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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet

@invincible-spidey.bsky.social
274 followers 481 following 262 posts

If you have the possibility to do spectacular things to better the lives of other people, it’s your moral responsibility to do those things. It’s your responsibility. If you refuse, and bad things happen? It’s on you.

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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
“I feel like I swung by on a very private conversation. I should leave”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
“Hey guys, what’s WOAH”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Omni-Man hates me. But I think it’s because I dissed the moustache
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
It’s a miracle that people match with me. I think people just secretly really like Spiders. Or hate them. There is no in between
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
“Well, we got to give comfort when we come to rescue you and when we leave you in a safe place. You know. If you’re watching us leave.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
According to the clickbait articles, I was caught eating a Chicago deep dish pizza in New York. I swear. It wasn’t what it looked like
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
// I have been tempted to have the face claim of Agent Spider to be the original face model of Insomniac Spider-Man. To continue the trend of “Almost Kind Of Sort Of Spider-Man” but I realize that with Agent Spider, literally anyone could be behind the mask.
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
he followed her, trying to walk as casually as possible to hide his ‘excitement’. But clearly failing. He whistles a tune, looking left to right, before entering the bathroom and webbing up an Out Of Order sign to the door
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
// still haunted by the Bugles ad and really happy that according to the YouTube comment section, I’m not the only one who remembered it having a Xenomorph. I’d say it’s a Mandela Effect thing, but nah. We all just misremembered it
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
That’s the thing about Xenomorphs. They can show up anywhere. Even in your ads for Bugles.
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Vincent could feel his face getting redder under his mask. He cleared his throat, looking from left to right “I mean, we could. It doesn’t even have to be a bathroom. Hypothetically, I mean. I mean, if we are talking about the same thing. Which if we are I’m down. In more ways than one”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
“Not currently. I had a few in the past but…the classic Valet misfortune… …uh, long story short? Not currently.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
“Hey. At least I can actually do what a spider can. Can you fly?”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
“Hell yeah we do.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
“Did you know bats can create small likes of their own poop and regularly pee on themselves?”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
“I’m not making any deals with Satan. Maybe that Darkblood guy though. He seems…chill. For a demon.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
“Probably leads to Spider Society hook ups. Not that I’ve personally witnessed it. Whenever those guys get together it’s usually business first. ……although come to think of it. There is always a really long line to the bathroom.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
“Just call it being frisky. I’m pretty sure most of us have that one cat themed frenemy who… You know what? Nevermind. You guys probably get it.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
“I…is spider mating season real? Is that why the Spider-Society bans gatherings on certain times of the year?”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
“Um…thanks? Deodorant, you know. Crime fighting can get a bit…um… …I…don’t think I have had a mating season thing. Unless you count that one time on top of the Brooklyn Bridge with my girlfriend. It was a heat of the moment thing… …wait, is this like that one lady with the pheremones?”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
“Spider what season?”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
“Don’t spit acid at her feet! Knowing how unlucky us spiders are with money, she could pay rent with photos of those.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
“Been trying to make a list of possible canon events. And redheads and cat girls are on there. …also an upside down kiss.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
“Did you say My Damn Web?”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
“In all honesty, I feel like he was trying to make that his catchphrase. Although, he’s gonna need to work on that. Maybe dress up like a circus ringmaster. Then I think it would be a little less…well, forced.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
“HEY IM SWINGING HERE!”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
“Geez. Uh…I know he’s a criminal and all, but you should probably get him some medical attention. …wait is he the guy who keeps asking if the circus is in town?”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
“People still tie folks to railroad tracks?”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
“Currently? No one. I did date a secretary, a cheerleader, a reporter, a model… …but much like this conversation? Fully admit I fumbled…how about you?”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
“Turns out, I’m going to have an awkward conversation.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
“Turns out, that IS his mom. And he’s going to have a very…awkward conversation later.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
“Hey. Isn’t that the guy who makes the videos of people reacting to multi-coloured horses and also makes demolition derby videos?”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
“I like living on the edge. Fighting crimes. Spinning webs.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
“…that was intentional, right? Mood swings? The pun?”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
slow clap “…respect…”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
“Ah. Tabloids”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
“…I’m sorry. Pheremones?”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
“By the way, beneath this mask I’m not named Peter. Nor am I related to him. ……I…think?”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
// There isn’t much known about Agent Spider canonically but according to one of the games, he never shuts up. Seems about right
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
“So I keep hearing jokes about small potatoes and I don’t get it.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
“Oh. OH. The wizard guy! Well? Yeah. I mean, unless it’s a particularly good apple.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
“When I go into tentacle mode? Well, I did consider making mechanical spider arms, but those are a bit expensive to make. Also not tentacles.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Ah. Branding. I guess it does have a bit of a ring to it. But it’s going to take a bit to learn the different pronunciation between Craftwork and CRFTWRK. I mean, it’s basically the same.
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
“An apple a day keeps the doctor with tentacles away.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
I mean, I feel like I may be biased. I got an A on my chest. I’m also short on money. But who isn’t these days?
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Horribly. We’re so dirt poor, we can’t even afford to buy a vowel, apparently
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
he states for a moment “Well if that’s the powerhouse of muscles in the family, I’m sure Tony has the brain power to add lasers. Almost positive.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
“You can’t? Shame. You really should add that feature.”
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
// I legit didn’t get it until halfway through writing that reply That OH was legitimate
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Agent Spider | Vincent Valet @invincible-spidey.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
“Well you’re looking downward…I think? If someone is going to look at me with a robot helmet, I’d rather they’d look at me in the face area and not my legs.”
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