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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼

@illpod.bsky.social
329 followers 555 following 2K posts

words and foods. one time a slug crawled into my beer and i nearly drank him. the flowers bloom and the trains collide

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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 4h
least popular team just got eliminated
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 13h
Yes. There will be bacchanal-level eruptions of joy. They might run out of citywides. The Skook will be 25% alcohol, 50% urine and 25% wooder that night
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
nobel prize
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Heaven help you if you're also a Penn State fan on top of this (seriously, seek the confessional booth) because that team has driven directly off the cliff in the past 10 days
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
• Flyers lose four straight to start the year, look like dogwater • Phillies lose in Wild Card to hated division rival Braves (Bryce Harper failed to drink enough raw milk to overcome fielding deficiencies) • Lebron says on Media Day he wanted to play for Knicks and lives in NYC instead of PHL
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
To recap: • Eagles lose by 3 scores to a 3rd-string QB; • they then blow a 10-point lead 6 days later while going 0-12 on 3rd down; • while also losing Saquon (and backup RB Tank Bigsby) to injury; • and a surprise inactive for Lane Johnson becomes a retirement; • That's just the EAGLES week
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Philadelphians are one Lebron James Achilles' tear away from mass conflagrations
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
nic carter is only a lateral step from homer simpson logic
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The thing about fascism is the trains are supposed to run on time!!!! we can't even get that right
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The @savthorpecap.bsky.social signal has been lit
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Love to see autocorrect change "we're" to "were" and then give me a little blue squiggle as it later realizes that's wrong. Don't know what to tell ya, bud! That's on you!
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
DEFINITELY doesn’t look like a hot air balloon sir, not at all
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Hey @nytimes, do you think it’s appropriate for one of your writers to be publicly advocating us to take in the aromas of what Dwayne Johnson is concocting? I’m being told he wants to bake me into a “poontang pie”?!? Mods! Mods!!
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
it’s gonna be Miley, right?
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
h2p imo
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Saw Tim Pool backstage at the Smashing Pumpkins show last night. Yeah he wears that stupid fuckin beanie everywhere
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Nikki from SSPU!
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
currently inside the house at the Weezer show AMA
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Reposted by transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼
Timothy Burke @bubbaprog.xyz · 02/10/2026
iso cam on Charissa Thompson as she's forced to listen to praise of a rapist
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
unclear if you mean Bluesky or New England
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
As a fellow Millersville alum, and I think the ONLY big leaguer who was a Marauder, I hope he plays forever.
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
What a Fool Conceives
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
i've never played minecraft but my hunch is that the frustrations of terraforming and city planning with a playstation controller are not unlike trying to go 10-7 with kenny pickett
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Love to invoke the bleak despair of the Dust Bowl in an era of increasing droughts, the precarity of the Midwestern cattle market, and rapidly decreasing labor force participation
A barn and a homesteader's bleak property in southeastern Colorado during the Dust Bowl of the 1930s
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Arthur Miller has entered the chat.
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
As far as I can tell, this person has been accused of SA on a Threads post that was a sorta *share your story* in response to the Cornell 7 publicity. This guy sounds awful, and I sure hope HR is doing what they need to! But there's just no connection to Cornell 7, and saying it does isn't helpful.
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
As a note for how rapidly (dis)information can spread, the company I work for has been receiving daily emails and social media posts that an employee is "one of the Cornell 7." This isn't true and is relatively easy to fact-check, but that hasn't stopped the wave of irate inquests.
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
there were other pilots on the flight just not in uniform
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
This is the face of a man wondering where he can get raccoon scrapple
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
part of the reason I transferred out of college in Florida was the persistence and ubiquity of Greek life to the extent that people were calling me “GDI” (god damn independent) for not pledging my first month there
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Austin Riley just dragged the Phillies into the shadow realm. Appropriate, too, given the way the light is hitting White Flight Park on this late September afternoon
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Just remembering my day started with the chimney-repair guy calling me to reschedule because he was on his way "to the detective's" because his teenage daughter was "being groomed by her mother's husband." I think a "hey a family emergency came up, I'll reach back out soon" would've been fine
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
the men that have been excised from our friend group for SA are still gainfully employed and well-respected in their creative circles. it's a smallish city and people simply don't want to believe "it" can happen "here"
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Reposted by transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼
Peter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
the thing about the "you're out of touch if you haven't heard this song" discourse is that radio has been dead for well over a decade. it's extremely normal to listen to a lot of music but still never hear the songs at the top of the charts.
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
We simply have to keep the story alive through dramatic oral retellings like we’re the traveling Shakespeare troupe in Station Eleven
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Found the reason for the flailing Eagles run game this season
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I think this is all remarkably consistent teenage (albeit dramatic, ha ha) behavior. But it’s not as though Emma’s being treated THAT unfairly. You don’t get credit for not killing someone because the gun jammed.
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
This critique carefully elides that Emma didn’t actively decide to stop her own massacre because of a moral shift; she’s dissuaded because the *same exact event* occurred nearby, robbing her the notoriety she seeks. She then finds purchase in an anti-gun club because a cute boy compliments her.
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
You can also just hear Taylor sing about it herself in her new hit song “Wyomissing!” Sample lyric: “He took me to the Reading Mall / Boscov’s discounts, and that ain’t all!”
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I’ve read Tanier’s piece and I disagree with it on the merits. Having Kraft, Parsons, Bako-Bewele, and Wyatt back is a better roster than what they had in December! Now if you’re saying they didn’t add depth; sure, but that’s kinda what happens in a capped league!
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
They’ve got shades of beige there we colonists can’t imagine
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Re-reading "Common Sense" and it struck me that England's pretty damn tiny. It's the size of New Jersey and Pennsylvania stuck together, and without any of the hoagie sensibilities.
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
what if I bring it to my job interview alongside my iced coffee
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j0shc @wrestlingbrain.net · 25/09/2026
It brings me so much peace knowing that every old person I see with tons of tattoos looks extremely cool. That was always the rub when I was young, people saying “they’re going to look bad when you’re old” and it is seeming more and more that the exact opposite is true and I’m gonna look wicked
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Love to see the love for I May Destroy You's single season cracking the top 20. An otherworldly journey and one of the best finales ever. I feel the complete opposite about the OA even sniffing the end of this list. Absolute diaper pail of a show
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
OK. If you felt like, as I do, GB was just a "normal special teams effort" away from winning one, probably both Chicago games, you can see why running it back with largely the same roster made sense. Maybe it still does, but damn, that O-line looks incredibly lost right now.
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I don’t know if it’s positive, but I don’t really extrapolate from September football anymore. I don’t know that you can glean much given that these games now function as the de facto preseason.
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
So how do you convince Texas to keep running super-corrupt creeps as a long-term strategy
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I don’t think anyone can glean anything from September football anymore
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transylvan(ian) 🧛🏼 @illpod.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Shawn Smith?
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