Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 31/01/2025"Are you boldly going anywhere special this weekend, Spock?" "Not sure yet, Captain, I need to give it some malice aforethought." 010
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 28/01/2025"What do you think the top secret is, Spock?" "Logically, Captain, I think she boldly went where no Professor has boldly gone before." "I think you know, Spock, after all you're living next door to Alice." 030
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 26/01/2025"You, boy, is it true that Manchester United won, and a national holiday has been declared?" 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 26/01/2025"Why do they call you Red?" "Because I'm black, Mandy" 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 25/01/2025"Spock, have ever felt a more urgent need to boldly go?" "Not since those Klingon laxatives, Captain" 030
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 20/01/2025"Has your pardon from Biden come through yet, Red" "Nah, I guess I'll wait to join you after your escape, Andy" 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 16/01/2025"Spock, is it true that Vulcans do have a sense of humour?" "Of course, Captain." "OK. How would you respond if you heard "knock, knock?" "I'd radio Mr Scot to tell him the big ends need lubricating." 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 16/01/2025Oh, sir, you were about to ask if my gun was loaded 0170
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 15/01/2025"George, there's a guy works down the chip shop thinks he's Elvis." 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 14/01/2025When she's drained you but you still have to go to work. 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 14/01/2025"Spock, how do you deal with corruption on Vulcan?" "We sell them to the Klingons as slaves. How about on earth, Captain?" "We make them a Knight or a Dame." 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 13/01/2025"So, where did you get that poster from, Andy?" "I won it in this week's Best Escape Plan competition, Red" 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 05/01/2025"Could I have a word with Musk please. He's getting on my tits" 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 05/01/2025"Do you get snow on Vulcan, Spock?" "Of course, Captain, we used it to boldly go into the garden and build images of Earthlings and whistle the theme music from Jaws." 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 04/01/2025"Move your hand one inch higher, Gene, and crushed nuts won't have a chance compared with yours" 010
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 03/01/2025When Christmas and New Year is over and you've had a dump the size of a small island 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 01/01/2025Happy New Year my lovelies and anyone else who sees this 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 30/12/2024"Do you have a copy of 'Chimneys: fought and conquered' by S. Claus?" 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 30/12/2024Yeah, there's a shortage of a few desirable things 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 30/12/2024"So, Spock, how will you be celebrating New Year?" "Logically, Captain, I will take down the old calendar and put up the new one." 030
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 30/12/2024Good day, fellow humans, and other who may still be with us. 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 27/12/2024"Spock, what do you think 2025 has in store?" "Logically, Captain, I think we should boldly sod off!" 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 27/12/2024Kraft and its owner have finally fucked up Cadburys, despite there promises a decade ago, as it loses it's royal warrant 010
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 23/12/2024It's official: 2024 sales of left handed mugs is the highest since records began. 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 22/12/2024Christmas always reminds me that my mother instilled into me* never to speak to strangers, then sat me on the lap of a weirdo in red who hadn't shaved and promised to visit me in the night before Christmas with a present!! *I was only 40 at the time 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 21/12/2024"Spock, how is Christmas celebrated on Vulcan?" "Usually, Captain, we make a spaghetti Bolognese big enough to feed the entire planet." 010
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 19/12/2024Rose's are red Violet's are blue What colour are yours, Spock Go on, give us a clue (Bandwagon jumping and the apostrophes are correct) 000
Jake Thorne @jakethorne.bsky.social · 17/12/2024All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names (but no more) 010