iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Miss the times when only pms made me feel this way. Whole day I'm just feeling like I'm gonna cry. Gonna go pole in an hour, hopefully it'll go quickly because I can't wait for the day to be over so I could go to sleep q_q

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It is possible to make a tasteful nice dickpick tho! I saw it only once in some thread tutorial on how to make tasteful nice dickpicks 🤪 Kinda wish it was a common knowledge...

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Sometimes I see someone followed me and they have an interesting name or avatar. I go on their page and there's their dickpicks and buttholes 😩 Well, it is my fault for being curious I guess 🫠 But also, dude, does anyone find this sexy? Like, what's the point?

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It gets shoved down your throat no matter how much you hate it, it goes on your phones, your apps, your browsers, your games, creators you used to love turned out to be dumb enough to think it's cool. I too wish I was dumb enough to not care about any of it, because it's so tiring when you do.

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Gardening is not safe either. Neither is embroidery. Nor games, nor music, I can't think of anything that remains not stained. It's not like crypto, that was a choice, it's not like nfts, that was a hype money grab. In this there's no choice if you don't wanna see it or engage.

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No a day goes by without me seeing some ai bullshit. Actually, pole dancing might be the last safe heaven where nobody ever mentions it. Ah no, wait, I saw someone making an animated clip with one pole dancer's face... Welp, I guess there is no safe heaven then.

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I walked 9k yesterday, it was exhausting 🥲 I know your body gets used to it, but damn it was really so tiring, and it took about 2 hours q_q Idk if I have 2 hours a day to spare...maybe if I cut out all social media scrolling 🫠

Nothing like waking up at 6am and not being able to get back to sleep because HUNGERY 😩😩😩 Now I ate, it's 7, do I go back to sleep or do I suffer for the rest of the day? I have pole late in the evening qwq I have therapy in the morning... I need the energy bruh 😢

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talk about it and bring the attention to it. But I don't have the capacity right now, and I gotta be kind to myself, and I gotta feed myself positive things, because there's already too much darkness inside. Idk what I was thinking x_x but maybe I didn't expect him to talk about it too. Meh 😑

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I don't need a reminder for how hard a woman's life can be or how horrible men can be, or that there's pedos forums where they teach each other how to be the worst possible versions of themselves. My day was better before I started thinking of that. And I know this won't be dealt with if we don't

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Idk how to get horny for work today, I'm hit with a sudden sadness q_q I didn't get enough sleep, and then I doomscrolled for some reason... I guess it's time to uninstall threads, and maybe unfollow that guy that makes really good videos about feminism topics.

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It was actually a series of burnouts for me and I wasn't smart enough to see the smaller ones as a wakeup call. I don't remember the details anymore. All I know is that now I too carry these heavy stones and shine not even half as bright as before. It's a loss I still haven't processed 7 years later

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I wish I never had this experience. I wish I was more informed and would notice the signs. I wish I wasn't doing 2 years of everyday drawing challenges 🤪 It gave me a lot, but when I needed a break I kept pushing instead because it's a CHALLENGE. It's like a scar on your soul.

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I'm looking at someone who went through a burnout and I see a bit of myself in him. I think it breaks you in such a way that can never be healed. He's laughing and see sadness in his eyes. He's trying to act cheerful as before and it looks like there's heavy stones tied to his legs.

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Ahhh, period is over, hair is nice, pork is cooking in the oven, and I had a nice breakfast 😌 Gonna go draw some more ychs maybe :3 Wanna explore some other style I like OwO we'll see how it goes

Had to turn down a bidder on the auction today, because they were 20 mins late 🫠 An interesting experience first thing in the morning 🤪 But I gotta respect my own rules if I want other people to respect them too 🌚

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Я планирую перестать обесцвечивать волосы и красить на свои, тут видно немношк, что корни темнее. Пушо заебало, что они ломаются, отрезала вчера 5+см 😭

Я взяла антоцианин r01 👀 забавно, что я его даже не рассматривала 10+ лет назад, только яркий r02, а он оч даже ничего, и совсем не такой тёмный, как я думала 🫠 Можно было всё-таки намешать цвет потемнее, но это было бы тяжело в первый раз щас, непонятно, сколько краски надо на мои волосы

hydra.irl @hydra-irl.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

My hair is red again 😊 The previous red washed off completely, leaving dirty dusty grey pinkish roots and faded purple blue ends like there was never any red on top of them 🫠 this was the ugliest fading I had since probably forever xD yucky! We'll see how long this red stays qwq I have high hopes!

