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Barbie Koelker

@idigress.net
607 followers 411 following 450 posts

Tech Marketer for Hire. Nerd. Caffeinated Cat Lady. DTLA. 🌸🌴🩵

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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 07/01/2026
To walk through 2026 with the confidence of _final.pdf but the foresight of _YYYYMMDD_HHMM.psd
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 01/01/2026
Happy new year! May you find vengeance, redemption, peace, or whatever your heart desires in 2026! 🥂🎉
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 25/12/2025
Ripping the emotional bandage off and opening the holiday with It’s a Wonderful Life. 😭
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 11/12/2025
Attending the GamesBeat Hollywood & Games event? See you there!
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 07/12/2025
Ritz crackers with cream cheese and a glass of eggnog at 2am? Yup. Nocturnal girl dinner.
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 09/11/2025
Her Meowjesty, Princess Penny, crossed over the rainbow bridge yesterday. Penny, you are so loved. 🤍 🌈 🐾 Thank you for walking up to me in an alley in 2009. Thank you for being such a wonderful little sister to Munchkin, a big sister to Luffy, a momma to Vivi & Sanji, and a grandma to Lily.
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 18/08/2025
Fahrenheit is for humans. Celsius is for water. Kelvin is for planets.
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 17/08/2025
150 days of Penny being such a brave and strong fighter. Thank you for every bonus day you give me, little lady. 🥹 You are so patient and trusting through the supplements, insulin, and trips to the vet’s office. I love you so so much. 🩷🐾
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 11/08/2025
I just tried to label a column as “2024 Q5”. It should be 2026 Q1. I’m losing years and gaining quarters over here. 😅
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 05/08/2025
When an ad licenses a song you haven’t heard in forever, and now you’ve gone down a rabbit hole. 🕳️ youtu.be/hqthspSKZV8?...
youtu.be
Loituma "Ievan polkka"
YouTube video by kantelar
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 03/08/2025
Marketing is a beautiful, albeit chaotic blend of art & science. We are creators & analysts, seeking to resonate with our audiences to amplify growth.
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 01/08/2025
Ever since Penny came home from the hospital, I've been tracking her food intake down to the gram, taking note what percentage of her calories have come from kibble, wet food, and treats. #SeniorCats
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 27/07/2025
To the people who drive with their music so loud that it can be clearly and loudly heard from 200 feet away and through thick glass … what’s your favorite brand of hearing aids? Also, is your car super glued together? Or do you have to tighten a bunch of parts after every few songs?
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 27/07/2025
Say what you will about #adtech. The most egregious false advertising I routinely come across is our cat Luffy laying belly up in the hallway. It’s a lie. It’s always a lie.
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 26/07/2025
Absolutely brilliant. 😂
variety.com
Gwyneth Paltrow Is Astronomer’s ‘Temporary Spokesperson’ After CEO, HR Chief Resign Following Coldplay Kiss Cam Scandal
Gwyneth Paltrow joins in on the Astronomer Coldplay kissing scandal as the company's 'temporary spokesperson.'
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 21/07/2025
4 months ago today, Penny landed in the hospital. She fought her way through DKA, a blood transfusion, & so much more. 17 weeks ago today, Penny had surgeries to remove her spleen — and a massive tumor on it — and get a feeding tube. Today, Penny is a purry, sassy, nearly 17 year old lady.
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 14/07/2025
“We have a pet friendly office!” “Is it cat friendly?” “…” “…” “I’ll find out!” “Okay, thanks!” “… thanks for applying to …” 🤷‍♀️😹
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 10/07/2025
When it’s one of those days, so your spouse sends you a video of the pastry options at the grocery store. 🥹
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 08/07/2025
I had no idea this version existed, nor how much I needed to hear it. 😭 open.spotify.com/track/7oyoi2...
open.spotify.com
The Middle
Stillman · The Middle · Song · 2023
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 07/07/2025
It’s so strange. I was born in 1985, and yet here I am, living in 1984. 🤔😔
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 07/07/2025
Just finished submitting all the scores and notes for the award category I was judging for the US Travel ESTOS Awards. Several solid campaigns, some fuzzy impact numbers, and one campaign that made me cry it was so good. Good luck to everyone!
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 07/07/2025
BRB gonna add the ability to successfully negotiate with a spoiled senior cat — who can’t hear, has high expectations, and imposes ever-shifting priorities & preferences — to my resume. 😅 PS: Penny is eating wet food and even a bit of kibble today (after her treats-only protest yesterday)
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 04/07/2025
One year ago right now, EMTs were plucking me off the pavement after I crashed an electric scooter and was pretty banged up. A couple hospitals, a bunch of stitches, a metal plate & 10 screws, and lots of patience later, I’ve since walked nearly 600 miles. Thanks, science! 😅🙌🏼
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 04/07/2025
Cat treat: next to water dish Penny: yells at me, face 1 inch from mine Me: gently holds cat treat dish in front of her Penny: finally, I can eat!
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 03/07/2025
Interviewed for a dream job today. Penny’s glucose crashed during the call. Smearing syrup on a cat’s gums while still telling your life story is just proof of managing multiple priorities at once, right?
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 29/06/2025
100 days of hopes, fears, pleas to the universe, cuddles, blood draws, medicine, and more.
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 27/06/2025
Shot glass of hot sauces & ghost pepper salt time! (Yay migraines)
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 22/06/2025
