iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 9m

Apparently coming on here and shaming an entire gender is a great way to meet chicks.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Let's do this!

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I’m pissed at men too. Also pissed at mothers who don’t teach their boys how to act when someone is vulnerable, and fathers who don’t hold their sons accountable because they weren't either. Simple. Men need to call out other men for being dicks. I do. And I don’t associate with men who won’t.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Ever throw a hot dog in the Grand canyon?

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Sorry. I’m just not very good at following directions. Say that again? Take my protein pills AND put my helmet on? Slow down. I’m still trying to remember where I put the protein pills. Oh shit. This is Dave’s helmet. [Liftoff] Dammit!

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Nothing. I didn't do anything, mom. I was just standing here?

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

How is it that one of the greatest humans ever, and the greatest president of our generation, was followed by one of the worst humans and presidents in American history? Because 30% of this country are Crackers still fighting the goddamn Civil War.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I don't think we talk enough about gravy.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

A PERSON wanted to go into a restroom, find a stall, lock the door, sit on the toilet and do their business in peace. Somehow that threatened someone and now we have Trump. All of this shit ... because of potty.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Neighbor: Isn’t it a bit early for Halloween decorations? Me: What decorations? Neighbor: The skeleton on your porch. Me: Oh, that’s just Bob. He rented your house before you. Asked me the same thing about my Christmas lights.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Can't. It's stuck in the zipper.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I'll take "Things you shouldn't lick" for $400

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

“You’re a shitposter?” Why yes. “On BlueSky?” Of course. “That makes you a Shit Skeeter, right?” Correct. We emerge at dusk, drawn by arrogance & the mating call of the confidently incorrect, then dine till dawn on the warm, nutrient-rich blood of dipshits. Or. Sometimes we just fuck around.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

It’s the jiggle in your giggle that puts the tickle in my pickle.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

I went to an all-ladies tag-team mud wrestling match once. Then a Little League game broke out.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

I'm a good person. I do good things. Really! But if you're not going to notice, praise me, tell everyone how good I am & use my good deeds to shame others... what's the point?

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Can't. Went to the kitchen for a beer. A lidless jar of mayo fell out, the cat ate it and puked, and I slipped cleaning it up and fell face first into it. I'm fine. And fuck you. Universe. I got my beer. 😁

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Hey babe, is this a nipple or a pimple? Oh, both? Cool.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Sir. I cannot adequately express my gratitude for your 5:45 a.m. whistling serenade. The combination of volume, enthusiasm, and complete disregard for pitch sends shivers down my spine and makes for a truly lovely way to start the day. Bless your heart.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

9-year-old me watching the Star Trek episode with Abraham Lincoln. "HELP ME, SPOCK! AHHH! HELP ME, SPOCK!" The acting was SO BAD, even 9-year-old me thought, "Spock can't be THAT stupid." That's when I realized Star Trek wasn't real. Other stuff, too. Santa. The Easter Bunny. Competent adults.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

You're telling me to PAY ATTENTION? In THIS economy?

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Imagine writing a song against short people, then having to explain to tall people that the joke’s on them.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

I asked my son to help around the house with the weed abatement. My stash is gone and now realize I should have been more specific.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Putting the hoe in Diarrhoea.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Me: (shaking hands) Hi. Nathan. Nice to meet you. You're a Nate, right? Nate: Well. I try to as much as the next guy. Me: I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Ever noticed that the incredibly arrogant are also incredibly ignorant? And that the other way around is also true?

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Anybody wanna meet up and just SCREAM? [We could get food after.]

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Robots used to be called Ro-butts because their butts were cuter.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Randall Flagg is a dick.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Steak. Now plant-based with extra protein!

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

I got hit over the head with a baseball bat for stealing shrimp off my wife’s plate at a bar once. It was shrimp and battery.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

The world is my oyster cracker

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

People who brag about their farts! Who you gonna call, BOAST GUSTERS!

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Is there anyway I can post here today without you looking at my bum? Silly Bum-looker. Cheeky Monkey! I like to do DRAW-RING!

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Imagine your last text is the only thing written on your tombstone. What does it say? "What are you wearing?"

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

The "I have a Dream" speech would get 2 likes on here. Meanwhile... The "Wow. Look at my turd!" Speech would get 8k likes. 🤷‍♀️

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Gee. The house is on fire. We should probably put it out. Yeah. Great idea. Somebody should do something about that. Sound familiar? All this blather about Trump, the end of democracy... Blah, blah, blah is all we hear from these large accounts on BSKY. Never solutions, tho. F'em. Vote Blue!

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Pardon me. Mind if I play through? But I'm wondering if you're the guy to contact who could help me with weed abatement? Both kinds. Asking for a friend.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

When you’ve gone beyond your wit’s end and have absolutely no idea, there’s always the 'Witless Protection Program'. New name. New identity. New brain. Same idiot. 😄

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Humans are apes too and should groom each other more often. "Hold still, Dave. You've got a monster flea on your back and I'm hungry.”

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Sometimes I wish Toilet Paper was the same size as Paper Towels. And if you don't know why. Don't ask. Just wait.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Unless your 8-year-old takes bets on the Buccaneers at school, there is no reason for her to have $1,200 in lunch debt. Sportsbook debt, maybe. Lunch debt, no.

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

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Cuz'n Jamie @j-meeeeee.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

She had an ass you could serve dinner on... Or is it in? Sorry. I can't remember. I'm new.

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