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An electrician came here and I was like sorry it's messy, and he's like: I'm not here to judge 😭💔 Well I take you word for it sir 🥲 Sorry for apologizing then kekw, I grew up being judged and punished for messy rooms, and then lived being judged for it after.

hydra.irl @hydra-irl.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Cut my hair again qwq Look, I can't justify paying £60-80 for a haircut 😵‍💫 This is one of the biggest tax on being a woman. And I'll probably have to pay it before the photoshoot 😔

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hydra.irl @hydra-irl.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

At least I can finish that snowflake 🥲🥲🥲

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hydra.irl @hydra-irl.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Whole day with no bids 🥲 it's usually starting very quickly. So now I'm like what am I gonna do if there's no commissions qwq

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hydra.irl @hydra-irl.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

And surely it will help me overcome the "going outside" anxiety 🫠 ughhhh..... Does anyone wanna start this thing with me maybe?🌝

hydra.irl @hydra-irl.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I'm getting closer and closer to the idea of starting walking 10k a day.. I wanna lose more weight, but I don't wanna eat less. So the only thing I can do is to move more 😩 I watched someone doing 20k daily, that feels a bit extreme 😵‍💫 Idk, but it feels like something I need.

hydra.irl @hydra-irl.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Just remembered I have an anon acc and can draw stuff without a fear of being judged 🥴 heh 🌝

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hydra.irl @hydra-irl.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

New passion unlocked: landscape design 🤪 We'll have a small garden and in no world I'm just having a lawn! I really hope the soil is somewhat acceptable over there and things will grow 😩

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hydra.irl @hydra-irl.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Tfw "I'm almost done!" but then "oh I gotta draw alternate versions" 😩 I forgor and now I'm not even close 😔

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hydra.irl @hydra-irl.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Dude idk what I was doing but it's 7pm already 😭 didn't even play or anything. Did the embroidery for a bit, but then...what... Q_Q

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hydra.irl @hydra-irl.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Now I feel like I wanna throw up every time I hear my neighbors...👌I can't wait to move out. How fun it is to just sit here being nauseous for the whole weekend.

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hydra.irl @hydra-irl.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Talked to girls for hours today 🙃 well I'm pleased to report I'm not really exhausted by it. I just felt like a mashed potato the whole day because I slept till 12:30pm x_x It was also nice because it wasn't in a group chat! Personal interactions are so much better, why are we stuck in group chats 😭

teeth already! As long as you do it twice a day you'll be just fine 😉👍 Super-cereal. Your protection for one of those nights 😌 Ok sorry I really need to sleep now, it's 3h past my bedtime 😭

Why don't they advertise cereal as an emergency snack? It's happened again, you've been laying in bed for hours, and now you can't fall asleep because you're hungry... Super-cereal is here for you! Just add some warm milk, ready in 1 minute in the microwave! And don't worry that you brushed your

The more I'm thinking about it the more angry I get, and I'm supposed to be sleeping now q_q And I do miss my parents, I haven't seen them since 2018, but things like this make me feel so grateful we live in different countries, what a blessing fr 🫠 I'm glad it's how it is

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"No it's not therapy, you were always strong".... Fuckkkkk of course I had to be strong growing up with no single adult around that I could count on! But strong doesn't mean unbreakable ffs...😭 I can't believe my eyes when I'm seeing these messages, like, what the actual fuck?!😩🤷‍♀️

I think I'd get a postpartum psychosis or something and there'd be no survivors then. I just wanted it to end, not to bring another life in that hell on earth x_x But what do they know about it, still they have the audacity to tell me they don't believe in the one thing that saved me.

Imagine having a kid for the rest of your life and seeing the face of your torturer in them 🫠 and having to interact with that torturer for the rest of your or your kids life and there'd be no end to it probably ever. Unless your kid decides to go no contact. This is the worst.

Thanks I mean! Wow! Those prayers weren't for nothing! Damn that helped me so much 👌👌👌 Who needs therapy when you can have your parent's prayers 🙏 Amen brother! 🫩😵‍💫🙄😒🫡👍 And it's not easy to draw when you have this circling on your mind 🫠 But also I made some progress somehow 🙃

And they tell me they saw how unhappy I was and they were praying for me! Fucking praying for me on one hand and telling me to have kids with that piece of shit garbage human being that never said a single kind word about them on the other hand 👌 I'm so fucking pissed! They were praying, well shit🥴

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They gave me no support when I was trying my hardest to not walk out the window, and all they told me was "make a baby and you won't have time to be sad". And now when I'm saying therapy helped me, THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN IT, it's not a flying pasta monster you can believe or not believe in!

hydra.irl @hydra-irl.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Idk what others think of when drawing, I was drawing today while being very angry with my parents 🫠 They "don't believe in therapy" bruh, therapy is the only reason you still have a daughter! Fucking unreal. I'm glad I've found this anger, because what the actual fuck is that?

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When I started my adult pics journey I thought it would be cool to make really high quality porn, that's not just something to jerk off to, but something one could look at and find beauty in it. Still idk if it was worth it, if any of it is. I feel so lost half the time 🥲