John Brennan
The Onion @theonion.com · 13h
Heart-Wrenching Movie Scene Immediately Cuts To Liberty Biberty
Heart-Wrenching Movie Scene Immediately Cuts To Liberty Biberty
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Getting real strong Woodland Creatures vibes, from South Park (I'm sorry, South America) Imaginationland episodes.
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The NFC West all lost this week... Except San Francisco!
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I try to make a habit of listening to DMB albums on their anniversaries, so of course I took advantage of an excuse to listen to UTTAD. And here's a good reminder that Johnny Galecki starred in the Satellite music video.
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Reposted by John Brennan
Dave Matthews Band @dmbofficial.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Today we’re celebrating 32 years of Under the Table and Dreaming & Dave Matthews Band Day!
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Lee Corso's 'Not So Fast, My Friend' on College GameDay
ALT: Lee Corso's 'Not So Fast, My Friend' on College GameDay
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Wow, Dodgers beat Giants 2-0 in a game that lasted 1 hour 54 minutes.
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Not gonna lie, sitting around shirtless at 81° covered in chicken & ranch dressing sounds pretty good right now.
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Reposted by John Brennan
The Onion @theonion.com · 25/09/2026
Kash Patel Phished By Scammer Posing As Kash Patel theonion.com/kash-patel-phished-by-…
Kash Patel Phished By Scammer Posing As Kash Patel
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Aced it.
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Jerry Seinfeld: That's a Shame
ALT: Jerry Seinfeld: That's a Shame
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Is CNN airing this because of Jake Tapper? Or because it still hasn't been granted its pool privileges back?
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Reposted by John Brennan
Al Yankovic @alyankovic.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
popsci.com
Asteroid named after ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic
‘I just hope this isn’t the asteroid that winds up destroying the Earth.’
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Reposted by John Brennan
The Onion @theonion.com · 25/09/2026
“He definitely isn’t fluent, and I doubt he’ll ever get there, but he’s truly come a long way from being unable to pronounce a single word intelligibly.” — Xi Jinping
theonion.com
Xi Jinping Impressed With How Much Trump’s English Has Improved Since Last Visit
WASHINGTON—Marveling at how his American counterpart’s grasp of the difficult language had progressed, Chinese leader Xi Jinping told reporters Thursday that he was deeply impressed with how much Pres...
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Someone near me is setting off a shit ton of fireworks. Ostensibly to celebrate the First Amendment.
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Reposted by John Brennan
The Onion @theonion.com · 24/09/2026
Xi Jinping Impressed With How Much Trump’s English Has Improved Since Last Visit theonion.com/xi-jinping-impressed-w…
Xi Jinping Impressed With How Much Trump’s English Has Improved Since Last Visit
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Pretty much the only good thing going over on X is George Kittle having fun. x.com/gkittle46/st...
x.com
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
The Real J Peterman bus tour
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Trump is refusing to comply with a court order? Color me shocked.
static.klipy.com
Friends: Joey Tribbiani's Shocked Reaction
ALT: Friends: Joey Tribbiani's Shocked Reaction
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Reposted by John Brennan
Al Yankovic @alyankovic.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
nytimes.com
Weird Al Never Grew Up. Neither Did These Fans (or Their Dads). (Gift Article)
Sons and fathers bond at the accordion-wielding pop parodist’s concerts.
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
The Anderson Cooper comment 💀
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Poor Tony Romo is missing out on a trip to Rio!
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
A majority of SCOTUS has already shown deference to Trump when in the realm of national security (see Ballroom decision) so it's no wonder national security is his justification for everything now (see Triumphal Arch, media bans, etc.)
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Reposted by John Brennan
The Onion @theonion.com · 22/09/2026
Career-Ending Facebook Comment Double-Checked For Spelling theonion.com/career-ending-facebook…
Career-Ending Facebook Comment Double-Checked For Spelling
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Reposted by John Brennan
Rachel Maddow @maddow.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
very excited and grateful for this! “Kill. Bury. Print.” premieres this Sunday Sept 27 on Peacock! trailer here: youtu.be/ZLfo4At-stg variety.com/2026/tv/news...
variety.com
Rachel Maddow’s ‘Kill. Bury. Print.’ Wins 2026 David Carr Award From Montclair Film Festival
Rachel Maddow's ‘Kill. Bury. Print.’ Wins 2026 David Carr Award From Montclair Film Festival
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Reposted by John Brennan
The Onion @theonion.com · 21/09/2026
Survey Finds 1 In 3 Americans With Health Insurance Have Medical Debt theonion.com/survey-finds-1-in-3-am…
“If there was a better way to provide healthcare surely another country would have figured it out.”

Rebekah Melton, Diving Board Tester
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Reposted by John Brennan
The Onion @theonion.com · 21/09/2026
JD Vance Booed  By Own Reflection  In Mirror theonion.com/jd-vance-booed-by-own-…
JD Vance Booed  By Own Reflection  In Mirror
Image Calls VP ‘Loser’ Right To His Face
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Reposted by John Brennan
The Onion @theonion.com · 20/09/2026
Mascot Doing Fentanyl Fold
Mascot Doing Fentanyl Fold
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Reposted by John Brennan
The Onion @theonion.com · 20/09/2026
Report: Other Tailgate Looks More Fun theonion.com/report-other-tailgate-…
Report: Other Tailgate Looks More Fun

Laughs, High-Fives Suggest Nearby Party Much Better
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I'm ok with it (as I'm currently eating & drinking Dunkin)
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Lane getting out smarted. Hate to see it!
static.klipy.com
Lane Kiffin's Disbelief: Face Palm Moment
ALT: Lane Kiffin's Disbelief: Face Palm Moment
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Wait. Did Geico bring back the camel hump day ad when NBC SNF just redid it?
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I have a Batman T-shirt. I wore it today, having no idea today is Batman Day. Sometimes the universe just works out.
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Reposted by John Brennan
MS NOW Public Relations @msnowcomms.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
@ms.now statement on its journalists being denied access to the White House grounds:
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I'm glad it only took me an inning into watching Giants/Dodgers on AppleTV+ to discover I can listen to the KNBR radio feed instead of their TV crew.
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Reposted by John Brennan
The Onion @theonion.com · 18/09/2026
Pitcher Clearly Ate Rosin Bag
Pitcher Clearly Ate Rosin Bag
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Reposted by John Brennan
Ken Jennings @kenjennings.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Just a warning that if you ever fondly recollect The Golden Girls on TV, you may get a strongly worded note from a Mr. James Anthony.
crackpot email: Ken Jennings ~ The Golden Girls
NO - 'we All dont love that show'!
It was Stupid
and you know it Ken regards
James Anthony
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
RIP. Didn't know about his history with Lisa Loeb. Feeling all 90s nostalgic right now.
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Syracuse loses 27-13 to Pitt. They gave us hope going into halftime after an abysmal start to the game, then threw it all away (literally) in the 3rd quarter.
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Gap integrity.
static.klipy.com
Michael Strahan's Intense Game Face
ALT: Michael Strahan's Intense Game Face
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I think the lesson on that drive is Syracuse sucked at tackling.
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
This seems like an excessively long halftime
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Down just 7 at the half, given that journey we all just took, is quite impressive.
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
This ACC crew has miscalled player numbers several times tonight.
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I'm getting flashbacks of Perry Patterson not being able to get it into the end zone from the goal line.
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Dare I say Syracuse has been playing well since I started drinking? Guess I'll have to be a team player tonight.
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John Brennan @jbren.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I wasn't gonna drink tonight, but...
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