Caturday stroll with Princess Penny. 👑😻☀️🌴
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 20/06/2025
When your diabetic kitty’s glucose has been too erratic today, so you’re nervous to fall asleep. 😬 Thankful my Apple Watch will yell at me if her sugar dips again? Definitely. Still setting alarms throughout the night? Yup. 😩
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 19/06/2025
Tired? Check. Cat sleeping with her head on my arm? Check. Sitting here forever unable to sleep myself? Check.
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 11/06/2025
Whoever figured out where to place a glucose monitor on a cat: thank you. 🙏 I cannot imagine trying to regulate Penny’s glucose without this device. She can’t use words to explain how she feels, and a dip is so NOT obvious. 🥹
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 04/06/2025
Eternally thankful for Penny’s trust in me. Between syringes full of supplements, insulin twice a day, subcutaneous fluids every other day, and a new glucose monitor every 15 days, I’m constantly fussing over her. Somehow, she still meows at me for cuddles and purrs.
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 03/06/2025
SSP curation? My night owl version of this is Selective Stock Photo curation. 😅
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 24/05/2025
My affinity for alliteration and acronyms may be the death of me.
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 21/05/2025
Someone ban me from taking naps on weekdays. 😩 A 40 minute snooze several hours ago will keep me up far too late for my 9am call.
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 18/05/2025
When you have a disengaged user, how many different messaging appeals do you try? If your audience is anything like my fussy and frequently unimpressed elderly cat, have a handful of options ready. (No, this isn’t her ideal food. It’s one of those days as she wraps up a round of antibiotics.)
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 14/05/2025
Hello, bartender + pharmacist multi-class. Cheers to safely masking the bitterness of my eldest kitty’s anti-nausea meds.
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 12/05/2025
Analysis paralysis on what to analyze? This post might be from the Marketoonist archives, but confusion over what questions to ask and how to measure persist. 🫠 marketoonist.com/2013/11/focu...
marketoonist.com
focus group - Marketoonist | Tom Fishburne
Market research is a vital part of marketing. Understanding the consumer is the foundation of every meaningful brand. Yet market research can go overboard. Focus groups are frequently called as a…
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 07/05/2025
How do you avoid digital distractions? My phone is forever in one of multiple scheduled focus modes. If it's not on my calendar, a message from a contact on my favorites list, or a glucose alert for my senior cat, the notification is buried. marketoonist.com/2025/02/digi...
marketoonist.com
Digital Distractions and Finding Focus cartoon - Marketoonist | Tom Fishburne
We need to find time for focus to do our best work. Ironically some of the tools we use to make us more productive are designed to steal focus. Distraction is the default setting. Some of this…
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 06/05/2025
Trying something new can be invigorating, but it can also be mentally taxing, particularly if it comes with fear of failure. Accepting mistakes as part of the learning process can help alleviate some of that exhaustion.
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 05/05/2025
Insights should be clear, accurate, and actionable. If your market research is too slow, the market will move before you can act. 🙃 marketoonist.com/2025/02/evol...
marketoonist.com
Market Research Pitfalls cartoon - Marketoonist | Tom Fishburne
Early in my marketing career, at General Mills, we used to hold focus groups in a Minneapolis suburb called Eden Prairie. I once overheard a couple of our agency partners jokingly refer to this focus…
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 27/04/2025
Don’t tell my chonker Luffy, but the special treat he’s been sneaking in the den is actually prescription diabetic kibble for his elder sister. 😅
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 26/04/2025
11 years ago today, Munchkin crossed over the rainbow bridge just shy of his 17th birthday. 🌈 Every year, we get a sausage pizza on this day to commemorate him, as it was his favorite. (He even ate a full slice once when humans weren’t looking! 😅)
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 21/04/2025
Penny just had her four week follow-up ultrasound with oncology. No visible cancer! 🙌🏼 Now we just have to see if her kidneys can calm down enough to continue chemo. 🙏 Thank you, again, to everyone who has expressed their love and support. We are so so thankful to have a happy Penny. 🥹
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 21/04/2025
Q for cat food manufacturers: do they formulate the gravy in wet cat food to have the same calories per gram as the meaty morsels? Trying to more accurately measure my 16.5yo cat’s intake, and she tends to only lap up the gravy (to the extent I’ve been blending her food).
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 19/04/2025
We all want better ad experiences. We can pontificate on what the court's ruling on Google's advertising business will mean for the #adtech industry, but here's a better question: what will we do?
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 17/04/2025
I really thought today was Friday. What? 😫
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 15/04/2025
So thankful to hear Penny snoozing beside me. She’s been through so much over the last 3.5 weeks. It’s still an uncertain road ahead. We are waiting for labs to confirm how she tolerated the chemo. 🙏
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 09/04/2025
Forget to take breaks throughout the day? Photoshop with your aging laptop on top of a blanket. The processor will periodically chug from overheat protection, thereby reminding you to give both the machine and yourself a breather. 😅
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Barbie Koelker @idigress.net · 09/04/2025
3 wishes for a genie: 1) eradicate cancer 2) eradicate migraines 3) eradicate xenophobia If the genie is sweet, I’ll consider skipping #2 and setting them free.
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