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Gozan

@ijagozan.bsky.social
195 followers 458 following 470 posts

No pronouns, please. Y'all just use them to talk about me behind my back

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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
When picking a dentist, use the same rule as when picking a barber; pick the one with the worst teeth
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Trump's plan is to make a meme coin named 5000 and give everyone one $5000 coin
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
So this week a head of state and someone who was in Home Alone 2 died. Unfortunately they were two different people
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
FFS, Death, you can't just keep killing 80-year olds until you hit the right one
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Descartes did his best work at night. Hence his famous saying, "I think, therefore 1 AM"
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
If countries had slogans, Scotlands would be "We hated them first!"
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
Cleanliness is next to godliness if you have a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really abridged dictionary
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
An important key to understanding the mindset of the Iberians is that out of all of Christendom, they were the only ones to go "I'm a gonna name MY kid Jesus"
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
In the shadows, signing secret orders: - I sure wish I could read what I'm signing
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
I KNEW IT
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
"The princess is in anther castle" but instead of Toad it's a wrestler and the beatdown is in THIS castle
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
What Mega Man slashfic is this from
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
A summary of US history: In the 18th century the American colonies rose in rebellion under the slogan "No taxation without representation", and since then the US has been split into a side seeking to make sure everyone is represented in governance, and a side who thought they fought to end taxation
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
"Maybe the real treasure was the Friends we made along the way?" -NBC executives evaluating their IPs
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
1) Rogue. Drain my essence, mistress! 2) Shelob. Suck me dry, queen! 3) Wonder Woman. Tie me up, goddess! 4) The Borg Queen. She can disassemble her body, so on vacations she can travel as luggage
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
I swear I'll
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 07/02/2026
The first wine reviewers: Person A: We need to create some terminology. How would you describe this liquid? Person B: Crisp. Person A: what Person C: I was thinking ...dry. Person A: WHAT
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
With the amount of ketamine Musk is doing, he must be so disassociated from reality everything must seem like a video game. He could probably be gaslit into thinking he can quicksave and go on a rampage ...Who am I kidding, Musk doesn't play enough games to know what quicksave is
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 19/01/2026
I think that we should stop worrying about selling technology to China that their military might use against us in a worst-case scenario, and instead sell them technology so that their military could use it against us in a worst-case scenario
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
Guys I found out why Trump think Greenland and Venezuela are vital to the security of North America
Cutout of the Risk board, showing how Greenland and Venezuela are two of the three routes into North America
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
Pros and cons of traveling to the US now: Cons: You have to scrub your social media and phone to not get detained and deported Pros: If he dies when you are there, it'd be like being in Brazil when they win the World Cup
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
Putting up a new post so the guy who likes one of my posts each time I like one of his posts has something to like
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 15/09/2025
Why did no one tell me 50 Cent is 50. Think of all the jokes we could have made
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 14/09/2025
So on Youtube I got recommended Chumbawamba's "The Day the Nazi Died" - the resistance is alive and everywhere
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
How is this the most rap name involved in the Kendrick-Drake saga
Lawyer Rollin A Ransom
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 14/07/2025
Bold of them to just advertise like that
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 07/05/2025
They should decide it by an Eucharist eating competition. Whoever can eat the most Christ becomes pope
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
They should make Gabe Newell president. Only way to avoid World War 3
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
Five romance movies etc: 3-Iron July Rain Kamikaze Girls Chungking Express The Important Thing is To Love
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 27/03/2025
Decided it was time to change. Turned my life around 180. Forgot I was on radians. Think I'm gonna vomit.
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 14/02/2025
Happy Valentine's to those who partake. Personally, I feel that the expectation of romance lessens the impact. I much prefer to be romantic on days when you don't expect it, like Halloween or 9/11
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 09/12/2024
Some Wikipedia pages whose title has pleased me greatly recently: Witches of Warboys Master of the Female Half-Lengths Bitch Wars
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 29/11/2024
"The jerk store called, and they're running out of you." - Childish - Nonsensical "The jerky store called, and they're running out of you." - Ominous - Savoury
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 23/11/2024
Not saying anybody should do crimes, but if you do, it'd please me greatly if you could leave on the scene a ziploc bag inside a ziploc bag marked 'Evidence A' inside a ziploc bag marked 'Evidence C'
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 23/11/2024
Good fences make good neighbors, electric fences make electric neighbors
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 16/11/2024
The main reason Trump got re-elected is simply because a lot of Americans thought he has a big brain. ...Especially that one guy in Pennsylvania.
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Gozan @ijagozan.bsky.social · 15/11/2024
You want high IQ people working 80 hours of week for 0 pay? Best I can do is 80 IQ people working 0 hours for high pay
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