Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 06/10/2026me when i finally put microsoft copilot on my government computer and it prints out the gay cowboy mexican short novel ive been writing in Word at my supervisors office with timestamps and dates. 020
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 02/10/2026people my age with 3+ kids: show me 3 college funds, 3 cars, and 6 dental cleanings a year. quickly!! 010
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 02/10/2026a marriage only works when the woman is highly demanding and selfish and intelligent and the man thinks she’s an earth goddess that deserves offerings for doing nothing except being a huge bitch 154
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 02/10/2026the country turned south when we banned mint juul pods and white peach white owls. 110
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 02/10/2026now that i’m an adult, i still don’t understand why my damn grandpa went to the post office and bank everyday. 010
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 29/09/2026she tried to derpcore in a non-ironic way and everyone got uncomfortable. 010
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 29/09/2026thinking about when one of the apartment buildings in my complex burned down and our little community filled the food pantry in less than a day, then they moved to a church, filled that up then had to open 2 other churches for donations 220
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 26/09/2026could a depressed person do this? and it’s me in my driveway drinking an entire bottle of wine listening to Jamiroquai at 10 am 000
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 25/09/2026a man will dog you out the first chance he gets so get your lick first sisters 010
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 22/09/2026why do gods most beautiful angels (me) have a career in a demanding nonprofit (my job) 010
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 21/09/2026i’m not sad that my ectopic pregnancy caused a clump of cells to be removed from my body. i’m sad that i almost died. i am so tired of pregnancy loss awareness being tied to a loss of a fetus and not the women that it almost killed. 130
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 17/09/2026i am having the worst morning. my natural nails are too long and strong for me to reach the volume buttons on my new iPad. 000
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 05/09/2026my husband just told me when we got approved for our house he wanted it to be a surprise so he didn’t even tell my cat because he was worried “she can communicate with you” 120
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 04/09/2026i wish they put a couple “average girls” on reality dating shows for comparison. like here’s Shan from Iowa and she’s a farmer. 030
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 01/09/2026one of my major critiques of rich people is that they don’t use their money right. if i had a million dollars i would have the biggest boobs you’ve ever seen and a zebra 011
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 31/08/2026BREAKING: Mayor Mallow has opened gunfire at Papa’s Pancakeria with an assault rifle killing 12 and injuring 9. This story is developing. 010
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 29/08/2026me and my mom drank 3 bottles of wine at her birthday brunch and now my brother is driving f us home bc he’s the only person that wanted to be around us lmaoooo 020
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 28/08/2026yes, i have done/participated in every gender arrangement of the eiffel tower, and yes, i am still a virgin. 010
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 25/08/2026im so serious the states of tennessee and kentucky need to be shut down for the rest of the work week. we cannot continue on like this. 010
Reposted by Seymour Buttsrattgirrll 💫 spooky squeaker edition @princesspabst.bsky.social · 25/08/2026hearing about dolly parton passing at work caught me so off guard i started crying. she did a lot of good for poor kids with access to free books, my kids being two of them. their bookshelf is filled with imagination library books. 1726
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library became available to all 120 Kentucky counties in 2024, earning her the highest form of recognition the Commonwealth of Kentucky can give, a Kentucky Colonel. The Honorable Dolly Parton gave so much to us, a historically undereducated region. Thank you, Dolly 💗🦋 021
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Dolly Parton was a saint to my people, Appalachians. I am so devastated to hear this news, and I will be thinking about how Dolly had touched so many peoples lives of all kinds. 040
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 24/08/2026i have always loved country music, and the resurgence of “good” post 9/11 country (tyler childers, sturgill simpson), has become like too meta? and i’ve horseshoed back to Florida Georgia Line 000
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Chanty Beluga has taken me over so badly i had a dream about someone named Flick Wintry last night 010
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 21/08/2026“girly” games and its just games where you can’t kill people 011
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 18/08/2026i’ve convinced myself my vaginal boil is a spiritual attack by people that are jealous of my WAP so i’ve been listening to sensual funk and cleaning my kitchen to keep my sacral and root chakra open. 010
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 12/08/2026EPD getting called a loser by Chris Chan had to have caused some sort of rip in our cosmic continuum 000
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 12/08/2026i just got 6-7’d by the sheriff (doing 67 mph in a 45) 001
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 11/08/2026the best thing about being the childless friend (auntie)!!!!! spending all your money on the MOM registry instead of the baby!!!!!!!! yes i will go to prenatal yoga with you!!!!!! yes here are your silk pajamas!!!!! 120
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 10/08/2026i just did the eat breakfast and drink water before work prank #prank 010
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 07/08/2026it’s not very becoming of a young lady to pee in the woods in mixed company 110
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 06/08/2026i will never delete fb bc there are two women that tell everything they know on there and i like reading it 120
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 06/08/2026my favorite horror movie is House of 1000 Corpses. not because it’s a great horror movie, but because Rob Zombie is dedicated to showing us how hot his wife is. 010
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 31/07/2026my mom gave me a 5mg thc hot chocolate last night and i went to the moon literally haven’t had any cannabis product in 3 years 030
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 31/07/2026whoever hid the better homes and gardens snickerdoodle candles behind rows of other candles at walmart your moms a hoe 110
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 29/07/2026now, late july-aug 1 is when you can set our sugar cookie and gourmand scents NOT PUMPKIN. you can get out sunflower themed items NOT LEAVES. on september ONE you layer leaves and pumpkins on top of the sunflowers/late produce themed items. 000
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 29/07/2026did you know if you put 10% of your paycheck into a retirement, when you’re 75 and your brain is mashed potatoes you’ll have 4 million dollars. 131
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 28/07/2026one time i went to my moms classrooms musical performance when she taught SPED and she had to tackle a nonverbal teenage boy when she was dressed as Sia 000
Seymour Butts @jaaaails.bsky.social · 24/07/2026i bought the bald and beautiful patreon so Katy can get a new colon #philanthropy 010
