Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Ugh I don’t want to see any more of these Swiftie posts. 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Sounds like you need a new Woman of Intimate and Financial Entwinement 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 19/09/2026There once was a man from Fox News Who mostly subsisted on booze Now we pay out the ass For diesel and gas Cause he fell on his face in Hormuz 021
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 18/09/2026RFK Jr announces plan to criminalize looking both ways before crossing the street in a win for traffic skeptics 0324
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 18/09/2026RFK Jr announces plan to criminalize looking both ways before crossing the street in a win for traffic skeptics 010
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 10/09/2026Jesus was a stickler for getting confusing names right. When Judas mispronounced the location for one of their picnics as “Cavalry”, He retorted “It’s Calvary, and I will die on this hill!” 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Thinking of writing a juvenile fiction novel, set at a summer jubilee when the full moon has a little wane, where some hot boys go for a swim and meet the birdman, who sends them on a mystikal quest for a Master P, er key 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 29/08/2026If you’re having sewer clown problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 red balloons but It’s ain’t one 010
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 21/08/2026They don’t tell you how much of fatherhood is just getting kicked in the nuts a lot 110
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Not a lot of people know that Dr. Mix-a-Lot wrote treatises on many parts of the body before his seminal work on the butt earned him the knighthood. 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 11/08/2026I tried to grease palms down at city hall but they arrested me for spreading crisco on a sago 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 15/07/2026I like how the national anthem allows a little musical performance before a sporting event, but I think it should go the other way, too. Before the symphony starts, we should have someone come in and smack a baseball up to the balcony seats. 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 14/07/2026#neworleans you know you want to come out and dance to some ridiculous original New Orleans #Christmasmusic this Friday, it’s a gloriously goofy fun show, come say hi and hohoho! 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 10/07/2026#NOLAsky #NOLATwitter ! Catch some Christmas in July fun with the Hunks of Coal tonight at 30/90, next Friday at NOLA Brewing or 7/24 at Maidstone! Featuring the hit “It’s Always Christmas Time at Snake & Jake’s” open.spotify.com/album/6dzQnj... 100
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 02/07/2026Hot take: the recipient of that letter didn’t give a shit about those icebox plums 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 01/07/2026🎶 And I was born on the bench seat of a Supreme court justice Rolling back the Civil Rights Act Title 1 🎶 010
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 29/06/2026Each state gets a feature at the Great American State Fair. So far it’s been Wyoming displaying its signature lack of density. 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 29/06/2026Gonna go re-read Jurassic Park with this pronunciation 130
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 29/06/2026They’d have cool waves if they had more cool ranches 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 29/06/2026<Searching BlueSky for mentions of “trombone” to talk about the world’s greatest noisemaker with like minded folks> <99% of them are “sad trombone noise”.> <Sad trombone noise.> 010
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 27/06/2026Kinda crazy that for most of human history, people didn’t need to worry about holding it 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 27/06/2026Looking forward to their version of a diss track against New Orleans 010
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 27/06/2026Oh no you matched with a kind man who is trying to improve the lives of children that might come back to bite you 051
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 27/06/2026Constance? Constance! CONSTANCE!!! CON- (sobbing)….. COOOOONSTAAAAANAAANCE!!!!! 010
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 26/06/2026Shit is f’d up but at least you can come to New Orleans and go to an X-games themed Christmas-in-July pool party with live music by a band called Space Bidet, another singing original ribald Christmas songs and two other bangin bands 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 26/06/2026At least she won’t have to pay the May Queen as much for spring cleaning 020
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 25/06/2026Whales are cool and all but if not for them there’s a good chance penguins would have kept getting bigger and bigger and not stopped at the already crazy sized colossal penguin which was about 7 feet tall and built like a tank. 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 24/06/2026My daughter carries her device* everywhere around the house, even outside. When I tell her to put it down she just screams and cries. I worry it’s becoming part of her. *half-eaten strawberry 010
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 23/06/2026(Me clapping my hands together after stuffing all my loose guns into the closet and shoving the door shut as I get ready to host a dinner party with an eclectic mysterious guest list): well that’s another thing on the list I can checkoff! 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 23/06/2026I’m thinking Mr Clean sneaks up behind him with a chloroform rag 210
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 22/06/2026static.klipy.comThe Simpsons: Bart's Trumpet BopALT: The Simpsons: Bart's Trumpet Bop 030
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 22/06/2026My favorite is A Streetcar Named Desiresaurus 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 22/06/2026Today my daughter playacted putting me down for a nap, patted my head with loving kindness and whispering the soft words “go sleep, go sleep”. She walked away as I closed my eyes, basking in fatherly comfort, and then two seconds later she hit me with a full roundhouse slap in the face 020
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 18/06/2026Me, hitting on sailors in a Nantucket gay bar: “Call me, Ishmael.” 010
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 16/06/2026Most of the movie is spiderman going around after a hurricane moving peoples generators away from open windows 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 14/06/2026I agree but I don’t think you need to bang your drum about it 000
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 14/06/2026I was sad that #NewOrleans disnt get any World Cup matches but then I saw we have the North American International Pokémon Championships here this week, so World Cup would have been a bit too much #nolasky 030
Elephrombone @jackasspenguin2.bsky.social · 14/06/2026Mayor Mamdani is a jolly Zohran Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are orange 110
