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Jason Sims

@jasonsims.bsky.social
314 followers 176 following 547 posts

Jokes and typos. Huntsville, AL.

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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Showed my new short “Welcome Back” last night, and couldn’t be happier about how it was received. youtu.be/E07EjxPZ2Ag?...
youtu.be
Welcome Back (2026)
YouTube video by Jason Sims
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
“Antifa” and “Radical Left Scum” didn’t stick, so now they’re trotting “Communists” back out. They’re scrambling. We’ll be “Witches” by the midterms.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
The Confederacy…Colonialism…Jim Crow…Know Nothingism…McCarthyism This administration has really trotted out all the usual suspects of the worst aspects of our history for the 250th. #USA
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
I hope they all get an onion.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Happy Canada Day/Fête du Canada! A wondrous land where these guys smoke & taught a dog to smoke. These guys sure smoke.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
The most visceral horror movie of the year is watching the first half of The AI Doc on edibles.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
That Trump rose to the top of our political system & that Musk rose to the top of our economic system are the only indicators you need as to the merits of both.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
You know Luther Campbell did the “shoulda had a V8” gesture the first time he saw one of these at the farmers market.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
That’s a W.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
Northern Exposure reboot with Stephen Root as Maurice.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
Sometimes this and Threads feel like one of those “Group Where We Pretend It’s The Bronze Age” things on Facebook but we’re pretending we’re on Twitter before Elon Musk bought it.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
Don’t know if I’ve got it in me to wade through the bleakness at this time, but I’m half in on the first episode of The Audacity, and I like it more than I wanted to.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Man, 2026 is the year I have gotten super into breezes. Nothing gets me more stoked right now than a gentle waft of air that’s slightly cooler than the surrounding air. Possibly pertinent information: I am 51.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
I thought this graphic from The War Cabinet doc from Frontline (currently on YouTube) made them look like they were contestants on a reality show where they have to figure out which one them farted in an elevator, so now y’all have to see this.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
One of the oldest cons in the book is the ol' "Accidentally" Fall Into An Open Grave & Die So You Get A Free Grave grift. Only a sucker would pay for a hole in the ground.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
You get it! *high 10* 🙌
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
There are four kinds of people in this world: the 100% of us who double every number and the 100% of y’all who let concepts like “math” and “being correct” stand in the way of your dreams.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
After you see I Love Boosters, don’t sleep on I’m A Virgo if you have Prime.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
Also, it was made to be seen on a big screen theater screen with big theater sound. The colors! The textures! The music!
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
I am glad Boots Riley exists and brings so many other creative people together to make things. I am glad movies like I Love Boosters are being made. So I was glad to go to the theater to support it, and I’m glad to be telling you this.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
*very Azrael Abyss voice* Hope you have a miserable 🦇#WorldGothDay. 🦇
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
Happy Arrival Day to Sun Ra. Happy Space Age to the rest of us.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
“We should learn to speak in a language that rich people who don't dream can't comprehend.” Resonates now more than ever.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
You shoulda seen me scrambling for the remote!
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
HBO Max just auto played an episode of Real Time With Bill Maher after the episode of Last Week Tonight With John Oliver I was watching and I am now seeking an attorney to represent me in a suit against Warner Bros. Discovery.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
Dear Future: We knew. They knew. Everyone knew. Don’t let them tell you otherwise.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
There is no other explanation for how no public act of incompetence or corruption by The Trump administration phases MAGA folks other than that they REALLY LOVE white supremacy.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
“The dishes are DONE, man.”
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Reposted by Jason Sims
s*w*a*c @swac.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
So now Dairy Queen has a breakfast menu, and the doomsday clock just jumped ahead 30 seconds.
Ad for Dairy Queen's deadly breakfast items: Cinnamon Toast Crunch dipped cone, Fruity Pebbles shake and a chco-frosted donut Blizzard. The best part of waking up ... and immediately falling into a sugar coma.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
I think I like Donnie Darko more now than the first time I saw it. I’m shocked by this.
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Reposted by Jason Sims
DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
hey john. its your cousin marvin. marvin cage! you know that new sound youve been looking for? well listen to this *hangs up phone*
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
That I’m ready for.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
Patent medicine, robber barons and Jim Crow have all come back around again. The needle is stuck in the grooves of our warped record of a civilization. Time to change the album…
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
Turns out we used to get a lot for shelling out a dollar or two for a local paper. It allowed them provide things online for free. I feel like the savings has cost us a lot as individuals and as a culture.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
It’s so sad because good headline writing is about information in concentrated form. Fill a whole paper or website with good headlines and you get a thumbnail shot of what’s going on an know which stories are probably worth your time to dig deeper into.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
As a lapsed journalist, I hate, hate, hate vague, clickbaity headlines that hold you hostage until you go to some website that’s unreadable because it’s either paywalled or a train wreck of nested, floating ads.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
My heart is with everyone who is marching in Selma & standing up in Montgomery today. I wish I could be there.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
The Confederacy is a copperhead coiled up in the rotting hollow log it got chased into after the gains of the Civil Rights movement. It’s often flicked its tongue or poked its head out, but hasn’t slithered this far into the sunlight in my lifetime. We need to make sure it’s the last time it does.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
CORRECTION: Dream ROLE. My current dream roll is a Butter Roll from any convenience store in South Jersey.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
CURRENT DREAM ROLL: A townie who says something ominous to Mayor Loftis on Widow’s Bay.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
We should apply a qualifier to refer to federal agencies under the current administration to differentiate between their current state and how they used to be. I suggest “Vichy.” Example: “Well, keep in mind that was the Vichy FDA that said that.”
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Just watched the first episode of Widow’s Bay and it was wonderful. Writing, directing, acting and vibe were all A+.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
P.S.: “Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself!”
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
If someone invents a denomination that was theologically like The Quakers but liturgically like Eastern Orthodoxy, I might mess around and join it.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
*modem sounds*
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
If anyone knows the setting I need to dial in on my Quantum Attuner to port over to the alternate timeline where the US transitioned from the New Deal Era to a full-blown social democracy instead of WHATEVER THIS IS, please DM it. We’ll send you a postcard.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
That’s fair.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
Apple is cramming generative AI into Camera, Photos and Siri. I might have to a get flip phone.
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Jason Sims @jasonsims.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
The Trump administration out there releasing the license plate numbers on UFOs before the names of the abusers in the Epstein Files.
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